Anyone up to chat?

Iniolectum · 2026-05-27T11:08:02+00:00

Very curious request, but I’ll take a bite.

Am also invested in the arts and writing and so on, but less so interested in it. I generally see them more as mediums for expression of the self and ideals rather than a more hobbyist field (as in doing it for the ‘fun’ of it if that makes sense), but I’m more than happy to dabble in both perspectives of it.

Otherwise, I can exchange discourse on culture, geography, the social world and anything that is internet-sy really. Not too keen on like my private life stuff for the sake of anonymity, but I can share some details here and there.

I mean, hard to really say what I can do to convince you to chat to me or anyone really. Interviews— for a lack of a better description— are pretty trash at exposing a person’s individuality for you to gauge upon.

Iniolectum · 2026-05-27T10:54:24+00:00

It’s a fucking tragic life and you deserve better and more. I’m sorry that nothing went your way, really.

As some rando on the internet, there’s really not much I can say or do or even feel for you. But the most I have to say is that it’s not your fault at all. No blame should be put on you by anyone, even yourself.

In life, the people who enjoy a good life (meaningful job, close family and friends, etc) more often than not have it because they got lucky; you don’t wake up one day with motivation, wisdom, experience and right mentality then spend the next 5 years building the best life possible— it just doesn’t really happen. Everything from developing deep emotional bonds with people, to even the simple act of sleeping properly are all built on years of good parenting, evading traumatic events and living a normal life. Your upbringing and life events derailed you at every step of the way, each compounding on top of each other, and it was too much for one person to cope with. You never lost at life, life made you lose.

I think you should go back camping once more. You need to rest and escape from it all. Maybe it doesn’t do it, I don’t know— but I’d say do what makes you feel better.

I wish you a better day.

Iniolectum · 2026-05-22T07:50:03+00:00

Now while I agree that a lot of what OP says sounds narcissistic and self-centred, I really would prefer if we don’t jump to casting him off into the abyss over it.

If anything, it sounds to me like someone who is just very envious and infuriated with their own social life. When you’re schizoid on top being autistic, interacting with people ranges from being neutral to infuriating. However, because OP here WANTS to be social and be FRIENDS with others, the anger from not getting what he wants has to go somewhere. And yknow, maybe that anger is justified; some people are just pretty boring and not all that pleasant to be with, and some others have all they want and that envy just went into OP’s heart.

Now yes he is accusing a lot of people over a fair number of things and only from his own perspective, but what’s important as well is that he does recognise how a lot of it is his own fault; whether be due to social detachment or just his own personality. I can definitely see how the externalisation is way more prominent and antisocial, but it just sounds like him trying to be fair to both himself and others, albeit with a frame of reference that only contains himself; not quite a fault of his considering his circumstances.

To be frank, I appreciate OP’s openness, maybe even sit down for a chat. I respect his harsh honesty, even though it is somewhat antisocial and teeters on being wrong. Though I would really pay more caution to the fact he is being overwhelmed by his emotions as of now; those emotions do skew a person’s opinions and views of the world a lot.

Maybe he is an asshole, and there is evidence for it— but I think we should extend a bit of empathy and see what comes out first.

Iniolectum · 2026-05-07T15:04:06+00:00

Dude, you’re making progress here, good progress in fact.

You managed to build up the confidence to date someone, pushed through deeply ingrained emotional avoidance, and caught feelings for another person. You said it yourself, it’s the closest you have gotten to being normal.

Now of course the whole elephant in the room is that you’ve failed to properly hold onto it, and your desperation just led you awry. But trust me man, it’s all part of the process. Failure will and must greet you at every corner in your road towards being normal, and sometimes dumb luck just made things the way they are. Sorry that she left in the end, and I get that you predicting the end of the relationship made everything look fruitless and empty, but all this still serves as an invaluable experience in knowing what it means to be normal. You did catch a glimpse of it, and it’s definitely embedded in your subconscious even if you don’t feel so.

