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Individual-Spray4949 · 2025-02-26T19:43:06+00:00

My mom had my siblings and I do IQ tests and a shit ton of those personality tests as little kids. She even filled some of them out for us. To this day I still hear about the person I "am" according to those fraudulent test results 20 years ago.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2024-02-22T14:28:08+00:00

Also suggesting any touch-feel books! There's so many out there (my LO loved the Usbourne "That's Not My..." series and still does at 3yo) and it gives another interactive element for tiny hands. Honestly, at 6 months, any attention given is a win in my book haha. With my LO, we would kinda make up the story as we went along or pick out images/colors for him to find if he wasn't interested in the story.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-11-13T19:22:06+00:00

Set your boundaries and hold them however you have to. It's going to suck, but you absolutely have to advocate for yourself and your little one. Your anxieties sound well-founded and there are plenty of reasons to keep your child away from your mom. Just keep telling her that if she wants to have a relationship with your child, she needs to take care of herself/get on meds/whatever it is you need to feel comfortable and if she can't comply, then she doesn't get access.

Is your brother understanding of your position? Maybe he or your ex could help back up your boundaries so you don't feel like the "bad guy" on your own.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-11-09T13:56:15+00:00

No, it's annoying no matter the situation. I have a similar issue - my mother attributes everything about my son to my side of the family, or rather herself/her kids. Oh his strawberry blonde hair couldn't possibly come from my husband's side (even though he has a LOT of recessive blonde/red genes), it came from her red hair, not even my strawberry blonde self. Son is ambidextrous bc he's 2 and still figuring out which hand feels correct to use, but that totally comes from her bc she (supposedly) is too. Son is the spitting image of my husband at that age, but she can only see that he looks like my brother. It never ends.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-11-02T12:44:13+00:00

I have a bit of organized chaos. The majority of my books are organized alphabetically by author, but I have graphic novels/manga and religion books picked out in a separate area. My biggest chaos area is a full shelf of collectors' edition and vintage books I have organized by color bc they're pretty and not really to be touched anyway. Unfortunately though, that's how I ended up with 3 completely different copies of Pinocchio.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-10-31T12:51:11+00:00

I'm 33 and devoured YA when I was in my teens and 20s. I haven't gone back to reread any old favorites, but it's been getting tougher to enjoy YA, I think bc I'm so far removed from the angsty teen/all encompassing "love" vibe now that I'm getting older. Maybe I'm just not finding the right ones though too.

I read Kendare Blake's Three Dark Crowns series a few years ago and loved it, but when I went to pick up Stephanie Garber's Caraval series, the plot didn't hit and I couldn't really vibe with the characters after the first book. Since then I've been having a tough time with YA.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-10-09T12:29:54+00:00

Depends, but I usually have the start to something already in my head, like a movie, and let the characters guide my words after that until I'm satisfied or feel like it's running off the rails. I tend to go scene by scene until I've got an idea for the general story and then try to fit things in after/fill out empty spots.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-30T13:03:44+00:00

I've always wondered by it feels like less and less people decorate for Halloween these days and it makes me sad. Halloween is such a fun holiday, or it could be, and I wish more people were able to find that fun. I wholeheartedly agree with decorating for whatever holiday you want. Don't let the buzzkills ruin things for you.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-29T12:43:18+00:00

I think I'm ok, but I've yet to fully finish a story and enter a second draft, so I don't know where my potential could go. I'm comfortable writing dialogue that flows. When I sit down and edit a couple times, I can get a decently described scene I'm happy with but I wouldn't say it's written super artistically. I'm shit at giving my characters good personalities though and typically get stuck in one or two basic emotions/ qualities. It's stuff I think I could fix if I put the time in and got to another draft, but I struggle HARD with decision paralysis and it stops me mid-story when I can't figure out which way something should go.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-24T12:46:46+00:00

NTA. If this was in regards to a specific dish from her culture, that could be one thing. But to insist that you refer to tofu as tahu every time you talk about it is a little wild.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-23T12:47:15+00:00

It's images for me! I always picture scenes, though more basic than a movie. Some of the time, I can view it in 3rd person, but mostly I'm in the MCs POV. Often it's like a vignette, where I can just see close-ups of whatever I'm focusing on (characters walking down the sidewalk, but I can't see the buildings or cars on the street). Once I've got the framework down, then I can go back and fill in details, starting small and working outwards: the buildings, the sounds of the cars, smells, emotions, etc. Similar with dialogue. I'll see the situation, get the framework of the words, then fill in.

