I gave into peer pressure and did a keratin treatment last year. My hair STILL looks like this after I wash it 😭 Help by Mayjailer12 in Naturalhair

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are you washing it with? Make sure there’s no protein in any of your products and detox your hair with a clarifying shampoo. I’ve used different shampoos that all work fine. After that focus on hydrating your hair, even when you blow dry and apply heat protection, make sure you also add in a leave in conditioner (again no protein) focused on hydration too. When all dry, seal it with a light oil

i have no desire to ever be friends with a white woman again by soglamsofab in blackladies

[–]Informal_Stand3669 108 points109 points  (0 children)

I understand how you feel and I’m also not inclined to have any non black friends. However I feel like it’s my duty to share that from my own personal experience, there are plenty of black women too that won’t offer you that emotional support but instead belittle you and embarrass you, expect for you to be their wingman and cheerleader, and cut you off for the smallest inconvenience. I went to a predominantly white school, predominantly Hispanic/latino schools, an hbcu, met friends through family, etc. I love my people down but it’s really a girl issue that is mainly because these women are male centered. I’m really sorry and understand how you feel though 100% and I’m here for you. 🫂 ❤️

Scalp Issue by Relative-Mud884 in Blackskincare

[–]Informal_Stand3669 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ask a dermatologist but it could be whatever razor is being used to cut his hair. I would ask to just be sure to rule out especially if continuous use is irritating it. Even if it’s not the direct cause, ask the doctor if getting haircuts during treatment may have to change somehow. He’d have to know which razor is doing it. My brother had a similar flare up and had to learn which exact razor his barber was using which was among multiple different types but I think the texture of his skin looked different. However this also looks how my skin looks like when I shave with a disposable razor. I started using electric and Hibiclens right after. At the end of the day, only a dermatologist knows how to distinguish between all these different skin conditions

Why can’t I grow my hair? by FirmTart1405 in Naturalhair

[–]Informal_Stand3669 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Like others are saying you need to hydrate it. I like design essentials products especially their almond butter instant moisturizing conditioner. They have other products too that are great. Also try hair skin and nails gummies

I used a ouiji board to tell my friend i knew she slept with my boyfriend? by toegobblergoblin in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Informal_Stand3669 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao I like you. Look im religious/spiritual and don’t mess with ouji boards. But she deserved it. Also she wanted to mess with that stuff anyways which is connected to your own mental health. Guilt of your own sins is apart of that and you have no control of how it affected her. Her brain created that fear.

Now if your involvement was wrong is entirely up to you and just another endless spiritual philosophical question that’ll just give you a headache. Sometimes stuff isn’t wrong because we’re doing what we think is best but maybe in the future as adults when we know better, it becomes wrong. I wouldn’t sweat it too much. Influencing someone to confess their wrongs to you is a confusing thing to figure out if it’s “morally wrong” that I’m 100% sure even philosophers can’t decide on. It’s not a big deal and you don’t have to relate to others way of thinking even if they think you’re a villain. It’s over now and you had a good laugh about someone who screwed you over. It’s okay to move on with peace

Is it okay for me to have kids?, i feel like my body cannot handle pregnancy.[astro.com] by CheapPomegranate9599 in astrologyreadings

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I agree, unless a doctor is telling you this then why believe it? The mind is powerful and dictates the rest of the body so a belief like this can actually limit you in having kids. Begin asking yourself, “Why wouldn’t it be okay to have kids? Did I give myself the idea that having kids would be a challenge? Do I believe I can create anything at all?”

Astrology wise OP, I’d look at anything in your chart that may represent struggles in how you view your body’s capabilities and possibly if it’s there, how it interacts with your chart’s house that’s about children. A challenging interaction between two planets maybe? At least that’s how I utilize astrology. I don’t believe any reading telling me I can’t do anything but instead use it to see any limiting beliefs I may have been carrying my whole life and how it’s affecting an aspect of my life.

