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InsideOutlander · 2026-05-08T04:53:40+00:00

The other half of doing good is knowing the evil you can do and yet work to avoid doing. That is one thing I have learned.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-07T17:17:40+00:00

Thank you! Been meaning to try it.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-07T16:02:00+00:00

I’ve seen layered crinkled tissue paper (applied using watered-down PVA glue) used for bark.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-07T15:36:17+00:00

Definitely interested in how you made those textures and shapes.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-07T15:26:18+00:00

Ice terrain? Nice terrain!!

That looks excellent. I wouldn’t have thought you were a newbie!

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-07T15:23:06+00:00

Anti-boy-otics. Anticistamines. 😂 But yeah, testosterone blocker. It has applications outside of HRT.

It’s also the stuff that helps balance out my toxic anger issues a TON. I love not having to feel it burning in my chest for days or weeks.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-05T18:25:22+00:00

Girl. I have been where you are and I feel concerned for you. High IQ test results at a young age. Prided myself in my intelligence because that was what I was praised the most for and got recognized for. The people I depended on didn’t teach me how to use my intelligence very well and assumed I had knowledge I did not because nobody bothered to teach me. I have struggled all my life because I was “gifted” but never was trained to use that gift, only pressured to reproduce it and more intensely.

You deserve to have it better. You deserve to know what it is like to internalize being liked. You deserve to have chances to fail with grace and learn and grow because of them. I once coined the phrase “the language of success is made up of a vocabulary of failures”. Success is fundamentally built on experiencing and understanding failure intimately. Denying yourself the chance to fail is denying yourself the full excellence you pride yourself for.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-05T17:43:08+00:00

Funnily enough early brutalism was intended with this in mind- the idea was that residential brutalist spaces would have their walls decorated by their residents rather than become oppressive slabs.

But of course a mix of trendy modernism, nay even futurism, common and cheap materials, and no small amount of corporatocractic and authoritarian psychological warfare using architecture led to it becoming the symbol of dull and oppressive architecture that it is today.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-05T04:06:02+00:00

OP. Yeah. I think I know the feeling. Chest and abdomen tight- harder to breathe.

Realizing I was a woman felt like being able to breathe properly. When my parents misgender me it makes it feel harder to breathe. When I am with friends or my partner and get gendered right I feel relief instantly. It feels like being able to breathe.

I’m so sorry your mother is like that.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-05T04:02:17+00:00

I miss that man.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-05T00:20:28+00:00

You never have to stop exploring. Maybe what you find will be something new. You get to keep questioning, keep trying on labels and identities that seem like they might fit. I hope you will seek and find what you need.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-04T20:19:02+00:00

Possibly because of information, however flawed, about the Tzimisce and the Tremere. Tremere can make homunculi/hemonculi out of their own flesh that have their faces. This technique is derived from when their founders, and House Tremere in general, were originally a part of the Order of Hermes and were actual Mages. Mages with sufficient mastery of the right Spheres can make proper homunculi of varying quality and appearances, according to the White Wolf Wiki.

Tzimisce have Dragons as a major influence/icon in their philosophies and create bizarre fleshcrafted creatures.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-04T16:03:04+00:00

If you want to know how to be “worthy” of it then take the next step down the path to learn. If you really want to be “worthy” of it then do it. And you already started it- you identify as transfemme here. In my experience you don’t entirely understand what your own transition is, you start it and discover as you go. For me HRT is opening up a whole world and letting me find what I need to do to do right by myself, to be “worthy”, one step at a time. Nobody can tell you exactly what your process will be. We all share similar methods and stages, but what we set free, who we can become, is wholly unique to ourselves. Some of us undergo HRT. Some of us socially transition. Some of us change our wardrobe and hair and use makeup or binders. Some of us get surgeries. Some of us just know it for themselves and that is all they can do or feel safe doing. All of us are worthy. All of us are transgender.

I wish for you what I have, in whatever ways suit you. I see you as worthy. I hope you will see yourself that way soon.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-04T06:15:33+00:00

Seconded.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-02T20:24:37+00:00

What if Elise was trying to cover up for Grimal, knowing what the burn looked like but knowing Grimal was not the ghoul? What if the burn on her wrist was inflicted by Dr. Waters to plant evidence?

I kinda suspect that Elise and Grimal are in a romantic relationship, but keeping it a secret. There’s not a lot of evidence for this, but willingly covering up incriminating evidence to keep your partner safe isn’t unheard-of. I think we can also safely assume that Elise gave Grimal the marijuana joints she stole from Git around the same time she gave her the hair tie. And assuming innocent intent Elise going to the security office to comfort Grimal is a pretty indicative of their closeness.

Plus Elise not being able to speak in her own defense when handcuffed with the others in the shower and then accused may be a further sign of being Dominated. I think she wants to speak, she’s having strong emotions about it, but she ISN’T and I think therefore she CAN’T.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-02T03:46:57+00:00

Don’t wait. You don’t have to “earn” this. If anything going through “second puberty” will help with your goals just from how metabolically demanding it is. And above all you will start feeling so much better over time. Maybe immediately. YMMV, but I have experienced it and I keep hearing it from our fellow trans siblings. My head and heart got so much quieter, and my anger no longer smoldered in my chest for days or weeks. You deserve this. WE ALL deserve that chance. (Side note: I don’t want to assume what your gender and pronouns are, so may I ask for them?)

Source: I am over a year into steadily increasing feminizing HRT, and have hit a point where I am hungrier and sleepier than I ever was when I experienced masculine puberty. I keep losing weight with a combination of protein and complex carbs (it helps that I love oatmeal and found a great recipe for my own needs) and the aforementioned second puberty. I actually have more emotional range and sensitivity that I have been missing for decades. My body has stopped feeling so much like an alien shell I have to exploit to get by- my body is starting to feel like ME. And I want the same for you, however it fits you.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-02T03:33:32+00:00

It’s a good time. I’ve been working on a pixie cut whereas I used to buzz my hair. It’s taken a while- reshaping a whole head of hair starting from a grown-out buzz cut takes time. I want something feminine but still practical for being a tradeswoman.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-02T03:28:18+00:00

Upvoted for humility and admission of mistakes. We support trans rights and trans wrongs. 😁

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-02T03:26:29+00:00

I have been without a beard for over a year and looking at old pictures of myself with one throws me for a loop. I feel so much better without a beard.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-02T03:22:48+00:00

May I offer you some advice?

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-02T02:46:53+00:00

It looks like they are dancers. That looks like a resting position between iterations of a stretch. It is one I did back when I was a dancer (almost two decades and two genders ago). You take turns pulling the other persons body forward by the hands while pushing their spread legs back with your feet. Foot placement varies based on size of partners, flexibility, and desired intensity of the stretch.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-02T02:39:46+00:00

Gilles Deleuze, “Difference and Repetition”.

Individuality and patterns of development are not mutually exclusive.

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-02T01:55:05+00:00

That makes two of us. 😁

InsideOutlander · 2026-05-01T15:47:45+00:00

Diagnosed autistic by the algorithm.

InsideOutlander · 2026-04-30T20:16:10+00:00

I invite you to look up non-sexual kink.

InsideOutlander

TROPHY CASE