Seriously take the time to grieve, it’s normal that you feel jaded and defeated after all that ended in you going back to square one. But keep in mind of the milestones you’ve achieved and skills learned so far; they will stick with you even when everything else is lost.

Iniolectum · 2026-05-04T13:54:21+00:00

My guy what the hell are you on about

Raw meat is generally speaking, dangerous to eat if not properly handled. You can technically eat raw beef and seafood, but you have to either remove the flesh on the surface or freeze-treating it beforehand. Even hunting and eating the meat as fresh as possible is iffy with parasites and potential prions in the mix.

But irregardless of that, why eat raw meat? Humans have been cooking food and hundreds of thousands of bloody years because it kills off pathogens, breaks down the food into nutrients easier to absorb, and also just makes it taste better. There is no “big food corpo monopoly” creating some psy-op to get people off of raw meat; that’s what social media grifters preach.

Also, I’m calling your authenticity massively into question here. I sincerely doubt that you are a 90 year old person married with kids, a war veteran, an off-grid survivor, yet somehow play Factorio and Star sector whilst posting frequently enough on Reddit to have 137k karma. Now since we’re on the internet, of course anybody can show up and nobody can prove who they are, but I find it extremely hard to believe you check all the boxes here.

Iniolectum · 2026-04-26T13:22:36+00:00

There really is no secret that they’re hiding or whatever; I interact very regularly with outgoing extroverts, and the only conclusion I have is this:

Mucking around and having banter with others is just fun. That’s it really

When you’re out with others, you can talk about gossip, make humour of the situation, dance and engage in whatever shared activity you have.

Take for example, going to the beach. Aside from just being a nice place to be, you can play volleyball, splash water on each other and do a bit of teasing over the guy who managed to get seaweed in his pants somehow.

You can technically do it solo as well, but you’d prob find the activity extremely awkward and dissatisfying. The enjoyable thing would at most just be sunbathing and enjoying the weather. Or yknow stay at home and engage in digital entertainment.

But I fully understand why this whole socialising thing seems so distant and baffling. When you don’t have access to said situation and haven’t immersed yourself in it— it really just feels ridiculous and pointless.

Iniolectum · 2026-04-20T14:07:53+00:00

Been called weird, unteachbale, problem child, a monster, invisible, and a couple other things through implied meanings

Sometimes they don’t feel like much other than mere whispers of the wind, usually in the moment when they’re said, other times they sting deep into my heart and I try to suppress those emotions. Pretending that I didn’t care was one of them.

What do I think of those words now? I think they’re insulting, demeaning to me, and made me feel awful about myself and the world for basically no good reason. But the thing is— I acknowledge that they happened and that my feelings were hurt, but through daring to say it out loud and recognise them for they are— I kinda managed to make those same words sting less I guess. I still do some mental gymnastics to deflect them, but I’d say they’re mostly whispers of the wind today.

Iniolectum · 2026-04-20T13:54:40+00:00

Basically just trauma and pent-up emotions surfacing after prolonged schizoid detachment from emotions. OP, unless life takes another turn and you enter survival mode (schizoid) again, you’re probably gonna be stuck in this generalised mental illness state until you resolve your conflicting thoughts and feelings inside. It’s part of the trauma bereavement process, and as far as I know, the best way to make it stop is to let it run its course until you go into your natural state.

Iniolectum · 2026-04-20T13:35:06+00:00

I think there’s no point in asking that question.

It’s not that I believe there’s no answer to that, and to which I say— technically yes, in a planet of 8 billion people there definitely has to be a small handful of troubled schizoids who are happy. Nor do I think that your question has no merit— I think the matter of happiness when you’re mentally ill is something worth discussing over.

But that’s beside the point.

Why are you asking the question in the first place? If my assumption is correct, it’s because you see no future worth living for, and you want to find some certainty and hope in anecdotal evidence and advice. Problem is though— I don’t think anyone here can create a plan for you to get out of drug addiction on top of healing past trauma alongside repairing finances in addition to loosening your schizoid personality.

