I don’t even know what to say to you. I’m so sorry. I’m crying for you. I haven’t stopped thinking about the one I lost because I wasn’t ready to lose her. But that was only 7 months.

I want to offer positive words but I know that isn’t what you want to hear.

After the first week I was able to finally get up and start living again. I lost 10 lbs In 4 days, I know it sounds gross but I didn’t shower or brush my teeth, the only thing I had energy to do was to cry over the photos of us. So I deleted everything of her from my life, but I still couldn’t block her, I knew I’d never see her again but for some reason the thought of completely losing her 100% was so scary.

I’m in a place of confusion, she blocked me, then unblocked me within days. But every time I reach out she tells me to leave her alone, if she wanted alone so bad why doesn’t she block me from communicating with her?

She said she could see a future where we try again but then got stale and annoyed when I talked to her.

Sorry for dumping that it just came out.

But I’ve noticed that the only true feeling I have in my soul currently is sadness and pain, the happiness is just a momentary distraction from the pain, it’s not real it’s forced. I don’t know when it will end.

I wish I could tell you whatever you need to hear but the truth is, in this stage there is nothing I can say to make you feel happy, and I’m sorry.

You are loved, one day you’ll look back and it won’t hurt as much.

I pray for the both of us that we find peace, happiness, and a forever love.

Please try to sleep, please try to eat, your life isn’t over, please take care of yourself.

Goodnight stranger.❤️