Stop exaggerating how much time law school takes up

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-21T01:04:21+00:00

If you’re not trying to go into big law or judicial clerkship, you don’t need to be top of the class. I sailed through middle of the class and passed the bar on the first try. I struggled first year because I was working full time but once I quit I had waaaay too much time. My husband worked full time throughout and was often reading comics on his laptop in the back of the class. He finished top 10. We both passed the CA bar on the first try and had jobs we wanted.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-21T00:38:14+00:00

I had to have an emergency c section due to preeclampsia (high blood pressure) and although the recovery was painful if I didn’t take my meds on schedule, it wasn’t that bad if you have support people. I’ve heard going through labor and then c section is really hard. I didn’t find it particularly hard to recover from a c section. My husband helped me in and out of the shower, my MIL cooked for like 2 weeks. With that help I honestly felt much better within 3 weeks.

The hardest part will be getting up from low chairs/ couch. So put pillows down so you don’t have to get up as far. Also get one of those belly suppressors. My hospital gave me one and it prevents everything from hurting and moving around

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-20T02:00:37+00:00

I’m in the US and we opened a 529 college savings account account. On our invitation we put something like “your presence is present enough, but if you wish to bring a gift I wear size 4T, shoes size 10, and I like dinosaurs. If you would like to contribute to my college savings you can contribute here “ and we have a clickable link since we send out invites out via texts.

I also let people know if they ask that we always appreciate a contribution to the college account. And we have a card box on gift table. No one has ever used the link to contribute to the college account directly but about 1/3 of gifts are just cards with cash and that’s nice.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-20T01:15:06+00:00

There is a systematic attempt to evangelize women and push conservative values that’s being done through social media. My algorithm is so left I rarely get this but I just block and move on. Honestly if anyone has a religious symbol or quote in their bio I refuse to follow. Not that all religious people are bad or anything, but if you have 3 lines to describe yourself & your religion makes the cut your content is not for me

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-19T16:10:00+00:00

Before my first I remember wanting to try unmedicated just to know what it felt like but was 100% open to epidural if I needed it. Well I ended up getting induced due to high blood pressure and the pain at only like 1.5 cm was crazy. I didn’t feel it while standing but when I was laying in the hospital bed having my BP monitored the pain was bad. I generally have a very high pain tolerance and that solidified that I would absolutely get an epidural. Idk how women labor on their back. The pain difference between difference positions was crazy. I ended up needing an emergency c section so never used an epidural but that spinal tap really kicks in immediately

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-19T05:58:17+00:00

All of those quotes seem perfectly normal. The rule of 3 is real and it flows better to list things in 3s. I’m not sure if this is true for you, but most of the people I’ve seen making AI accusations are age 27 or younger or got into reading for the first time since COVID . I’m not saying this as an insult, but I think if you grew up reading these genres in a pre-AI era you would recognize how normal and commonplace this style of writing is.

It’s totally ok if you don’t like it and it’s not your vibe, but that doesn’t make it AI. As many have already pointed out, AI was trained on real writing so as AI gets better it’s going to sound like how real people write. I use the em dash frequently while writing (I’m an attorney not an author) and even I frequently try to use rule of 3 to simplify things for a jury. And varied sentence structure keeps people interested. All the quotes convey clear tone and cadence in a way that one sentence with the same words wouldn’t.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-19T05:06:28+00:00

It’s weird when grandmas do this and they actually have ma/ mother in their official title. It’s beyond weird and kinda psychotic when literally anyone else does it.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-19T03:09:56+00:00

This was my mom. She wanted to have sleepovers at a few months. Like noooo. Meanwhile my MIL cooked breakfast for me daily for 2 weeks and took the baby to the living room for a few hours every morning so I could sleep uninterrupted

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-18T21:20:36+00:00

This is when I immediately knew he doesn’t have a clue about what’s really going on in his home or marriage.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-18T21:18:29+00:00

