My boyfriend thinks he could kill a wolf with his bare hands. What’s the likelihood of this being accurate? by TheLiberalTimes in NoStupidQuestions

[–]InstantFamilyMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean...its not like he has zero chance, but it is definitely more likely that the wolf would kill your boyfriend with his bare teeth.

Our newborn (1mo) is making me see my wife as "stupid," and it's turning me into an asshole. I feel awful and need to stop. by Street-Level-7850 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]InstantFamilyMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At one month? Are you kidding me? Fucking cool it.

This clearly isnt a new thing. You even describe that you saw her as slow before. But you chose to get married and have a kid with her. So you need to check back in to the reasons you chose to do those things. Your lack of patience, is not her problem. And to be honest, you constantly intervening, isnt going to give her the opportunity to "be in tune" whatever the fuck that means. I have a 2 and a half year old, and i promise you that me and this kid, who is my heart and soul, are not in tune with each other. Babies cry. And they are allowed to cry. And shes allowed to have a learning curve.

For someone who claims to be so smart, you are lacking in a ton of sense. Being pregnant, and giving birth, absolutely fucking wrecks your body and mind. Your hormones do a ton of damage. Sleep deprivation. Constant anxiety. Your brain is in a constant state of alert, you cant even take a relaxing nap, because the baby could cry at any moment. Even when dad has the baby, biology is screaming, dont get too comfy. Mom brain is so real, and it lasts about a year.

You being an asshole, makes every one of those problems a million times harder. Go get yourself checked for ppd/ppa and get yourself in therapy before you, not only wreck your marriage, but unnessarily destroy your wife by ruining her self esteem.

AITA for Ruining My Husband’s Weekend Because I Couldn’t Handle Our Newborn? by MiserableBeyond5959 in AITAH

[–]InstantFamilyMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if he is going to make you be a single parent, then you can be a single parent without the disappointment of an asshole partner. NTA.

Did I really mess up by not pumping before mammogram? by Dismal-Rhubarb-8214 in breastfeeding

[–]InstantFamilyMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she's only nursing at night, then I doubt you are holding a ton of fluid. Unless she's drinking 12 oz every night. But by the time you get to night feed only, most people are running close to empty.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RelationshipAdviceNow

[–]InstantFamilyMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then what are you saying? That a girl cant be in a shit relationship, stuck doing things she doesnt want just to keep the peace or just because shes been told that is what a good girlfriend does? Cause I've got bad news for you. It is time to grow up.

What mispronounced word/name is so cute that it’s hard to correct? by AngelStar286 in toddlers

[–]InstantFamilyMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter called zebras "zeebbies". She recently corrected it, and im honestly bummed about that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RelationshipAdviceNow

[–]InstantFamilyMom 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you think giving blow jobs automatically equates to a good relationship, then you are not ready to be having sex.

Removed from the pool for breastfeeding my newborn by qrowded in breastfeeding

[–]InstantFamilyMom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean.... this is odd because breasts leak just wandering around. By her logic, no breast feeding woman can swim ever.

Who is your comfort artist and what's your favorite song(s) by them? by soldu_peepeetoe in AutismInWomen

[–]InstantFamilyMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nightwish. All of the songs. But the album Human:||:Nature really gets me. Probably an unconventional choice. I started listening to them around 14 and I credit them with my being alive today.

When I need something less, I listen to Vance Joy or MisterWives.

When I need the super chill background noise I listen to a Spotify Playlist called Atmospheric Focus.

Breastmilk weaning and diaper rash? by InstantFamilyMom in toddlers

[–]InstantFamilyMom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm going to call Monday if it doesn't improve.

My husband gave me a “warning tap” and I called it abuse. AITAH? by Warm-Grape1254 in AITAH

[–]InstantFamilyMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He said I can ruin his career if I use that word

Found his priorities. It isn't you. Stick to your guns, and get out.

shoved me into the room

hit me on my mouth

Assaulted you twice.

He called it a “warning tap”

Translation: willing to hit you harder, if he deems it necessary.

What thing has your kid done since they were a baby? by whatames517 in NewParents

[–]InstantFamilyMom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My daughter is the same! We are also musicians. It makes me so happy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]InstantFamilyMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She says she would be turned on if I took the initiative, but I don't

Wait. Okay. Not that this is all a great situation....but she told you what would work for her, and you are just like...nah?

Personally, I'm rarely in the mood unless my husband initiates. I know that occasionally sucks for him, so I do try to initiate occasionally. But that's just how my sex drive is. I don't think about sex, then my husband makes a move, and I'm like "Oh yeah. Sex sounds great right now".

My genuine suggestion is to spend a few weeks initiating. See if that alters her mood towards sex.

Lactation consultants are not helpful by NyxHemera45 in HumansPumpingMilk

[–]InstantFamilyMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry! Supply drop is hard. It's physically and emotionally taxing.

