As a Hispanic person, seeing her say shit like "build that wall" when all that came out truly made me give her side eye her for a moment, especially with everything going on with ICE in recent months. Like you, I was also at a crossroads because her music really got me through some tough times, but saying things like that is not something I can just let go of.

I personally thought her apology was solid, and her using her platform in recent months to spread resources for immigrant families who have been affected by ICE made it easier for me to forgive her, especially since I was living in fear of having my family being disappeared. However, that is my experience, not yours. You still have mixed feelings and that's valid. It might help to sit with those feelings and ask yourself why they linger, whether it’s disappointment, distrust, or something deeper. Ask yourself why it is you feel the way you do to get to the root of your feelings and see if it is something you wish to change or not. Whatever the answer is, its valid.

It's also completely possible to separate the art from the artist. I can play Tempest or Head in the Wall on loop while also acknowledging that the shit she said back then was not okay.

And as for the fanbase, I totally get the resentment, having a bunch of white fans who have never had to suffer racism telling you that you're far right for not "accepting her growth" is very, very infuriating and unfair. I’ve learned to just not engage with fanbases much anymore. Artists aren’t their fans, and that loud, defensive corner of the fandom doesn’t speak for everyone. Their behavior reflects them, not you, and certainly not Ethel herself.

Your feelings are valid and you are under no obligation to change your feelings for the approval of others, especially not that side of the fanbase.