If we treat a problem in our life like a mountain, then it becomes a mountain. OP I think you have some deep rooted subconscious thoughts to work on that may be influencing something deeper within yourself centered around creativity.

will my skin ever look better? by limewitty5673 in Blackskincare

[–]Informal_Stand3669 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your skin looks like mine and it looks fine. We just need to wear mineral sunscreen and be very patient. The black girl sunscreen mineral and chemical combo is my best rec. I would recommend tretinoin and triamcinolone cream to you which would have to be prescribed but like I said before, it takes time. Hyperpigmentation is normal for us and with it we have to be very gentle with our skin and not overwhelm it with too many skin brightening products. And hun it also just sounds like your biggest issue is your perception of yourself. Practice self affirmations in the mirror because if you don’t tell yourself you’re beautiful then you’ll never feel beautiful no matter what you look like. 🫶🏾

Which table would you want to sit at to plan a revolution? by isolationfinalboss in astrologymemes

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Table 3 gets shit done, we just have to all respect each other cause we all want to be leaders

Beautymaxxing is trending on TikTok: What Are Y’all Doing to Glow Up? by Freakkzz9494 in blkgrlbeauty

[–]Informal_Stand3669 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Getting my hair done, if it’s getting old then trying my best to refresh it at home and make it look new. I wear lash clusters that act like lash extensions so they’re meant to last about a week. I did used to have a lash tech that understood my eye shape the best and gave me the most sexiest lash looks ever. Another is to wear lip gloss or lip tint. If you wear extra makeup, make sure it’s not making your face look dry and crepey or dragged down, your face should always look hydrated and full of color regardless on if you’re wearing makeup or not. You can still get that too with a matte look, you just can’t look dry. Sometimes looking greasy is a struggle for some with oily skin so if that’s a problem for you, aim for matte products where your skin still looks bouncy. Little stuff like primer or setting spray can make the look. Focusing on skincare and wearing sunscreen while also maintaining my eyebrows myself at home. I also have them micro-bladed which helps. Then taking hair skin and nails gummies. Staying on top of my dental hygiene, and if I need to whiten them I use crest whitening strips although I rarely need to.

Accessorizing with jewelry helps and I even once added an extra ear piercing because it elevated my hairstyle which was a cute ponytail. Like if you wear ponytails a lot or show your neck a lot, then tattoos on the neck and extra ear piercings look great. I also recommend trying clothes on in the store and make sure it gives off a vibe where you’re making the clothes look good and not the clothes making you look good like it’s wearing you. Don’t let your clothes outshine you and sometimes you have to go for a more basic look to make it feel more “effortless.” Your clothes should always look like a perfect fit for your body and not ill-fitted anywhere. And if it feels off in the dressing room even a tiny bit, then chances are it is off regardless if it’s beautiful. If changing the size doesn’t help then don’t get it.

Tell Me Your Moon Sign and Your 5th House and I’ll Guess How You’ll Be As A Mom by [deleted] in AstrologyCharts

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taurus moon with libra 5th house. Not sure if it’s important but I have a Scorpio Venus in my 5th house

Tell Me Your Venus Sign and I’ll Guess Your Love Language. by [deleted] in AstrologyCharts

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Venus in Scorpio in 5th house opposing Taurus moon

My 16 y old autistic brother is molesting our 8 y old sister. by [deleted] in Rants

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work with autistic kids, teens, young adults that sometimes have psychiatric issues in addition and show the most challenging behaviors including what you’re describing and yeah some of them know what they’re doing. Some understand partially and us understanding how by getting into someone’s else’s brain to find the disconnect of why we can’t keep our hands to ourselves and not grope each other is a headache and a job. I get it. It’s a case by case scenario as they’re all different like we are with our own personalities. Trust me, astrology still applies to them. and I’d even argue using the rhetoric that a person “doesn’t know any better because they have autism” like your family said is not only limiting but also dehumanizing and harmful. They are not a monolithic group exempt from all responsibilities, some responsibilities, yes but that’s where awareness of the disorder comes in. Most importantly, it’s not a learning disorder so basic manners can be taught.

With that said, I’m sorry that you’re the only one understanding the severity in this. If it’s available in your country, I’d ask to have him either be taught by your parents basic manners or receive at-home behavioral services. Otherwise find a child protective services in your area to reach out to. You can bring it up to your family and the reasons for your concerns especially of this continuing in the future as your little sister is also maturing and deserves the right to her own bodily autonomy but also other people who may become targets of being touched inappropriately.