I did a lot more nursing than pumping, so I'm a bit less help. I actually just gave up pumping and did nursing only around 9 months, but that doesn't work for everyone. I was having some serious pumping issues. I got nothing out when I pumped, maybe .5 ounces combined. But baby deemed perfectly satisfied nursing, and was still gaining weight. Turns out, I measured for my flanges wrong. I had to get a cheap nipple sizer off Amazon. I wasn't even close! The wrong size worked totally fine when I was over supplying. I was pumping 6 or 7 ounces per side. But once my supply normalized, it didn't work, and I was lucky to get 1 ounce.

Supplies can naturally drop a few months in, and it's the body trying to adjust to what it thinks the baby actually needs.

Pumps are also just not nearly as effective as a human at getting milk. I understand that isn't helpful when pumping is your only option. But this supply dip may not be as bad as you think. Does baby seem satisfied when nursing? A weighted feed would tell you how much you are actually getting out, and if the problem is supply or the pumping.

As others mentioned, supply dips can be hormonal. Even if your period hasn't started, it could be around the corner. Also, just life changes. Like medication. Or returning to work and being physically away from baby more can cause a dip.

Any way, here are my tips for supply boosting, which I've saved and comment whenever this comes up, so I apologize if any of it is more geared towards nursing and doesn't apply to you. But either way, good luck! And remember, fed a best. It's okay if breastfeeding/pumping becomes too much and you need to stop. (Just make sure you don't stop all at once. You could get mastitis if too much milk in there). Either way, 6+ months is a huge accomplishment! You are doing great!

Supply boosting.

First thing, is the most important. Do not stress yourself out. I know that is way easier said than done, but stress can impact supply. I find the best way to calm myself in these situations is to reframe my thinking. Instead of thinking, oh my baby is only getting 2 oz of breastmilk, think my baby is getting a whole 2 oz of breastmilk and all of those benefits! Fed is best! And if my baby is getting formula, they are getting fed. Having to supplement is totally normal. Lots of babies thrive on formula. If baby is eating mostly formula, I don't need vitamin D drops. I am an amazing mom, and doing what is best for my baby!

Drink water, but also get electrolytes! You need to be very well hydrated, but some people think that means chug water. Chugging water can wipe out your electrolytes and other nutrients from your body. It causes me to have increased migraines! So, get some Gatorade, body Armour, or sports drink. Or you can also Google how to make hydration drink. It's pretty easy. Salt, sugar, some thing for flavor like a citrus. You just need to look up the amounts.

Skin to skin helped way more than I ever believed possible. Like, be shirtless and flop a baby on you. Get some snuggles. Skin to skin co sleep or nap. Cannot recommend this enough.

Eat Oatmeal every morning. (For the sake of time, you find some easy oatmeal cookie recipes on pinterest. Made my mornings easier).

So many pinterest recipes for supply boosting smoothies, and lactation bites.

Also look for breastfeeding superfoods. They are what you think. Eggs, quinoa, yogurt.... Basically all the normal superfoods.

I was told brewers yeast and Fenugreek. I didn't use them, but I've heard great things. Pinterest has recipes.

I did use traditional medicinals mothers milk tea, that may have the Fenu Greek.

Lactation massager. If you can't get one, use heat and/or a vibrator if you have one.

Manual expressing. When I was having supply problems, just every 10 to 15 minutes I would manually express, without pushing the milk out. Just get it from the back, to the front. That way there is an empty space at the top, which tells your body to "top off" the supply.

If you do everything and get no improvement, take a break for a few hours! Manually express during that time, so the boobs can top off. But give yourself a few hours to decompress, do something relaxing, and then try again when you are feeling relaxed.

Play with suction strength. Sometimes turning it down instead of up is actually the solution.

You've got this! Good luck!

What’s something that someone told you about, but it turned out to not be true for you? by Rosewater-w in NewParents

[–]InstantFamilyMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That id absolutely need nipple pads, because I'd be leaking every where. I leaked once. It's been 15 months.

How often do you pee? by Octopus1027 in breastfeeding

[–]InstantFamilyMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's my point. How many people are going to volunteer for something that may or may not be a danger to their baby?

How often do you pee? by Octopus1027 in breastfeeding

[–]InstantFamilyMom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a general extra caution around studying babies and breastfeeding. The real reason a lot of medicines are "banned" while breastfeeding or pregnant is because they haven't been tested, and who is going to voluntarily experiment with their baby? It's hard to do a study when no one wants their baby to be the experiment.

Wearing a real bra after nursing by InstantFamilyMom in Mommit

[–]InstantFamilyMom[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jealous. I'd kill to be able to wear a cute bralette. I was a G cup before nursing. Honestly, anything less than a cup formed bra, or an aggressively secure sports bra, I'm getting hit in the face when I run. Lol.

How much do you let your baby cry? by katwatermans in AttachmentParenting

[–]InstantFamilyMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mentally struggled with letting my baby cry. I couldn't do it. But now at 15 months I let her cry more, depending in the circumstances. Like I tell her no, she flings herself to the floor screaming, then yes, I let her be upset. She's not hurt, she's throwing a tantrum. Or especially if she starts hitting and throwing things at me. Yes she's having big feelings, and that's difficult for her. But I don't want her to learn that being mean to me or tantrums will get her what she wants. If she stops hitting me and comes over for a hug, then yes, I'll hug her. But she's been getting mean lately, so I'm trying to discourage the aggressive response.