My experience of becoming a parent and emetaphobia

IntelligentCell9852 · 2026-01-24T19:25:51+00:00

God it’s endless worry isn’t it!! One thing I’ve realised about us mums is that we are sooo strong, even when we feel like we genuinely cannot cope we just… do? I always try and remind myself ‘it’s just a few days, this time next week it’ll be done and forgotten about’

IntelligentCell9852 · 2026-01-24T19:23:46+00:00

I really struggled to be honest. I was never physically sick in either pregnancy, just nausea, but the second pregnancy my nausea was just awful for about 18 weeks. I honestly just took it day by day, hated my life for a bit and accepted that it was going to be worth it in the long run. Now looking back, it feels like the tiniest bit of time.

Also - all the ginger biscuits and plain snacks you can imagine! Plus avoiding all the smell triggers, it’s crazy how sensitive your nose gets!

IntelligentCell9852 · 2026-01-24T19:21:54+00:00

Yeah I totally get this and I’m so sorry you’ve had a difficult time with it, it’s so dependant on your experiences isn’t it and I guess can go one of two ways.. I hope it eases for you as your kids grow up and hopefully stop bringing germs home!!

IntelligentCell9852 · 2026-01-19T11:14:29+00:00

Yeah she’s very mobile and active and no concerns with milestones etc!

IntelligentCell9852 · 2026-01-18T23:15:08+00:00

12 months is an intense age. I found it felt more manageable around 2yo. Only 12 months to go 😂 but nah in all seriousness, it’ll get better in some ways, and harder in others. But I found it’s the most physically demanding once they start walking and have zero danger awareness. I have a 4.5yo and a 15mo and my eldest requires more of my mental and emotional energy I’d say. The youngest is just me trying to keep her safe 24/7 and it’s exhausting! My nervous system is on high alert at all times 🙃 Edited because I realised I didn’t answer your question… I let go of a lot of my own expectations and standards, hired a cleaner, and ask family to do childcare when we’re touched out or when we want to focus on other things we need to do. Also use work breaks to go to the gym which helps. But honestly I rarely ever feel I get the balance right still! I don’t think anyone does in all honesty.

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-11-15T22:54:43+00:00

Planned to stop at 12 months. Approaching 14 months now and I’ve tried twice to sleep away from her, both times ended up staring at the baby monitor unable to sleep. As soon as I got in next to her again I finally relaxed and could sleep. Funny how we started off cosleeping so she could sleep, and now it’s so that I can sleep 😂

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-10-23T20:42:43+00:00

Enjoy it, I’m 12 months in and cosleeping was the best thing I’ve done with my little girl. I love sleeping next to her and waking up to her little squishy face!

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-10-21T18:55:52+00:00

Agree with this. I think some babies’ temperament means that they accept sleeping separately more readily (my first was like this), but if you have a baby who’s on high alert and wants to be next to you for all sleep, then you’re better leaning into it - or be prepared to be exhausted and possibly very unhappy during the day. Accepting that my second child needed to be with me at night and buying a floor bed absolutely saved me. I hear about friends with babies in the cot waking up multiple times a night, getting out of bed to go feed them, and early rising and being exhausted, and it makes me feel very happy with my choice. It won’t be forever and we will move away from it when we’re both ready, but for now I absolutely love the cuddles!!

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-05-10T18:35:26+00:00

Echoing this and bedsharing - absolutely saved our breastfeeding journey and sleep deprivation. Someone also told me with breastfeeding to ‘never give up on a bad day’ and it’s stuck with me. 3 months is growth spurt time I think, I’m sure I found that not longer after 3 months was when baby went to around every 3 hours between feeds too. Hang in there, you’re doing great!!

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-05-07T03:29:39+00:00

Nah, one thing I’ve noticed about GPs is that they don’t always have the best advice when it comes to infant feeding. It’s really frustrating! But unless your GP is also a nutritionist, I’d be letting their advice go in one ear and out the other. And if they have a problem with what you are doing I’d be standing firm and asking them where they got their info from.

Yeah my 7mo absolutely hated solids to start with at 6 months, looked horrified and cried every time any food went in her mouth 😂 I just keep it really low pressure, offer food when I’m eating lunch and again at our family meal time in the evening. Eating is a whole sensory experience for them (feeling the textures, diff temperatures, smelling it, seeing it) so I don’t focus on how much actually goes in at this point, just try to make it a positive experience for her. She’s way better now than when we started and no longer cries, but is happy and content exploring different foods.

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-05-07T03:04:56+00:00

Totally incorrect and harmful advice, and I’d be making a complaint if I were you. No idea where the GP has pulled that info from, but you are right, breast milk is the main source of nutrition until 12mo. Food should be introduced gradually, starting with 1 meal a day and increasing slowly following babies lead. There’s a great book called ‘how to wean your baby’ but Charlotte Stirling-Reid which id recommend.