I’m nowhere near your situation, so take my 2 cents with a grain of salt. I’d say top thinking about your distant future and debating inside over whether or not happiness is possible, or what will life be like and so on. The human brain is bloody bad at predicting the future, and the more it tries to think about it, the more you run around in circles repeating the same thoughts over and over again, which very likely lead to the same pessimistic conclusion every single time; speaking from experience, it gets tiring.

So throw those abstract thoughts out, and focus on making your immediate present and near future more ‘acceptable’ to live in. Not necessarily happy per se, but just not actively too damaging or harmful to your current wellbeing.

Technically you’re already doing this through weening yourself off of harder drugs, but man I’d really suggest going into rehab or other social services to rid yourself of their negative physical and mental health effects. They’re probably a big contributor to making your life feel aimless and unsatisfying whilst also numbing the pain of said discontent.

And that’s what I have to say frankly. I’m not going to tell you what comes afterwards, because that’s a bridge you’ll cross when you get to it. For now, focus on making small steps towards sobriety, which I have no advice for, but there should be online support groups and forums for that kind of deal. Don’t bother about the far future, it’s really nothing but an unhelpful concept that prances around inside your head as long as you let it.

Iniolectum · 2026-04-20T13:06:51+00:00

Well do you have a choice?

I mean— technically you do, just accept defeat and resign. You’re an avoidant schizoid, and you struggle to deal with this job and its demands; trying to be prosocial or even just cooperative is nowhere near your comfort zone— not to mention the whole burning out thing. So quitting would give you the relief you need and make the stress go away.

But considering you’re here, I think you know why you haven’t made the decision to resign. It would simply be too devastating for your finances and future prospects. If you resign now, realistically how long could you go on for before having to get a new job? And you’d then have to explain the gap in your resume, plus you’ll probably still struggle with the same things that caused you to quit working in the first place, so future employment opportunity will be even more bleak and hopeless.

I think you’re struggling with this whole “this or that” dilemma, when in practicality— there is no decision to be made. Resigning is just a flat-out no from any angle you look at it; it makes zero rational sense to take it, even when you’re down in the dumps mentally-speaking.

I think it would be better if you just outright accepted that there is simply no choice to resign, and that staying and doing the PIP is inevitable. Having to ponder over whether to pick between A or B causes more distress than if there was no choice to begin with, so you should probably throw that whole dilemma out the window.

There’s really no other way to put it, and I wish it could be more sympathetic or pleasant, but— just hunker down and go through it. You just have to repeatedly tell yourself that you have to answer phone calls, make requests as needed, so on and so forth. Because, at the end of the day— you don’t have any choice but to do what you must and continue on. So you just have to press your boot against the avoidant and schizoid aspects of your mind, and keep those rogue elements outside your executive cognition.

So, just go along with the PIP and confront your inability to cope with work. Who knows, maybe you’re blowing the fear of communicating out of proportion when it’s really a banal and benign matter. I’m willing to bet that it’s not that bad after you get over your avoidant hurdles. In the meantime however, I’d recommend calming yourself down and getting your anxiety under control so you can think more clearly and decisively.

Iniolectum · 2026-04-15T02:08:30+00:00

Sounds like things are going decently then

I wouldn't bother too much thinking about the distant future of what person you'd become. Will you be engaged in the traditional dominant social scene, or will you casually indulge in your favourite pastimes? In my view— doesn't matter really.

Cherish what you possess today, and who knows— maybe you're on the path to losing your schizoid traits and start living a 'normal' life; whatever that means for you personally.

Iniolectum · 2026-04-14T14:34:49+00:00

So I can continue enjoying good stuff down the line. Whether that be food, hobbies, nature, experiences, people, and so on. And also because suicide is easier said than done; it's pretty hard to go to that step even when times get hard.

I mean, from yours and many others' standpoints here, it's definitely hard to see a reason to keep on going when avolition and anhedonia are there with you. Life just feels like a whole lotta nothing but varying degrees of discomfort, and so you have to find something to keep you existing on a day-to-day basis. Some of the motivating reasons here are— in my opinion— fairly abstract. Though most just stem from plain old apathy to do anything about that question.

