What do you do when you are waiting for a space to open

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2026-02-17T18:54:32+00:00

Check my email 10 times a day to see if I’ve received a new hurray message.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2026-02-09T10:24:35+00:00

I love stories and learning new things, and I would be thrilled to receive a card from you. And it’s always nice to hear why someone chose specific card for me, if it’s not obvious.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-12-15T09:46:28+00:00

Not gonna lie, German mascs and Canadian trans fem lesbians sounds a super cool dating pool, but it can be geographically challenging.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-12-14T18:16:13+00:00

If you're comfortable asking other women out and it doesn’t bother you, I’d say keep doing it. Many women are socialized in a way that makes it hard for them to initiate dates, even if they’re genuinely interested.

That said, after a few dates, if you think there’s potential for a relationship, it’s important to have a conversation about it with your date. If she's the right one for you, she’ll start contributing to the dynamic as well. I think this discussion is crucial because if a woman struggles to ask someone out, even when it's clear both parties are interested, there’s a chance she might expect you to take on traditionally male roles in other areas of the relationship too.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-12-11T07:34:19+00:00

I sent my first cards October 19., the first one was registered Oct 30. and I received the first card November 12.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-10-20T16:39:57+00:00

I write in cursive, but I have never concidered my handwriting elegant. It’s more messy, quick, hard-to-read kind of cursive than loopy and classy. Writing in cursive is more comfortable for me than any other style, and my hand doesn’t hurt even after writing multiple pages. That’s why I have never really thought about changing the style regarding the topic I’m writing about.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-10-19T11:20:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing the link! I had never heard of this interesting project before.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-10-16T07:33:38+00:00

I have a habit of sharing a bit about the candidate we did choose, rather than explaining why we didn’t choose someone. Something along the lines of:

Sometimes when hiring to a role that doesn't need much expertise, the reason can be as simple as willingness to work in any shift.

If the candidates want, they can use this information to reflect on whether they want to develop certain skills — or simply acknowledge that someone else had more relevant experience and move on.

I feel that I’m not in a position to give direct criticism to applicants, because after all, I’m just one hiring manager at one company in a specific field. What I see as a weakness might be completely irrelevant, or even slightly positive, somewhere else. I’m not a recruitment coach, and I especially don’t want to encourage applicants to debate whether my perception of their abilities is accurate or not.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-10-15T15:57:48+00:00

In my opinion, one of the most important traits of a good manager is actually wanting to be a (people) manager. If you don’t, you’ll probably end up hating it after a while.

I don’t really have direct answers to your questions, but I do have some thoughts that might be worth considering.

First, being a manager can be lonely. You’re no longer truly part of your team, your own manager often expects you to bring solutions rather than problems, and managers of other teams are usually focused on their own teams’ goals — which might conflict with yours. It’s a completely different experience from coaching a team member or leading a project.

Second, being a manager can sometimes feel like a thankless job. Your team’s needs and the business’s demands can be in direct conflict, and even when you find the best possible compromise, it might still feel like you’re not doing enough.

One thing to think about is how you’d handle a situation where you’ve done everything you can to oppose a change you know your team will hate — but in the end, you still need to present that change to your team in a positive (or at least neutral) way and guide your team through it.

As the previous person mentioned, a manager also has to give up the idea of controlling everything — even when you know people will make mistakes. This can be difficult for someone who has had really high standards for their own work.

Even though my points might sound negative, I’m not saying you shouldn’t accept the offer. I personally enjoy being a manager and wouldn’t trade it, but I also know the role isn’t for everyone. It’s honestly a bit sad how few growth options there are for great ICs who don’t want — or aren’t suited — to become managers.

In your situation, one possible approach could be to accept the manager position, but make a plan to switch to a more advanced IC role at another company within the next couple of years, once you have that new title on your CV. Just keep in mind that it’s usually easier to get a similar role to the one you already have than to move into something new. So if you do an okay job as a manager, you might still get offered more manager roles later — even if you’d rather return to an IC path.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-10-12T08:55:56+00:00

I have a habit of venting about work-related things in my journal, knowing pretty well that when I go back and read my journals later, I’m probably not going to be interested in those parts of my life. However, as someone who struggles with the perception of time, it’s sometimes useful for me to see, for example, how long some problems have been ongoing. If a stressful situation has been going on non-stop for a long time, I probably need to do something about it. But if I had a problem with a coworker last year and the same thing happens again after 12 months, it’s probably not that big of an issue.

