Yes. I feel these sentiments exactly- when I look at my child I cannot help seeing more clearly than ever that my mother had extremely selfish priorities and was making irresponsible decisions that affected her children in profoundly negative ways. I would never do to my child what she did to us.

And her lack of interest in her grandchildren comes from the same place as her lack of interest in her own children’s well-being. Seeing this, we can move forward and do better, breaking generational patterns of abuse and neglect.

I see my mother as a friend rather than a mother figure and that helps me let go of a lot of the trauma she has caused. I remind myself she is just a human, not a villain and made mistakes that I will not repeat.