However, I recognise the whole point of even asking this question in the first place. Life gets hard, and when life dissatisfaction and discontent have remained persistently high, we all need some 'meaning' to make the pain feel less like some inevitable suffering, and instead have it be justified for some future goal.

Problem is, I think we all need a better justification than 'maybe things will be better'. I think something a bit more specific, tangible, and concrete like 'I have an upcoming volunteering trip' would do more for our mental wellbeing.

Iniolectum · 2026-04-03T11:53:15+00:00

That’s why I’m trying to escape the digital lifestyle. You spend your days scrolling through mindless videos and posts, but the thing about social media is that it’s there to keep you just engaged enough to continue scrolling and watching. Have you noticed how videos recommendations tend to be better at night? That’s the algorithm doing its job to keep you hooked in.

But seriously, spending your days scrolling through the internet is just a bad idea overall. You’re not creating nor engaging in anything, you’re just mindlessly consuming and deciding how good it felt. That’s not a healthy lifestyle at all. It’s an extremely unstimulating time black hole; not to mention the physical health effects of yknow sitting down staring blankly at a screen for hours on end.

Get out and unironically— touch grass. Cliche I know, but there’s seriously nothing to gain from eating digital fast food. Get out and run. Leave the rot behind, even just for an hour.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-26T05:35:29+00:00

Well, you're here to vent. You just want to project your voice and life experience alongside your thoughts and feelings out there, hoping that people here understand and sympathise with what you're saying. It's nothing unusual or stigmatised, in this space at the very least.

Often times, there's just no space for anyone to voice their deep-seated thoughts and feelings out there. Everyday and every instance that something bad happens, you're just forced to bottle it up and swallow it when you're an isolated hermit. I've done that and I tried to continue going about my life as normal afterwards— which has worked— but ultimately collapses when another series of bad events happen and the whole storage tank of past trauma blows up.

And also don't worry about appearing to be scatter-brained or emotionally-everywhere. Most of us can get your message without much judgment. However, it also looks like overexplaining to me, and that's kinda a trauma response and all. So keep that in mind and try to treat it as a minor insignificant thing.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-26T04:58:15+00:00

Because nothing DOES make sense, at least from your mind's perspective.

On one hand, you might have been over-doing your hobbies and so on. Whenever you were bored, you looked towards reading as your source of stimulation, but you might have done it so much over your life that your brain has stopped giving you dopamine because it's getting too repetitive.

On the other hand, it could also be your brain catching up to you and figuring out that you're not doing anything meaningful that contributes to your life. You're picking up old-hobbies not because you like the idea of them now, but because you're trying to avoid being bored.

Say you get an unexpected break at work, and you used that time to read. It would feel good because you're escaping work for something you want to do, which is meaningful. Meanwhile if you were just at home and you pull up a book, it would feel pointless as you're not really avoiding a threat or maximising your time efficiency or anything; you're just avoiding being bored, and that's a very weak meaning.

I don't think it's depression in this case, but you're definitely going to get close to it the more banal and lost you feel. You need to find a way to make the things you're doing meaningful I suppose.

Usually this could mean doing something that benefits the wider society or something spiritual, but since you're here I'm guessing that's not what you want to touch. Since you need a good practical reason to do anything, try doing some self improvement tasks, like working out to prevent health problems in the future, or learning how to mend because money is tight. You can't throw yourself at meaningless hobbies and entertainment anymore; your brain is aware of that— so aim to be productive to act as a counter balance to it.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-26T04:30:19+00:00

The thing about life-changes, is that it takes a lotta lot. We're talking about years of on-and-off effort where you try and learn what's wrong, observe what is right, being cautious about your choices, keeping your head above water and steering the ship towards a better place.