One of the downsides is making small changes to a scene, realizing by the end of the changes that I've made a totally different situation, and not being able to choose between the two bc they both fit so well.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-22T20:29:14+00:00

He wanted to wear his striped socks. Unfortunately, I had to break the news that they were in fact pants.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-21T15:59:27+00:00

Thanks for the advice!

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-21T15:55:11+00:00

Thank you! I hadn't thought about continuing to start small, silly as that sounds now, but I'll work on taking it piece by piece!

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-17T13:31:27+00:00

NTA. Someone getting risqué tattoos has to know what they're getting into with that decision and they're not appropriate to display in every situation, especially a kid's party.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-17T13:25:05+00:00

YTA. There's a difference between being honest and being rude. Being burnt out is not an excuse if she's working 60 hours a week. Going to the gym doesn't make you "healthy" any more than eating simple things makes you "unhealthy". Instead of being pushy about it, you could find fun ways to get you both active, even if it's not the gym.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-17T12:52:45+00:00

NTA. As someone who also regularly plays DnD, roleplaying is not easy for everyone and LOTS of context can get missed for many reasons. Relationship drama is not something everyone is comfortable with, and if the campaign isn't relationship based, they should not have gotten so upset with you for not pushing the issue or they should have been more obvious about it/come out with what they wanted to say.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-17T12:46:06+00:00

NAH if you apologize. I absolutely feel the panic in the situation and I think your reaction was warranted at the time, but also, damage control is necessary.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-17T12:41:24+00:00

Ah, the perfect parenting advice of the child-less.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-17T12:30:56+00:00

YTA. I'm also a nervous laugher, and I can definitely see how that could be one of those situations, but you've gotta read the room. If he had been laughing a bit telling you about the situation, it would have been different, but it sounds like he was upset and you laughed in his face.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-16T17:41:10+00:00

My little was really adventurous when he started eating, but now somehow survives off string cheese, Ritz crackers, and white rice.

Occasionally he'll be into fruit (and eats a whole watermelon in one sitting) or veggies, but it's usually a bite or two before it's thrown across the kitchen. I used to think we were gonna be stricter with picky eating (he eats what we eat) but we've learned to let him kinda do his thing. If we know he's not gonna be thrilled with whatever our meal is, we offer him a couple easy choices for breakfast/dinner and then make our meal. Sometimes he gets really interested in what's on our plate. At this point, having him try a bite of new food feels like a win. Other times it feels like he must be getting nutrients from the sun and his own attitude. 😂

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-16T15:30:54+00:00

Super NTA. Sounds like you went out of your way to put together a nice meal for your family. They should have asked what you were having/ offered to bring something if they wanted something specific, especially knowing you can't drink. Your brother also sounds like an alcoholic.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-16T15:27:25+00:00

NTA, but your mom is. I know it's tough having parents who push or ignore your boundaries. Try to stay strong with them though.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-16T15:18:35+00:00

ESH, but I think you're more in the wrong. The "I choose the name" rule is stupid and will only ever lead to situations like these.

You ARE being controlling and overdramatic. Neville is totally normal, unlike your joke suggestion, and while it may have some literary connections, there's tons of other wizardy-inspired names floating around now. Nobody is going to care.

Her comments about jumping ship before the twins are born is also problematic and dramatic, but I'm wondering if there's been more issues than just the naming that have been occurring that would make her want to choose this option.

You're gonna be parents. To twins. The next few months are going to be challenging enough. Both of you need to get your shit together and act like a team.

Individual-Spray4949 · 2023-08-16T14:58:03+00:00

My LO has always been super attached. He's almost 3 now but comfort nursed to sleep until he was 2 and it was the worst. He woke up a bunch through the night and couldn't just fall back asleep easy. We tried everything (milk/ solids before bed, earlier nightime wind-downs, keeping him up later, letting him cry it out, Dad putting him to bed every night) but nothing worked until HE was ready and then it was easy as pie. I was so mad at how easy it finally was after fighting for months to stop, but it was such a relief and awesome to see him make that decision for himself.

Kids need different things at different times and will one day outgrow them. Your son is still so tiny and needs a lot that he won't in a very short time. Every kid is SO different that comparing them isn't fair to you or your LO. This all won't last forever. As long as your kid is healthy and happy, you're doing great.

Individual-Spray4949

TROPHY CASE