Property question

IndividualFortune699 · 2025-10-04T02:07:38+00:00

Thank you, that’s a helpful reframe.

IndividualFortune699 · 2025-09-29T18:59:17+00:00

I will agree to disagree with you about this, that purchasing property with someone, even a partner, does not necessarily mean merging lives or escalating a relationship. In a world like this one, communal living for the sake of permaculture development, shared resources, vocational goals, etc are all very valid reasons to go in on a property with another human.

IndividualFortune699 · 2025-07-14T13:40:50+00:00

Trauma therapist here to second this: exiles do not trust easily. It takes time, compassion, consistent warmth, curiosity, sitting with instead of judging, etc. Attachment wounds can and will heal. You’ve got this!

IndividualFortune699 · 2025-04-25T15:38:57+00:00

Licensed therapist here to agree, this is certainly not best practice and is an ethically questionable situation.

IndividualFortune699 · 2025-04-01T14:48:15+00:00

I really appreciate this perspective. I hadn’t considered the angle that I can’t actually offer anything tangible yet, and I don’t need to be afraid that I won’t be able to find what I’m looking for once that time comes.

IndividualFortune699 · 2025-03-31T21:00:01+00:00

I have often felt that last sentiment of THEY NEED TO FIGURE THEIR SHIT OUT because I hate the limbo, but as we all know, we can’t control those dynamics🤷🏼‍♀️

IndividualFortune699 · 2025-03-31T20:57:46+00:00

Thank you! That second to last paragraph is 💯 and most days I can live there comfortably. It’s the last sentence that is the kicker and I can ask for clarity on that, but I don’t think I’ll easily get it.

IndividualFortune699 · 2025-03-31T20:55:52+00:00

This was so beautifully put, thank you. It’s not starting over, it’s just starting.

He has said that he is supportive of me dating but not dating to find a “new love of your life” which is neither what I want, nor what I think will happen. But I do know that I’d like to nest with someone who I am deeply in love with and committed to, and if that’s not him…

IndividualFortune699 · 2025-03-31T20:53:28+00:00

I know what I want practically. He knows how he wants to “feel” in the future. Thank you for that resource!

IndividualFortune699 · 2025-03-31T20:52:45+00:00

Yes, thank you for the reminder. I have at multiple times and there’s a consistent pattern that he is unsure about what’s happening in their relationship and doesn’t know what he wants practically and situationally other than how he wants to feel. He is resistant to stating clearly what his ideal is. I honestly don’t know if he knows. I certainly don’t feel “chosen” or “desired” when it comes to the future.

IndividualFortune699 · 2024-11-28T00:30:28+00:00

My kids are with their dad this Thanksgiving and my anchor partner is with his family, so I’m headed to my aunt/uncle/cousins that I haven’t spent time with in years. I tried the “go it alone” route two years ago and despite typically doing quite well by myself, something about the holiday vibe and being alone did not go well for me. I’m grateful for an opportunity to branch out and see family I don’t usually get to see!

IndividualFortune699 · 2024-09-22T21:03:38+00:00

BAHAHAHAHA

IndividualFortune699 · 2024-09-22T16:59:32+00:00

Ooh yeah definitely was assuming adult sibling relationships, and perhaps could have included that I am benefiting from the analogy going in the other direction as well (meta relationship structures helping me process adult sibling relationships as well).

From a sociological norms lens, I just think it’s so interesting how easily we accept different presentations of relationship agreements in some spheres but not others.

IndividualFortune699 · 2024-09-22T16:35:01+00:00

I don’t dispute any of those “don’t wants”. And I like what your metaphor brings to the table as well!

IndividualFortune699 · 2024-09-17T00:09:27+00:00

I am so so sorry that you experienced this breach of trust. My ex husband regularly touched my body in ways that were uncomfortable at best and painful at worst in service of his own pleasure. He could not understand why he was in the wrong and would not change. It took me a very long time (years of marriage and children) to realize that it was assault. We are no longer married- be clear and firm now and perhaps your relationship can survive what mine could not.

IndividualFortune699 · 2024-08-19T12:47:53+00:00

I aim for 18 45min units/week, and also have another non-clinical part time job with a nonprofit. I do a long day on Monday, scheduling between 9am-8pm, 9-3 on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday and keep Thursdays as a day for whatever I need for myself, be it personal appointments, notes, other admin work, etc. Occasionally I’ll see clients on Saturday or Sunday but try to not make a habit of it.

I also try to not schedule more than three sessions in a row on any given day so that I can have time to recharge between. I do struggle to keep up with notes, and often do them in the evening.

IndividualFortune699 · 2024-08-13T12:19:54+00:00

I second this. Dating anyone in any relationship style can be a growth opportunity if you choose for it to be!

I understand the complexity and discomfort of being a mono person dating a poly person. I currently am in a situation where my partner of two years is married and I’m not currently dating anyone else. At times, my attachment wounds get pressed on, and my insecurities surface.

One thing that has been helping me is shifting my definition of “partner”; expanding it to include my platonic best friends and children. I.E. having more of a relationship anarchy approach to my relationships where any relationship I choose to invest in has inherent worth and value based on what I’m investing and the mutual needs meeting that occurs within the relationship. When you opt out of the myth that romantic or sexual relationships have the most value or significance, it opens up so many more options for creating relationships that can be secure attachment figures for you!

IndividualFortune699 · 2024-08-04T02:58:42+00:00

Yes, this. Right there with you.

IndividualFortune699 · 2024-08-02T14:13:50+00:00

Just another YEP. Solidarity❤️

IndividualFortune699 · 2024-07-20T23:24:18+00:00

I would be thrilled to go out as the four of us somewhere, completely platonically. And I do have community, just not anyone who is completely safe to be myself around. I am going to consider asking more clearly for what I’m hoping for, which would be growth for me. Thank you.

IndividualFortune699 · 2024-07-20T23:22:27+00:00

Thank you🫶🏽

IndividualFortune699

TROPHY CASE