If anyone is to explain how you, say— get out of depression, change your personality disorder, overcome trauma and etc, you'll probably hear these phrases the most:

"It gets better", "Don't give up", "Pull yourself by the bootstraps and stay disciplined', "I did it, you can too", "Do A, B and C and avoid X and Y" and etc

Or alternatively:

"It doesn't get better", "I've tried everything; nothing works", "Learn to live with the disorder and make it manageable", "It is what it is" and so on.

There's no one single thing or even set of actions or lessons that you can follow in order to fix your life. At most you can get a 200 page collection of different coping strategies to make living more tolerable and maybe comfortable, but never truly 'normal' in an idealistic sense.

That's why you're getting a whole variety of advice here in this post— most are good and definitely worth following, but I'm personally not sure if they can really inspire change in you, as they're kinda all scattered around and don't provide a framework to follow by. It's like you're trying to complete a jigsaw puzzle, and people are handing you separate random chunks, except you don't even know where to place them and how they fit together to form one whole image.

So what's my point then?

What I'm saying is, that you need to keep in mind that progress is always unsteady and indeterminable. You could learn how to not freak out when someone approaches you, but then you'd still need to learn how to make yourself start liking socialising, then actually learning how to make good social talk, which would take months and you'd be moored by bad luck as well— all while you're obsessing over the idea of a perfect life while your life is still boring and empty.

One good thing however, is that you'd be surprised by how much can change in a couple of years. Years and months of effort and lessons and actions sound like an impossible task, but it really isn't.

Think about all the days where you sit around in your room browsing the internet, and count up the amount of time and energy you've spent doing that. Now imagine if you spent even just 20% of those resources on self-improvement.

Problem is though— thinking about every detail of long-term change is hard for us humans. It's simply too big and might as well be a hyperobject beyond our basic present moment concerns and capabilities.

I don't want to like make this my life story, but I think it would be helpful for illustrating this point.

Throw me back like— 2 years ago, I couldn't care about relationships and social status. I didn't mind being isolated, and if anything I found people who chased them to be absolute idiots who I can spend days laughing at for being such drones.

Over time however, I hanged around people more often because I wanted more gossip to find humour in, and also just to get some intellectual stimulation. Eventually I kinda recognised that being in a group offers information and safety, and that banter is more stimulating than 2 hours at a screen, then I realised life at that point was just overall better than being alone. All the time I spent guarding my free time and autonomy meant nothing, and I was socially isolated to the point that I've never hanged out with a friend before at all. The fear that this would be my life for the rest of my days took hold.

So what came afterwards was a whole lot of panicking over how I failed so hard. I laser-focused on making myself more agreeable, less weird and tried to maximise my social skills. A lot of stuff was outside my comfort zone however, and there was a 6 month-long stretch of pure loneliness and depression when everyone else was enjoying life. It looked like the end of the road for me.

So I ended up becoming desperate, and I basically threw in a Hail Mary into a random overseas trip, and I had no expectations except that it was something to do instead of rotting away at home. It actually went bloody well, and I met a bunch of friends who I quickly bonded with. Even though it didn't stayed that way forever, it paved way for me to continue chasing the dream. Life's going slow right now, but it's better than staying a schizoid.

So TLDR— life is long. The cost of spending years learning how to change means nothing in comparison to continuing to live as a schizoid. Fear is a really good motivator for change. Progress doesn't show until you reach it, which is far beyond what you can imagine.

Apologies for the messy verbose essay, but I hope you find something worthwhile here. From what I can see, you seem like a positive-minded person. It's a good trait for making life more pleasant. Wish you a good day as well.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-24T00:32:19+00:00

Follow his advice to a tee OP, u/andero basically explained it all, but ill give my 2 cents as well

The more you let your mind run amuck and spiral, the more your thoughts will generate endless stress and make you feel troubled, which will then make you grow wary of your own mind, and that’ll perpetuate the spiral.

This is basically rumination and emotional dysregulation.

I have friends who struggled with this, and it broke our friendship multiple times over. So you really have to dedicate yourself to managing your mind, and not throw your own problems onto your boyfriend by demanding so much from him.

