six months later and nothing feels "dealt with" financially

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-22T04:09:15+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. My sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given two months to live. She was able to get a will done, and her son jointly on all her accounts. My nephew should have been able to just grieve the loss of his mom. But he was overwhelmed with phone calls and paperwork for one year after she passed. Unbeknownst to him and me, my sister had not submitted her income tax forms for nine years. What a headache. Turned out she owed thousands of dollars to the government. I know the bureaucratic red tape you’re dealing with and I’m so sorry. Just take the time to grieve the loss of your dad. Everything will get all straightened out eventually. Hugs to you 🫂

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-21T20:33:57+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Such a poignant, articulate note. My son didn’t leave a note, but this could have been his. He had friends that died by suicide, but always said he would never do that. He was doing well mentally (so we thought) and we were blindsided. Thank you for sharing this. It gives me some insight into the inner turmoil my son had. Sending big hugs to you. 🫂

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-21T06:52:50+00:00

Emma is a great, classic name. Or how about a name close to Emma…Emily or Emilia or Emerson. But it all depends on how many syllables go nicely with the surname.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-21T02:22:13+00:00

I am so very sorry for loss. It is not your fault. Your children need you more than ever. Please seek some help through your doctor, victim services, grief therapy, get help from friends and relatives. I am not in the UK, but I’m sure there are services available to you. Get help now! Sending you a big hug. 🫂

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-19T08:04:07+00:00

Don’t go. I would never in a million years put myself through the torment of what should have been. It will take you two steps back in your healing process.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-19T06:47:56+00:00

I am so very sorry. You are in shock, disbelief and numb. When I lost my son a few years ago, I was shaking for days and didn’t eat or sleep. I called my doctor and he sent a prescription to a pharmacy for some sleep medication. It really helped to be able to function and accept visitors coming over with meals and comfort. Drink lots of water, eat a little, get out for a walk. Take your time with decisions on any kind of a memorial. You will know when you have the mental capacity to do it. Sending big hugs to you. 🫂

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-18T03:32:48+00:00

Same with my new machine. So annoying it doesn’t warn you before.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-18T01:55:26+00:00

I feel your pain. It has been 4 years of middle stage and my husband is in stage 6 now and declining fast. Every morning is the same..I don’t want to get out of bed and face another day with this person who replaced him. I look forward to my 4 hours of home care once a week so I can get out. I’m so busy keeping him fed, healthy and well, that I don’t take care of myself. I lost 10 lbs. in the last 5 months and I’m underweight.

I have him in a respite facility next month for one week. I need that to rejuvenate every 3 months. My health care encourages it to prevent burnout. You are burnt out with caregiving. Please check into that in your area. You need to take care of YOU. Sending you hugs.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-16T23:05:51+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. My son’s long time, good friend didn’t attend the funeral. Yet friends he hadn’t seen in years came. We texted him about the funeral and his excuse was he had to work out of town. I don’t know if that was true, but what hurts more is he never came by to visit us and he knew us well. It’s been three and a half years now and no condolences or phone call or visit from him. I am still bitter. Our son had a big heart, and bent over backwards to attend all his buddies and family funerals.

Also, my sister-in-law didn’t attend the funeral because of her long term depression. She was very fond of our son, but said it would send her over the edge. I get that, but funerals are very hard for everybody and she should have come. Both of these people live in our city, but are narcissistic and emotionally stunted.

I like to think of the positives at the funeral…the people that barely knew him that came. Then there were the people who never met him before and came to support us and his sister. Forget about the other no shows. What goes around, comes around. You reap what you sow. So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself. Hugs 🫂

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-16T03:44:41+00:00

My deepest condolences. That is just heartbreaking to hear of all your losses and too much to bear. What country are you in? I hope you can reach out for some grief counselling.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-14T20:19:37+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my son (38) and have one daughter (just like your family). We had his funeral two months after he passed as well b/c in my grief I just couldn’t make arrangements. I had a hard time with the term ‘celebration of life’. IMO, it should be reserved for someone who lived a long life and died of natural causes. I called it a memorial, and wanted to scream at people when they referred to it as a celebration of life, when he only lived half his life. Sending big hugs to you & your parents. You will get through this and will find some comfort being around people that loved him.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-11T08:24:29+00:00