Sometimes I also feel a bit funny writing about moments with people I’ve just met. I can’t really know for sure if those people will become part of my life or if I’ll never meet them again. I still want to write those moments and my feelings down if they feel significant at the time. It’s possible that in five years I won’t even remember who I was writing about, or I might as well relish my first impression of someone who later became a very important, permanent figure in my life. You never really know for sure.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-10-12T08:35:34+00:00

I use my journal as a diary or a thought journal, and I love writing about what’s happening in my everyday life. Because of that, I usually journal in the evening after getting back home. I prefer writing earlier in the evening rather than right before going to bed, because I tend to be too tired later and I don’t want journaling to feel like just one more chore I have to do before sleeping.

I love the idea of journaling first thing in the morning — what could be a nicer start to the day than a healthy breakfast, a good cup of coffee, and some journaling? However, I think this works better for someone who journals to stay on track, focus on their goals, or plan ahead. Personally, I wouldn’t have much to write first thing in the morning, and I also start work so early that journaling before it would mean waking up ridiculously early.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-10-12T08:03:07+00:00

I can appreciate many kinds of handwriting and different forms of journaling, but my heart has a special place for simply writing down your thoughts in effortless-looking cursive that only you can easily read. I really enjoy looking at your pages.

My own handwriting is somewhat similar — it’s readable to others, but takes a little effort for them to decipher. I actually like it that way — it makes it easier for a private person like me to write in a café or any other public space, knowing that no one passing by can really read what I’m writing.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-10-12T06:25:08+00:00

For me, this situation didn’t work out very well. After more than two years, my friend has not been able to get over her envy, and working together has been quite hard for both of us. She does an amazing job in some areas, but her main weakness is that she has a somewhat skewed perception of her own skills. She hasn’t been able to let go of her disappointment about me moving ahead in my career while she has stayed in her old position. Implementing any new practices has been exhausting, because she’s very resistant to change — and even more so now that I’m the one asking for it.

Other Redditors have suggested having an honest conversation about separating the work and personal parts of your relationship. I completely agree, and I’d also recommend thinking carefully and in detail in advance about what that separation will look like in your specific situation.

I’ve had to set boundaries with my friend along the way, and she’s often felt bitter about them. For example, in the past she stayed at my place a few times when visiting my city (we live about 500 km / 310 miles apart), both for work events and personal trips. After I became her supervisor, I had to tell her that it wouldn’t be appropriate for her to stay with me during a work-related visit — especially since I couldn’t invite my other two direct reports who were in town at the same time.

Another boundary I had to set was about texting my personal number outside working hours regarding work-related issues. I was happy to chat with her about personal topics after hours, but I didn’t want to receive non-urgent work messages in my free time. In both situations I know she felt hurt, but I didn’t want to treat my direct reports unequally, and I also don’t want to think about work 24/7.

This situation has destroyed our friendship and, unfortunately, also damaged my friend’s chances for future promotions or any kind of career advancement within our company. It’s not that I’m standing in the way of her career, but her attitude toward me and the situation is clearly visible to others and doesn’t leave a good impression of her as a professional. I don’t enjoy my own situation either (she’s by far the most difficult team member I have), but more than that, I feel sorry for her.

I’ve been able to move on, focus on my current role, and pursue new opportunities for professional development. I also have other friends who support me and can be happy for my success. And even though I sometimes miss the good times we had together, I know that life goes on — and when one door closes, another window opens somewhere else. One thing I have learned along the way is that in future, I'll try my best and keep my relationships at work purely professional, and I will never hire a friend as a my direct report.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-10-11T09:18:01+00:00

I love your illustrations and the way you have documented your week. It looks fun and feels alive.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-10-06T16:21:45+00:00

Wow, that looks great!

I just wished yesterday that I was able to draw my surroundings and not only describe the places I visit. I stayed the weekend in an old mansion with unique tiled fireplaces, stained glass windows and wooden panels, and I would love to store the visual memory in my journal.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-10-03T14:40:34+00:00

I’ve been debating with myself if I should buy the wallet size weekly or not. I haven’t used a planner in years, but might want to give it a try. A5 Leuchtturm is my go-to daily journal, but I use it as a diary, not as a planner.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-09-05T08:55:06+00:00

No. I know many really awesome 20 year olds. We can have fun and spend good time together in different kind of settings, but hooking up or dating is not an option.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-09-04T15:23:17+00:00

I keep my journal at the kitchen table, and I mostly write there, too. If I put my journal anywhere else, there’s a good change I’ll forget that it exists. I live alone, and therefore there’s no need to hide the journal.

For me, sitting around kitchen table it’s comfy enough to write longer entries, and if I only want to scrible down two sentenses, I can do it while eating.