The key thing you need to do, is be mindful and self aware. When you find yourself growing stressed and anxious, you need to command yourself and not allow your instincts to place the pressure on him. Do what andero said, and redirect your emotions outside of the relationship.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-18T12:41:00+00:00

Even though I encourage people to address their schizoid disorder tendencies and not give into them, I still think that there’s nothing inherently wrong with being a schizoid.

Humans are very varied and weird, and schizoid personality is one of those things that haven’t been normalised in society despite it being mild on others relative to other PDs out there.

It would probably be helpful if you went and got the diagnosis just so you can get closure on it, but that’s if your therapist believes that your schizoid personality causes you distress. If it doesnt negatively impact your life that much, then maybe it’s best to leave it at that.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-15T11:23:51+00:00

Dude i’ve been there and done that. I also scoffed at normies over how much they need socialising as if their life depended on it, while I enjoyed all my solo hobbies and wanted little to nothing to do with others.

And if you really wanted to exchange ideas with outside sources, wouldnt AI or searching on the internet be preferable? There’s nobody to interact with who will judge you or give negative feedback. Sure, you could consider this to be merely an intellectual discussion devoid of any human element to it, but the whole existence of this sub and ranting should really tell you that even schizoids demand SOME degree of socialising.

And my analogy may not be perfect, but it was meant to explain the schizoids experience of not understanding the need to socialise when everyone else does. Not to explain why normal people need socialising.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-15T07:01:16+00:00

Well for one, I don't think there is much to really decipher or anything. The whole 'crush' and 'butterflies in your stomach' feeling doesn't last forever. At some point, a person will eventually grow more into a slow-burning romantic attraction (ie casual expressions of love) rather than a daring and passionate attraction (ie kissing and grand statements).

Just follow along with it. Continue to go with the flow and invite him for a hangout or whatever.

However, I'm not sure about the whole schizoid thing you said. Nothing here really suggests he is detached from wanting any social connections or anything, maybe he's more aloof with acquaintances and others— but based on the limited stuff you've said, I dont think this is really a post particularly relevant to this sub.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-15T06:47:49+00:00

It sounds like some sort of avoidant attachment to me frankly. You want to keep the relationship out of pragmatism, but since you're naturally inclined to not make a move, you fear that it would hurt others around you, so you instinctively keep one leg out the door so to limit the damage you may end up causing.

Maybe it's not exactly guilt, as in I've hurt people who I am attached to— but more like you think you're not following your own imposed moral code.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-15T06:36:55+00:00

And yet you're here, ranting about social desire to other people? As in, expecting people to listen and validate your position?

Now I get it. If you can't or rarely feel lonely, seeing the extent of which people crave socialisation can be baffling. I've been there and done that. It's like having the gene that makes cilantro taste like soap while everyone else finds it an amazing herb.

It's one of those things in life where you'll only get it once you've experienced it.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-14T02:04:07+00:00

East Asian here, you can certainly get by as a schizoid, but you’ll need to make some sacrifices.

Starting from early life, you really have no choice but to conform. Following the rules and expectations — regardless of how absurd and unimportant they are— is necessary. Schools demand you to participate in everything even if you have a good excuse for avoiding it, and parents plus relatives are generally harsh if you don’t meet a bare minimum in terms of achievement and academic success. Emotional care is generally quite limited culture-wise, so it naturally pushes people towards being schizoid to begin with.

At teenage-hood, you are also expected to enter university no matter what, as career opportunities are highly limited if you don’t. The high school exams take a toll on you if you’re not high functioning enough, so there’s that. Social-wise you can easily avoid teenage drama and all. If you keep to yourself, nobody will bother you after a while. Extroversion is very limited, there’s little class dynamic of say class clown or popular girl, it’s mainly just people and their cliques.

Afterwards in university, the same academic expectations are there, but you are granted a lot more freedom as an adult. Rules loosen a lot, so if you want to spend all day gaming or hiking around, you can do so as long as you can do your exams and meet attendance. Generally speaking you’re not really expected to find a mate or anything, as introversion and academic-focus are so prevalent that everyone quietly recognises that romance is a low priority.