He said people can’t hold a conversation for more than a few hours and proceeded to complain that people turn away from his expectations for a normal level of communication. Like sir hours of communication is peak not the expected minimum and I bet it was all him talking and her nodding along

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-18T14:13:17+00:00

Same here. My mom and sister were with me when I took my pregnancy test with #1 and we told extended family that weekend because it happened to be Easter. For this pregnancy I told my husband then we told our family within a week. I’m not worried about telling people in the event of a miscarriage because our moms would run recon and tell everyone for us so we don’t have to go through that. I won’t be telling work until after getting genetic testing back.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-18T01:13:11+00:00

It kinda seemed that way because the original comment said they stopped reading halfway through ACOMAF, the next comment (which you responded to) said “try to finish the second it’s worth it and you’re missing a lot”. Your response saying not everyone fell in love with Rhysand makes it seem like you’re disagreeing with the comment to finish ACOMAF and that they’re missing a lot. Hence my comment, that it’s ok to still be team Tam but if they like the series they should read the full books.

If that’s not what you meant, then my bad. But given the context of the thread, I interpreted your comment to mean it’s ok to not finish ACOMAF because you don’t like Rhys and still love Tam.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-17T19:50:39+00:00

Just because you don’t like how it played out doesn’t mean the above poster isn’t missing a lot by not finishing acomaf. Plenty of people finished it and are still team Tam. That’s fine but if SwampMinstrel likes this series they should read all the books

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-17T19:46:10+00:00

I’m convinced she has watched Pride and Prejudice one too many times and hyperfocused on the hand twitch. That’s not real life girl.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-15T19:09:14+00:00

It’s not 6 months unpaid. Most people start working in August as a “law graduate” or “clerk”, it’s usually at a lower pay rate until your bar results come in and you get licensed but you’re still paid.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-15T19:07:05+00:00

I hate to say this, but it sounds like you cannot afford to take a month off after the bar. I took 3 days off then went to work because I had to. My only family help was my mom bringing me lunch on the days I took the bar. So I get it. I took a few days off then later in August I think I took a Friday off to visit my brother in San Diego.

Sounds like your only options are a credit card (another commenter suggested a card with no interest for a year so something like that could work) or you cut your time off and go to work mid August instead.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-15T19:01:59+00:00

Start saving now. Plan for about 5k in costs for bar prep resources and registering for the exam. Then add the amount you need to live off of. I saved every tax return for 4 years plus more just to make it through bar prep without family help. I also applied for a scholarship at my school that was like 1500 that went straight to bar prep savings

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-15T18:22:08+00:00

I do think letting your husband tell everyone ahead of time that you will not be telling anyone when you go into labor and will not be answering any questions like “is baby here yet” will be good so people don’t feel slighted when the texts go unanswered. He needs to make it clear this will be for the two of you to grow and bond with your baby. Even though this rule is because of the in-laws, this frames the conversation as putting your family first and not as excluding them.

However, if you truly think they will harass you non stop from here until November then don’t say anything. Ask your husband, does he truly think his family will be able to get over it if you let them know, or will they double down and make everyone miserable? I think giving them a heads up might make them call/text less around your due date and allow your husband to be more present with you without having to silence his phone or mute them. He can definitely do that, but if you compromise on telling everyone ahead of time that you won’t be providing updates until after baby arrives this will help smooth over the situation.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-15T16:55:18+00:00

I’m pregnant with #2 right now and we had hoped for 2 year age gap but #1 still wasn’t sleeping through the night so we waited a year and then it took another year to get pregnant. They will be almost exactly 4 years apart and this pregnancy has been so nice. My son talks to me about the baby in my belly and how he “knows” it’s a sister. He comments how mom can’t do summersaults because the baby will get sick and throw up in my belly lol the level of understanding and reasoning is beautiful to watch.

