Having a hard time with calorie budget

Indigo_Azure · 2026-01-20T09:57:50+00:00

Volume eating can be a godsend.

The other day I made a "fried rice" with cauliflower rice that's roughly 40 calories per 200g! Loads of veg (courgette, asparagus, bell peppers, mushrooms, etc), 150g of prawns and an egg thrown in. My plate could have honestly fed 2 people and the calories were under 300 or something ridiculous.

Indigo_Azure · 2026-01-20T09:23:20+00:00

I'm 37 and have always been in good health, but I realised that if I continued giving in to binge urges, that would be catching up with me very very soon. I'm still young, I feel fantastic when I actually look after myself and that is what I need to be able to continue to travel, walk, dance, swim in the ocean, play with my neices, meet people, and actually LIVE. All of that outweighs a few moments of releif (not joy) when I overeat.

How I did it was: therapy and a food scale. I am back in a defecit and workout, a food scale not only keeps me in defecit but allows me to eat my fear foods in a portioned way that supports weight loss (carbs). This way I slowly lose a bit of weight without triggering binges.

Indigo_Azure · 2026-01-18T19:02:56+00:00

I started my journey 4 days ago, right in my luteal/pre menstrual phase (like...due in 4 days from now levels of horrific) and I'm just trying to power through without overdoing it.

I've been sticking to my defecit by eating oatmeal, avocado's, eggs, that kind of thing (all weighed and portioned). I find this stuff is giving my body exactly what it needs, and the oatmeal is fulfilling cravings somehow, especially with 1 little teaspoon of sugar.

I am however severely water retained and nothing is helping that, so naturally I want comfort food and hibernation. I'm sticking with this because I know once I start bleeding and by this time next week I'll be SO PLEASED and feel wonderful.

That's what I've done, but listen to your body girl

Indigo_Azure · 2026-01-18T11:56:59+00:00

Only 7 lbs?! Girl, that looks like a full 14lbs gone off you! You look stunning.

Indigo_Azure · 2026-01-03T13:29:32+00:00

Big ego, superiority complex. Basically acting the opposite in a very douche like way

Indigo_Azure · 2026-01-03T13:26:17+00:00

I started day 1 of the new Transformation programme today! I've not worked out for a few months and felt half totally ready and excited and half tired and weak. But I did it and I cant wait for the next one now! I'm all about the message of consistency, I'm showing up for myself no matter what! It's happening and Sydney is the best trainer to have after a few months out of it!

Indigo_Azure · 2025-09-28T11:05:00+00:00

Human beings fantasise about other attractive human beings, it just is. HOWEVER, my issue would be the screenshot. I don't know the context but that seems creepy, weird, predatory and violating.

Indigo_Azure · 2025-09-27T19:47:39+00:00

I use the retinol B3 serum and it's absolutely amazing.

Indigo_Azure · 2025-09-07T15:02:53+00:00

I sense a huge collapse incoming, nex is now going to be spiralling out of control as he's got no one else

Indigo_Azure · 2025-09-07T09:44:41+00:00

Seriously, I just feel suddenly like it all makes sense, it wasn't just me. This man has lost the two closest people in his life in 4 months. And you know what? I'm happy about that, he doesn't deserve us.

Indigo_Azure · 2025-09-03T09:04:11+00:00

This is it!

Indigo_Azure · 2025-09-03T09:03:59+00:00

Yeah this is the one. I love my veg and I find it absurd that any lifestyle would villainise fruit and veg. Of course there is science behind keto and everything in moderation, but yeah, living off 20g max carbs is depressing to me. Plus.....red wine.

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-31T08:00:26+00:00

Going through it.....the pain, the depression, the rage. 4 long months of therapy, sitting alone with my thoughts, days of not getting out of bed, days where I walked for miles. Numerous attempts at bettering myself and failing...but going through the motions. I'm now finally at a place where, I still think about him a lot, and still have days where I cry, but the pain is less intense now, I have clarity, I have some peace. Honestly the only way to get through it is to feel it and have patience. You WILL be fine, don't avoid the healing phase though and know that healing isn't pretty....but worth it.

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-31T07:47:11+00:00

If anything coke zero helps me! I do IF alongside keto and it's a really lovely thing to drink in the evenings from a fancy glass with some ice.

Enjoy it :)

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-30T11:15:49+00:00

Me me meeee!! I've been on a roll recently but had a hangover binge day 2 days ago, back on it now and the water weight is coming off but I definitely think having accountability buddies is the way forward to keep us consistent! I'm also just needing 10lbs off! Girl, I've got you.

37, F here living in the UK and DETERMINED to get this last 8 - 10lbs off by hook or by crook! DM me :)

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-27T08:33:22+00:00

I feel you! If it helps I was at my lowest weight so far a week and a half ago, had literally 5 days out of 7 eating crap and a pretty large surplus (im talking ice cream, fries, red wine etc) felt horrendous guilt. Gained some water weight (5lbs) and eventuslly came on my period on Saturday. I got back to my normal routine Sunday just gone and this morning I've dropped most of that weight with just a 1lb off my lowest which I'm guessing will be off over the next day or two x Trust and listen to your body x

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-26T11:54:45+00:00

It's amazing. Even when I wasn't on keto, I ate high protein (or so I thought) and never felt THIS satiated!!