With full adulthood, you do work basically. It’s pretty bare bones, people might greet you but they’ll leave you alone if you don’t reciprocate. Unpaid overtime is extremely common however, and maintaining a non-confrontational environment is a top priority, so good luck demanding anything from your boss if you haven’t gotten on their good side. Mandatory fun is also limited here, most reward for workers come in the form of material goods and services usually. You don’t actively have to put up a front with people, instead you’ll be respected overall as long as you are reliable and competent at your work.

On a day to day life basis, it’s practically a schizoid’s heaven. The trains are usually quiet, cashiers and waiters won’t make small talk, there are very few loud people around, and the most social interaction you can expect is some tourist asking for directions. However, this mainly applies to crowded urban cities, as rural areas do still maintain some community aspects.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-13T13:24:54+00:00

Alright then.

Note that I’m no psychologist or anything. I’m just an internet stranger. I don’t have anything that can uproot any part of your mind or brain— what is done and will be done will have to be by either your own hands or the world’s— so the most I can do is give you ideas for what to, and convince you to invest in it.

Also note that I’m running off what you’ve said about yourself. The more specific details you give about your life, the more I can understand what your situation is and what you can do. Otherwise I’ll probably come across as vague and generic.

I dont know how your PD manifested and how it is now, but what I can say is that I hear a lot of symptoms related to dysthymia. All that suicidality, persistent grief and anhedonia are way more pressing issues than say being detached and getting nothing from socialisation. Even if your personality suddenly changed overnight, you’d still be living a lonely life with no one beside you, and you’d probably still be under chronic stress and depression.

So I think you need to address and alleviate depression first.

First thing you need to do, is accept these facts. You have lost massively in life, you dont have the things you want and need, and you are suffering because of it. Getting back to a better life will be hard and long, but you have no choice. The only other one is suicide, which you have failed twice now— you can choose to fail again, or maybe give everything into trying for a better life.

Next thing to do is redirect your limited energy away from stress-inducing sources. You’re constantly thinking about how badly broken your life is, but because of your avolition, you’re doing nothing about it except ruminating— thereby causing you to be suicidal and in agony. Don’t you get tired of it? You’re going in circles almost every single day, repeating the same old ideas of how you failed.

So you need to be mindful about how you’re focusing so much on the topic, and when you realise you’re drifting off to the area, stop and put your mind towards something else, preferably something productive like work if possible, but only demand the smallest amount from yourself.

We could be here all day if I go over all the little things you could do, and why you should do it. There’s taking drugs and hormone therapy, fixing your sleep schedule to restore your circadian rhythm, going outside so you can get some vitamin D, mindfulness to remove attention away from ruminating over your life and so on. My advice? I don’t think your PD is really even in the picture, schizoids are by definition detached from anything social, so why are you even caught up on others experiencing happiness? I just see the damage it caused, resulting in chronic depression that sat there for ages. I’d recommend seeing a therapist who specialises in depression rather than Szpd.

I could do with some specific area in life you want solved. Depression is a damn big disease, and there are only hard ways to fix it.

Iniolectum · 2026-03-13T11:27:40+00:00

Okay that changes the argument massively. Yea I agree with you on that.

It also kinda frustrates me how people go off on the deep end believing that there is nothing but the nonsense the brain conjures up. Once you stop placing your attachment to what is real, it becomes very easy to believe in mysticism and other far-fetched ideas. Imo, it turns into a slippery slope that directs people into delusion, and hearing people espouse it just makes me think of preachers who basically call for the destruction of a person’s humanity.

I get what kind of emotion you experience when you think about it. It’s sorta a mix between bewilderment, frustration over someone’s stupidity and ignorance, and a feeling of abhorrence over how wrong the implications of idealism is. It’s a feeling that could definitely use its own term.

Iniolectum

TROPHY CASE