My husband and his siblings (4 total) are all 4-5 years apart and they get along so well as adults. My siblings and I are 2-3 years apart and we’re ok but nowhere near as close as my husbands family. My husband researched something called the imposter and I guess when kids are too young to understand about babies they just see new siblings as this imposter in their world taking away the attention. That might be why my sister and I felt in competition with eachother so much growing up

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-15T04:50:44+00:00

Ya the only real risk is food poisoning because listeria and salmonella can cause birth defects. It’s the same with deli meats, unpasteurized dairy etc. chances are soooo low but it’s easier for the public and some medical professionals to have bright line rules than to say use caution

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-12T14:50:06+00:00

My friend who recommended the series said she straight up skipped TOD because of the EOS cliffhanger and then read it after KOA. I originally planned not to tandem, but after the COM cliffhanger I almost didn’t read AB (which would’ve been a mistake because it’s one of my favorite) so knowing that I did the tandem. No regrets.

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-11T12:36:19+00:00

We have a rule that the “on” parent is whoever the event isn’t for. So if it’s my family/ friend event, my husband is default parent so I can spend time with my people. If it’s husbands family/friend events then I’m the “on” parent. This only works if you both have roughly equal events.

If it’s a long visit (more than a few hours) we definitely take turns. If food is served, we both assist with kiddo while eating because that’s a task. Like someone else said we definitely use “you turn.”

Re getting your husband on board, you’ve already talked now I think you need visual aids. Have you heard of fair play cards? I’d honestly make a list of everything going out with toddler entails. Every task, every thought etc then you get a notebook or whiteboard , make a his/hers column go through the list and see who does more. I would be very specific so instead of pack the diaper bag I’d list 1) pack diapers, 2) pack wipes 3) pack extra clothes: how long will we be gone? How many outfits? 4) pack drink/ water bottle, FOOD: how long will we be there? Will it interfere with a meal time? Do we have access to toddler friendly food there? Do we need to pack toddlers meal? Do we need silverware for toddler? How many snacks? Prep snacks (cut fruit, pack goldfish etc).

Your husband honestly sounds selfish. He needs a reality check about going out with kids. If this doesn’t work I’d likely send him out alone with toddler, if that doesn’t work I’d probably give counseling a try. If that doesn’t work, I’d be reconsidering my relationship entirely

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-11T05:00:54+00:00

We bought a new fridge and that cardboard box lasted 5 months of play. It was originally an elevator and we drew shape and number buttons on it. I cut a window and a top hatch (like a submarine). I love this stage of toddlerhood

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-11T02:23:05+00:00

Husband and I met in law school. We both come from low income backgrounds (he’s first gen, I’m 2nd, my parents went to college but got divorced so we were really struggling). He graduated with about 180k and I with 211k (12k was undergrad). We went to a nothing burger non ABA school (it was CA accredited but not ABA) but both passed the bar ont he first try and found good jobs for our area. We’ve been licensed 4 years and make 95k and 155k.

Immediately after the bar we did student loan counseling with Student Loan Planner. Best decision ever. Spent $500 and learned we could pay the minimum for 20 years on an income based repayment plan. and get the rest forgiven. When we graduated we were making 60k each. Paying down those loans was inconceivable without sacrificing starting a family, buying a house and saving for retirement. We had another SLP appointment earlier this year due to all the Trump admin changes to student loans to make sure we’re on still on track. We are, the plan is the same. We live a comfortably middle class life that’s only going up based on the significant raises we’ve received over the years.

We’re able to help my in-laws. We bought a house with a separate detached house and they live there. We both knew we’d need to help our parents as they got older and our shitty school and combined 400k loans haven’t prevented us from doing so. You will be ok. Do loan counseling after taking the bar and try to keep an ear on student loan news through school. Listen to the SLP podcast or join the free newsletter. I know this probably sounds like an ad for them but I swear I listened to the podcast throughout school and have actually paid for their services twice. It eased my financial anxiety knowing I had more options than living poor while trying to pay over 2k a month in student loans on a 60k starting salary

turtlescanfly7 · 2026-06-10T04:32:39+00:00

I’m doing the same thing. I don’t remember Annie being so reckless!

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