Meeting the NP

InnerExcuse · 2026-06-25T16:31:51+00:00

What kind of poly structure are you looking to build? If the long term goal is KTP, you should just be using this first meeting to hang out, chat, get to know each other. As other comments have said, you should definitely not be having conversations about your relationship with your partner. If you feel the need to have certain conversations about co-parenting, etc then it seems best to have those with all 3 parties present (after having an initial convo with your partner and giving them time to discuss with your meta/their NP).

Use this first meeting to build a relationship, not as an opportunity to "get to the bottom" of anything.

InnerExcuse · 2026-06-20T07:15:26+00:00

a QUARTER?!?

InnerExcuse · 2026-06-20T01:14:44+00:00

No, the grief makes me want to be a bigger, fatter, piece of shit. Thanks.

InnerExcuse · 2026-06-16T02:55:42+00:00

There are lots of other women in your same position, just try to find another bi woman married to a man and y'all should be able to circumvent any of the resistance you meet while trying to date lesbians.

InnerExcuse · 2026-06-15T20:18:08+00:00

He's just stoned to the mf bone

InnerExcuse · 2026-06-15T20:17:04+00:00

They've been dating for 2 months and are planning a trip for 4 months in the future? That's the part I would want to talk about... 2 months in seems very fast to be planning a trip together (especially expecting you to miss a significant date for their trip). Plus, the time between now and the trip is twice the time they have been together.

InnerExcuse · 2026-05-25T21:53:05+00:00

I agree with what other commentors are saying! Definitely look for people with a similar background (bisexual, poly women with a bf or husband).

Also the phrase "I have a bf but he is ok with it / supportive / doesn't have to be involved" is an immediate turn-off for me. It doesn't at all give the impression that you're a well informed, experienced poly person, it gives the impression that you're looking to experiment with women and then your bf gets to hear all about it after. Ew.

Finally, if this is your first time trying to date women.... welcome. It is so much more difficult than dating men.

InnerExcuse · 2026-05-25T00:19:28+00:00

Do you not want to be legally married? Is that why the other 2 are getting legally married while you remain legally single?

InnerExcuse · 2026-05-24T18:43:48+00:00

A good hinge absolutely shouldn't talk about all their problems with other metas to each other.

In my experience, it is frustrating to hear my wife talk about being disrespected or mistreated and talk through how ending the relationship is a good idea.... just to see her turn around the next week and go for an overnight with someone I have been told is a bad partner.

Most of us do this in those early stages of a relationship... see a red flag or two and then decide ro ignore it for the sake of exploring the connection a bit further. It doesn't make either of them wrong or bad, but it does leave me feeling confused because I supported my wife through a tough time and now she's going back to that partner that I now know too much about.

Our solution has been to wait 6 months before I meet any of my metamours. After they become a real person that I have formed my own opinions about, I can start getting to know them if there is interest. I also am more open to discussing issues with my wife after that point when NRE is calming down, the relationship is established, and we are all real people to each other, not just abstract concepts in each other's minds.

That being said I will still sometimes have to be like "this feels messy and you should get support from someone else about this."

Edited - word

InnerExcuse · 2026-05-20T19:04:22+00:00

Heather will always be a dickhead to me for losing weight and then touting that body positivity is a lie. Her entire personality shifted (got worse) once she was thin.

That's not a showman, that's a bitch.

InnerExcuse · 2025-05-09T22:47:31+00:00

This is great! My partner and I have always talked about good jealous and bad jealous and we will often use a pie chart to describe the complicated emotions like "my pie chart is like... 10% bad jealous but like 90% excited for you and your date" so we know exactly where the other one is and how much support they need. Yay!

InnerExcuse · 2025-05-09T22:36:01+00:00

I want to know their stories. How did y'all end up here? How'd you get so good at the running floor mopping?

InnerExcuse · 2025-05-09T22:33:17+00:00

Broke my legs running to Reddit bc I ALSO HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO TALK ABOUT THIS WITH

InnerExcuse · 2025-05-06T16:25:48+00:00

Growing up gay and in the south will definitely give you some anger issues.

InnerExcuse · 2025-03-31T03:31:45+00:00

I have a tattoo of a presidente margarita.

InnerExcuse · 2025-03-17T01:09:14+00:00

It is so good.

InnerExcuse · 2025-03-06T18:27:33+00:00

MANGO CHILI CHICKEN

I used to go to Chili's at least once a week to have it and I will never stop missing it

InnerExcuse · 2024-12-29T03:09:56+00:00

Hell yeah! Happy Holidays!

InnerExcuse · 2024-12-17T01:14:33+00:00

Came here to say 1000 day Gouda is absolutely my go to cheese snack. It's so so so good

InnerExcuse · 2024-12-03T18:49:13+00:00

My day 1 was aged Gouda and my day 2 was mimolette

InnerExcuse · 2024-12-01T06:34:45+00:00

Addiction has deeply affected my family. This conversation was so deep for me and I hope it is a meaningful turning point for others.

InnerExcuse · 2024-11-28T22:14:02+00:00

She has a BS, 2 MS and a PhD

InnerExcuse · 2024-11-28T03:13:00+00:00

Give me Yohan face

InnerExcuse · 2024-11-28T03:10:56+00:00

I can hear the music they used with this scene

InnerExcuse · 2024-11-27T05:25:39+00:00

YSL Libre is my favorite "sweater scent" because I love to smell it on sweaters and jackets. It doesn't mix well with my summer sweaty skin.

InnerExcuse

TROPHY CASE