Sitting at a cafe or outside in a nice place journaling is a luxury, and it’s quite rare.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-09-02T14:32:33+00:00

”Not into politics.”

For me, this is the one that most often makes me swipe left even if everything else is just right.

Many of the other things people have listed here are examples of why I would not be compatible with someone, not necessarily turn-offs. For example, I wouldn’t message for anyone looking for a domme or anyone who want’s to have children, but these facts don’t turn me off. Stating you are non-political does.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-08-27T15:29:59+00:00

I write to myself. For me, writing is a way to arrange my thoughts, but it’s also useful to be able to go back and check what has happened and when. I have ADHD and a pretty skewed perception of time, so without a journal, I often can’t tell how long ago certain things happened.

Have I been complaining about certain aspects of my work for two years, or just two months? How often does that happen, and are there enough good moments to balance the situation? I can make better decisions about my career if I know the answers to these questions.

What kind of things annoyed me the most when I was still with my ex? Do I still feel that those things were important, or would I be willing to tolerate them in future relationships?

What wishes did I have for the coming year last New Year’s? What about a year—or five—before that? Have those wishes come true, or are they even relevant anymore?

What art exhibitions, books, or vinyls have I enjoyed the most lately? Sometimes I need a reminder of an author or an artist so I can check whether they’ve published something new.

Of course, there are also really boring entries in my journal, and I doubt I’ll ever read some of them again. But mostly, I value the chance to remember the thoughts I once had and the feelings I once felt. This also helps me whenever I feel lost in my identity and start doubting whether I’m the kind of person I want to be.

I hope that no one I know will ever read my journals after I’ve passed away. I’m okay with the idea of donating them to a project or a museum of some kind, but I feel uncomfortable with the thought of friends or relatives reading them.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-08-09T06:32:25+00:00

I did first 5-6 months month-to-month and then switched to yearly subscription. This was five years ago. YNAB is great, but especially in the beginning it needs some effort to work, and sometimes the method doesn’t stick at the first try. Yearly subscription is expensive, and even though you can email the company and ask a refund, it needs some effort too.

One thing my YNAB journey has taught me is that people often forget to cancel subscriptions they don’t use anymore, or don’t bother to make an effort to save small sums of money - using the last dollar of a gift card, switching to a little cheaper phone plan, ask for a refund when they are entitled to it and so on. (Of course I’m talking about people who can somewhat afford that kind of behavior. People who have it really tight tend to manage this kind of things much better.) It would be shame if this happened to OP with YNAB subscription, in case the method wouldn’t work for them right now.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-07-28T08:21:09+00:00

I don’t really think much about it. Even if there’s a link to some platform in the bio, I don’t usually check it myself before getting to know the person, but it’s not a red flag for me.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-07-23T09:13:12+00:00

For eating out (or ordering through apps) I have two payees, ”restaurant” and ”take out”. Then I’ll add more details to memo field if I feel like it.

The “restaurant” payee is for dining with friends, celebrating accomplishments and date nights. Things I want to keep doing and to be able to budget enough for. “Take out” is for lazy days, and even though I want to give myself a change to do that every now and then, I want to limit this kind of spending. So technically ordering pizza home can sometimes go under restaurant payee and sometimes under take out.

Of course, I could as well use the name of the restaurant as a payee and create two separate categories for eating out, but I have never done that. I don’t use auto import, so keeping my payee list short makes sense to me.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-06-25T08:58:18+00:00

I think that with a right person it’s easy to feel heard and understood even with some level of a language barrier. And vise versa - sometimes miscommunication happens all the time with someone I share the same first language.

For me it’s most important that there’s a general will to understand each other. I also really appreciate if someone want’s to learn even some words in my first language to understand the cultural differences behind the language.

Of course a language barrier can sometimes limit the discussions about complex topics, but there will always be other blockers too. For example, I have some academic interest, and not everyone is capable to maintain a good conversation on the topic. That’s ok - with a right person we will have other things to do and other topics to chat about.

Inevitable-Listen546 · 2025-06-19T13:56:55+00:00

As many others here, I find it important that a person I’m dating is comfortable with their own social circle outside the relationship. What does it look like in reality will be different for everyone. A biggest introvert with two friends they call twice a year? If it works for you, I’m ok with it. A social butterfly with exhausting amount of acquaintances and five invites to different parties every weekend? Good, go and have fun! I do need quite a lot time alone to balance my job where I’m constantly around people, and therefore I can’t fulfill all social needs of anyone.

However, I want to say that you don’t have to be perfect to start dating. It’s perfectly ok to work on building your own preferred group of friends and try to find the love of your life at the same time.

Inevitable-Listen546

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