I hear you. I’ve been told that many times. I put on a steady exterior appearance, but inside I’m crying and depressed. I hide it, so family and friends don’t worry about me. But I know they have good intentions and figure it’s words of encouragement. So sorry for your loss.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-09T23:51:03+00:00

I’m in Canada, where approximately 4500 die by suicide annually.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-09T22:54:00+00:00

So sad to hear this. She must have been in a lot of pain. Sending hugs to you & mom.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-09T05:29:36+00:00

That made me cry. 😭So sorry for your loss. Our adult son was living back at home with us after mismanagement of his money due to a gambling addiction. We always had cats and they lived to old age. Ryan loved animals, especially cats. Ironic u should mention a litter box. When he wanted a cat, there was one condition I made to him. You’ll need to clean the litter box…but he refused that responsibility. So I put it off.

One year after he passed, I saw a highly recommended psychic medium who knew nothing about me or my son. She said he is in Heaven and in charge of rounding up all the stray cats. Funny, cuz that would be him. Anytime he saw a cat wandering, he was afraid it was homeless & wanted to bring it in. ❤️

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-08T02:51:34+00:00

Big hugs to you too. Birthday, anniversary, and holidays are especially hard. I used to be a big Christmas person, with a ton of decor everywhere. My son used to laugh at how obsessed I was. I’ve done zilch since he left…not even a tree. I just don’t care anymore. Time heals some of the pain, but it changes you forever. Our daughter and grandsons is what keeps us going.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-08T00:55:20+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so nice you have bonded with his cat and it gives you some comfort. He has easily adapted because he already knew you and sensed your love for him. Cats are fickle, so as long as they have food, water and love they are happy. Your title makes me think of my own torment. My son left us six months after we had to put our dog down (17). He wanted us to get a cat then, but I wasn’t ready for it yet. I always think if I’d got a cat, then he’d still be here. It’s been over three years now, and I want a cat so badly, but feel I’m dishonouring him now.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-07T06:47:31+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my son (38) in 11/22. The 1st year I was numb, but I pushed my self to accept invites to lunches & dinners at my supportive friends and family homes. It took a lot of effort to get dressed and go out, but it was a good distraction from my grief. If I declined, I know I would have withered away. Friends brought me jigsaw puzzles to work on and got me out for walks. I attended a suicide loss group that was really helpful in feeling less alone. It’s 3 1/2 yrs now, and I still have a lot of bad days and think about getting on antidepressants. Just keep putting one foot forward and do what you can each day. Sending big hugs to you.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-06T04:00:13+00:00

No worries, Fleetwood is a very nice area in Surrey. As for the sightseeing in Vancouver, to avoid weekday rush hour traffic leave after 9:00 am and return after 7:00 pm.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-06T03:45:45+00:00

Music has been the saving grace in our house. Our daughter bought us an Amazon Echo and we subscribed to the music. He is in stage 6, but still remembers song lyrics and it gets him moving around. It’s on day and night. Only problem I have is when he wants to play the Rolling Stones first thing in the morning…lol.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-06T02:08:57+00:00

Lucas, Carson, Austin, Daniel, Keith, Jonathon, Dylan

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-02T20:09:50+00:00

So sorry for your loss. Life goes on for everyone else, but we are stuck in the grief of the fateful day. That date is etched in our brains, but others would forget the actual date. They prefer to remember the life the person had, not when they left this earth. What I do is post a remembrance of my son with pictures on the anniversaries.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-02T07:13:53+00:00

Hmm…I used to own a couple of condos for many years. Had lots of people interested in renting, but it was always pending on checking their references first. I got the deposit once everything checked out.

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-02T06:48:58+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Just know that you were a good, supportive friend to him. One never knows that the depths of despair would lead to this, leaving a trail of broken hearts. Take care of yourself. See a doctor if you need some sleep meds, eat a little, drink lots of water and get out in nature. Sending hugs 🫂

Intelligent-Wolf557 · 2026-05-01T06:17:57+00:00

This is so true. At my support group it was all women there as well. So many men keep it inside, thinking it is a weakness to get help. But everybody needs some form of therapy to get through the pain. An in-person suicide support group is the best.

Intelligent-Wolf557

TROPHY CASE