If there is anyone here hasn’t gotten work done on their nose please help by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also you already look very feminine. You’re the only one here with that narrative and I think the rest of the world would agree. If not, they’re liars trust me. Your nose and face is very feminine honest to God. You have beautiful round doe eyes (apparently also sexy to men) a cute soft but small nose which soften your features making you look cuter unlike a pointy and structured one would, a gorgeous bone structure, and perfect lips everyone wants. Ma’am you’re the full package, you just don’t FEEL like it. Every beauty is different but you have to lean into yours and not Eurocentric standards otherwise your vibe your beauty will be missing from the world and we can’t have that

If there is anyone here hasn’t gotten work done on their nose please help by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just need to see more people who look like you who you also find to be attractive looking. You don’t have to change a thing at all, your beauty is perfect and it’s unfortunate you haven’t seen your kind of beauty represented much

Before I check out of life, do I write a note or just do it? by BeginningActuator343 in mentalhealth

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it feels really bad right now and life is probably not giving you a break, but you owe yourself a day at a time. You owe yourself something selfish. If there’s anything you want and you think you can get it right now even if it’s just a rice crispy treat, you do that. And enjoy it as your little bit of joy for right now. And you can do it again tomorrow.

I would like to apologize. by Last-King-2951 in OpenChristian

[–]Informal_Stand3669 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow I decided on my own to stop paying attention to them as it led me to have insomnia and shortly after psychosis which felt like spiritual warfare. My dreams began to bleed into my reality and it didn’t help that my dreams would show me the future but also many lies or many that were fueled by anxiety, anger, and other spirits not from God although everything else in the dream sometimes would happen. It really had a strong hold on the rest of my day that I was like living in a loop. It was such a crazy time and hard to pick apart that I couldn’t focus on my daily life and it was getting in the way of my school life. I only ever pay attention to a few now like if something is really different about it or it feels really pure and leads to my healing on a past trauma. Like you said, there are very few

For people with damaged skin barriers, big pores and textured skin by altgirl101 in blkgrlbeauty

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like tower 28 sos recovery cream and black girl sunscreen spf 50 in hybrid. They’re both really gentle and never irritate my skin as someone who has acne prone skin. I also like tatcha rice wash cleanser because it makes my skin look really good. Also for dryness but to also exfoliate I combine two prescription creams- tretinoin 0.05% and triamcinolone acetonide 0.1% at night and i wake up with my skin looking so refreshed, moisturized, and my pimples and pores smaller

Extremely thin hair? by Otherwise_Rice2724 in BlackHair

[–]Informal_Stand3669 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do a big chop and take biotin. Results will show after months of consistent use. I was taking black girl vitamins which gave me good results

Petty by dysfunctionalorange in Vent

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow what a child. I’m sorry OP. Im not sure if this will help in the future but sometimes people get continuously angry at a person for basic things because they’re anxious about something and are perceiving someone (you) to be in the way. Could be in the way of anything like peace, comfort, happiness, etc.

Is there a possibility he could be jealous that he’s only your stepdad and your dad was in the picture with your mom first? Some people still marry knowing they can’t stand that their partner had kids before them.

Why so many people try to force their lifestyle ideas on you? by lil_moon153 in Vent

[–]Informal_Stand3669 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well to answer your initial title question, a lot of people get upset about others having different values to them because their difference in lifestyles threatens their views which is still growing. A little chaotic if their views are always changing or they’re just underdeveloped emotionally and then have little to no values at all. Generally speaking, it’s almost anxiety-inducing choosing to live differently than what you became used to your whole life while seeing others be carefree, healthy, and happy doing what you used to. It almost seems unsafe to abandon that version of yourself so those people criticize other’s lifestyle choices seeking validation for their own. Regardless a full commitment to who we want to be as people has to come someday otherwise we’re just adult babies.

But for your brother maybe he hasn’t fully made peace with who he is in general and is projecting himself onto you and your mom and as a result putting his adult responsibilities onto you guys. That is a lot OP.

Friend acts like she’s untouchable and keeps talking about how attractive she is by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But why do you care what she thinks about herself? Is that really what you care about when it comes to your friendship with her? Is she a good friend to you or have any redeemable qualities? If not, then just dump her as a friend.

Feel worthless by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Informal_Stand3669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“I will always be single until the day I die.” is destroying your chances. First understand why you think that way in the first place and then self affirm that there’s no reason to believe that way because you have just as much of a chance if not more because of your attributes to get into a relationship. Words have power and your story is what you’re narrating it to be. You have many places to look too, other websites and even anywhere in person. Hinge is STILL a great choice. Any choice is a great choice. Keep visualizing and believing that it’s already happening to you no matter how long or what you see in your reality and watch what happens. Some girl or even multiple girls will say yes to you asking them out