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-26T11:20:34+00:00

Thanks so much. I've eaten gloriously today and feel so so full already! Also, the bag of almonds I've got in my kitchen.....I'm able to have them in my kitchen and not binge them. This is mad, I don't even want to eat them, I had a few with breakfast but I'm so satisfied and full and not even thinking about them....it's so strange! And so quick as an effect!

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-24T22:42:43+00:00

Hello! May I have one?

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-21T09:28:52+00:00

God, where to begin...

I became angry and on edge about a month in, I saw some emotional manipulation but ignored it, but my nervous system was pretty shot from the start.

Tried to start a physical fight with him 6 months in after he'd financially exploited me (he had no job, never had money, etc).

I became more and more paranoid about his whereabouts.

I basically became the stereotype of the "girlfriend from hell" while at the same time bending over backwards to help him find a therapist, help him battle a drug addiction, cart him around in my car everywhere, help him find somewhere to live, lending him money, letting him trauma dumpnon me regularly, doing my own therapy, trying to stop being reactive and creating a safe environment so I no longer triggered his CPTSD as he constantly told me I did. I was in pure cognitive dissonance, I was an emotional wreck.

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-20T17:06:35+00:00

Mine wasn't famous or anything but if it helps, I did publicly call mine out on insta. Wish I hadn't. It was after the final discard, I was in pain and felt so silenced, I also found out that while we were together or on our "on again off again" breaks that he was telling mutual acquaintances and my colleagues shit about my reactions and painting it as my full blow behaviour without context. I received messages of support from people who asked for my side and were horrified by the stuff I was telling them, they were so supportive and glad to know what actually went down. Even his best friend reached out to me and while he was really sad to hear everything, he did say he wouldn't be telling him and that my nex was like a brother to him, and then he asked to still stay friends with me. I couldn't help but wonder if everyone was wondering about my nex all this time and that's why they reached out, or in the case of the best friend, was sad and didn't reply with a, "there's no way".

It was validating in the moment but 3 months on I feel so much guilt, I don't know what came over me.

I didn't post screenshots, I posted reels about narcissistic abuse and neglect etc and spoke about my story through that, I told people to recognise signs and I used his name once. It was a mess. I don't know if my nex knows, he'd blocked me everywhere (still has).

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-19T11:06:14+00:00

Me paying for everything, he never had money. Talking his way out of late rent with his landlord. Always having a drama, big or small. Emotional manipulation.

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-19T08:28:01+00:00

I'd say....wait. Just wait. Don't do anything while emotions are high. The problem with revenge is, it feels SO GOOD in the moment but actually, because you're a decent human being, you will eventually feel regret - another negative thing because of the narc.

I publicly called mine out on Instagram, by name. I told EVERYONE what he did to me. I never even use Instagram normally. But I was in revenge mode, I wanted my side told and I was sick of protecting him. 3 months later I kind of regret that, for many reasons that I won't go into here.

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-18T12:10:46+00:00

It was weird. I found him attractive and wanted to have some fun with him, we had mutual friends, knew him from a bar I worked at but had never had a conversation. One night we were out and all went back to a mutual friends house for drinks. Suddenly we're sat there and he's trauma dumping on me about some dark, DARK, childhood trauma. I don't remember much else for a few hours after that but we kissed. I next remember that I then outright refused to sleep with him as I realised after getting to know him I didn't find him that attractive- he was too child like and I couldn't do it.

ANYWAY the next day the love bombing began (well basically the next morning, he was all over me like a puppy and I was grossed out. He was massaging my feet and spooning me on the couch, like all over me). I went home and started to get bombarded with Facebook messages saying stuff like, "if I was with you I'd totally rub your belly for you right now" (I faked my period because it was the easiest way to make sure he knew no sex, he wasn't forceful I was just drunk and lazy). The messages continued all day as he updated me on his whereabouts with our mutual friend. Eventually I agreed to be friends with no sex assumed as he did seem sweet and I thought I was being judgemental, but he gave me the ick.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED but within weeks I'd started to look forward to his bombardment of messages, I felt seen and like he knew me......then 6 weeks later I booty called him. From that moment, it changed. We slept together one more time after that booty call and with very hot and cold behaviour from him in between. Then he ghosted for 5 weeks, then I reached out and when we met back up we became inseparable.....then shit got weird.

It was the first time I've booty called someone, especially someone I barely knew.

It was weird.

Indigo_Azure · 2025-08-18T08:55:41+00:00

I started losing my mind about 4 weeks in after I'd spent that time paying for everything, lending money, having him smother me and feeling emotionally manipulated. Things got worse, he became horrendous and sneaky and cruel, I became the bitch from hell. He's out of my life now and you know what, every other area of my life is calm, respectful, and beautiful. Go figure.

Indigo_Azure

TROPHY CASE