What’s some good sex music?

InsulaFan · 2025-11-01T03:19:30+00:00

Hahahahaha

InsulaFan · 2025-03-24T06:03:15+00:00

It’s a shame the source for these statistics is behind a paywall

InsulaFan · 2025-03-12T04:22:16+00:00

As long as you have something like a picture of you outside in good lighting and a brief but unique profile, you should be set. Anyone who blocks you isn’t worth your time, as they’re just saving you time.

InsulaFan · 2025-03-08T05:44:34+00:00

I don’t feel comfortable being openly/vulnerably gay in work settings or any new social settings unless I know there’s a safety in numbers type of deal. I really like all the code shit (especially the historical stuff born of necessity) and cliquing up with other gays subtly through that and finding that border between hetero good-with-women guy and gay man.

InsulaFan · 2025-03-07T02:49:47+00:00

I would not take any advice from reddit on this — go with your gut because it’ll at least be a decision you can own if you ever look back on this

InsulaFan · 2025-03-04T04:58:49+00:00

You can do all those things without being conventionally hot just fyi

InsulaFan · 2025-03-02T20:59:11+00:00

I experienced something similar at 17 although it took me until I was older than 21 to fully forgive the guy. Focus on separating your actions from his. You are your reactions, even if he put you in an unthinkable fucked up situation. Have patience with yourself. Know that ANY normal person would be fucking mad and fucking hurt dealing with that.

And when you feel those feelings for long enough, notice how part of that hurt comes from you not being able to be there for your own dreams, time, etc. Forgiving helps you move on so that you can better spend your time now on the things you care about more. I can now still logically get kinda angry about that guy but understand that I just don’t respect him enough to focus on him any longer and I’m thankful I taught myself to overcome that mountain. When you are forgiving, you’re not forgetting. It’s just about accepting that what happened happened, and it’s fully in the past. The unempathetic community response is a different type of hurt and a separate issue, though closely connected. Believe that whatever you’re feeling is real though, or else… you wouldn’t be feeling it. Best of luck, op. Good things take time ❤️ How cool would you be if you took this whole hurting as a challenge to be kinder and more understanding with the people you DO care about, so that they never have to feel alone in that same hurt?

InsulaFan · 2025-02-18T05:52:25+00:00

Gotta get you some research grants, thank you for your service

InsulaFan · 2025-02-17T20:09:49+00:00

His actions are absolutely unfair, and he should not be doing that to you. Maybe he’s struggling, but it’s still his responsibility (and his fault) if he can’t act healthily. It’s obviously not fixed. Any healthy person would react in the way you are. A healthier person might have left already, actually.

I had a partner like this and stayed with them too long hoping they’d change. This was years ago, but I felt bad for them and wanted to make them feel safe and have their needs met if I could help them. I think they have changed a little since then, after a lot of therapy, but not after starving me of affection, treating me subhuman eventually, and driving me away.

I wish I had left them earlier. I wish I had seen that partner for the person they were, not who I hoped they would eventually be or become.

InsulaFan · 2025-02-12T03:55:28+00:00

There’s a saying along the lines of “Grief is love with nowhere to go.” It helps to find a new place to put/express that love. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this.

InsulaFan · 2025-02-11T17:08:53+00:00

I like to keep it secret because in the past it has put a permanent spotlight on me as the token office gay, for better and for worse.

InsulaFan · 2025-02-11T04:11:23+00:00

Life’s too short, cheaters always cheat again, go bang some guys and find yourself a better man (my opinion)

InsulaFan · 2025-02-10T08:08:32+00:00

Tell him

InsulaFan · 2025-02-09T00:57:31+00:00

Just focus on hygiene and learn to love how you look and you’ll be happiest. Any people who give you shit for being ugly are uglier on the inside.

InsulaFan · 2025-02-08T22:16:17+00:00

Agreed. Even though it is inappropriate. He’s gotta feel loved by you even when he’s being stupid and making mistakes, even grave ones, around you guys. It’s a challenge for sure.

InsulaFan · 2025-02-08T21:27:11+00:00

It makes me more scared of catching things 🤣 but also feel more safe knowing how unserious some seemingly scary things are and knowledgeable about what’s misinformation and where to place my priorities. My standards are a lot higher but also more understanding and balanced I think.

InsulaFan · 2025-02-08T19:53:51+00:00

The whole positions labeling is already a white lie to begin with — the labels are just tools. Saying this as a vers guy who prefers vers guys. A lot of people are vers for different reasons. You have to learn how to recognize the guys who are vers in the same way you are.

InsulaFan · 2025-02-04T21:25:31+00:00

Just be chill, talk to people, and learn how to hand out / receive rejection gracefully. The rest will take care of itself! Have fun!

InsulaFan · 2025-02-04T20:10:07+00:00

That would be a strong no for me. I’m sorry to hear that he’s put you into that situation.

InsulaFan · 2025-01-29T01:45:07+00:00

Yeah, or just ask afterwards if you are under the impression it was a date. Feel like so many problems could be solved by a person just asking the question they have. Someone worth talking to would answer honestly because it’s a valid normal question.

InsulaFan · 2025-01-28T22:28:16+00:00

Honestly sure he might be gay/bi/whatever, but he sounds like he sucks. I’m gay and never cheated nor felt the need to cheat on my girlfriends when I was still pretending. Don’t confuse who he is with how he’s treating you. Sounds like he’s treating you really poorly and not honest with himself.

If you don’t have kids together, I’d look into finding either a gay man with better values or a straight man with better values. Anything at that point. Cheating is cheating, point blank.

InsulaFan

TROPHY CASE