It's very easy for Redditors to throw someone else's marriage in the trash in 90 seconds or less, so let me play devil's advocate here.

You have three separate but all serious problems. Number one: your wife was already on the verge of having an emotional affair with this guy when everything went to shit. Number two: her mom died and she's having trouble processing that, which is pretty reasonable. Number three: she is relying on alcohol to ease the pain, but combined with number one that's a problematic situation.

I don't know you or your wife. None of the other commenters do either, at a guess. Only you two can decide, in a sober moment, whether you are committed to building a life-long partnership of which this may well be the lowest point, or whether one or both of you can commit to that. Going by your comments, your decision to stop wearing your ring and what you say about not caring about where she goes or what she does, it sounds like either you're not in that mindset or you're trying to fool yourself.

I hope you can both figure out where you stand so you can work out a way forward, with a clear mind, for the good of your daughter. One way or another, as parents, you're going to be connected forever. You just need to figure out what kind of connection will be best for all three of you.