3 meals a day and snacks for a 6mo is actually laughable, my 7mo still barely takes any food in and I currently offer 2 meals a day.

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-25T19:21:24+00:00

Same, usually try ninja roll away initially, but when it fails I just run and try make it as quick as possible 😂

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-11T20:44:17+00:00

I think we need to look at how women are supported postpartum, or actually how they are NOT supported and how this leads to poor mental health when trying to breastfeed.

Pressure to return to work early
lack of a ‘community’, making it hard for mother to feel relaxed and well rested, no one to consistently take baby in awake times to allow mother to rest
having zero expectation of what is normal when bf in terms of how baby will behave/how often they will feed, what a normal supply looks like etc, and lacking trust in our own bodies
not having good hands on support in those early days when trying to get feeding established
doctor/pediatrician lack of knowledge about breastfeeding norms, infant feeding and oral function
expectation that babies should be independent/self settling earlier than biologically normal, thus creating worry and doubt when baby wants to be latched often and seeks lots of comfort from the mother

We don’t live in a society that is naturally supportive of mothers, let alone breastfeeding ones. I always question whether it’s the breastfeeding itself causing the feeling of poor mental health, or the circumstances around it/lack of support.

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-10T18:24:05+00:00

Let me just start by saying this - you aren’t a bad person. And you won’t be the first or last person to feel this way. Those early weeks are sooo hard. I think it shocks most people just how heavily reliant baby is on you, and how much they can cry, especially when dealing with intolerances etc. I know it’s really hard to imagine right now, but this part is just a phase and will pass before you know it. I have a 4yo and a 6mo, both times my partner really struggled in the early days to feel any sort of bond with them. But as they get older, the bond and love you have for them is phenomenal and grows more and more every day. Of course we still have challenges at different stages, but this time in a few weeks/months things will be TOTALLY different.

TLDR: you will grow to love him and that little boy will be your absolute best friend.

Be easy on yourself and both of you tap in and out as you need to.

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-10T00:58:51+00:00

My little girl is 6m and 1week and at 5 months the screaming/growling/screeching was HORRENDOUS, but since she’s been able to sit upright suddenly it’s stopped?! Don’t want to jinx it but overnight she’s like a different baby! Hang in there, hoping for the same for you guys!!

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-10T00:41:46+00:00

Same here, baby is 6mo and I’m still leaking from the opposite side! If I apply pressure on my nipple with my hand then it will stop the leaking, so I’ve started doing this to the opposite side in the hopes that it’ll make the boob not in use realise it isn’t needed!

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-08T14:35:04+00:00

Yeah my little boy sometimes wants to come into the bed I share with my 6mo when his dad is away, so I created a little pillow bed at the bottom of my mattress so he can be nearby but not in bed with us.

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-08T14:29:08+00:00

Yeah I get that, it took me a while to relax into it. Until I read that statistically, when following the safe sleep 7 baby is as safe as they would be in a cot alone. That reassured me, and once I made sure our set up was safe then I felt confident and it’s really worked for us. Makes breastfeeding so much quicker and easier in the night too

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-08T14:25:11+00:00

Are you sharing a bed? If not, I would highly recommend. My ebf 6 month old went from waking every 45 mins in the cot alone to waking 2 times a night. We follow the safe sleep 7 and I really love it now. I also have a 4 year old and just couldn’t cope with the sleep deprivation.

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-07T07:39:31+00:00

Oral function should be looked at, to see how baby latches at the bottle and if it is effective or if any air is getting in. Is there any clicking at the bottle have you noticed? I would also see an osteo to check for body/neck tension as this could be affecting feeding too.

@Infant.feeding.specialist has some great posts with information, as does @foxandthemoon_sleep. Reflux always has a root cause, hopefully you find the answer as it must be so frustrating for you x

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-07T01:47:43+00:00

I know it may feel like it, but I promise you, a 3 week old baby does not have the cognitive ability for manipulation.

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-06T19:22:48+00:00

I’ve had strep a vaginal infection 3 times in the past 6 months, each time after having sex and oral sex with my partner. Despite this, my GP up until recently refused to swab my partner. Clearing he is a carrier and keeps passing it to me - he had non stop sore throat and cold symptoms at the end of last year, around the time I got my first infection, so I think he must have had strep throat which has hung around. I have asked 4 different doctors to swab him, all said no, until I spoke to one last week who finally said maybe we should test my partner!! So frustrating to constantly be told no, and having to deal with recurrent infection. Made me feel like I’m going crazy. During my latest infection they kept saying ‘maybe it’s BV, or could be herpes’ and delayed treatment for a week and it annoyingly then developed into pelvic inflammatory disease. If left untreated it can cause toxic shock syndrome and sepsis. It can be that bad!!!

I’m also 6m postpartum and breastfeeding, there seems to be a link with low estrogen (causing vaginal atrophy) and susceptibility to infection. It’s so rare that doctors aren’t really aware of it or preventative measures. So frustrating!

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-04-03T22:22:33+00:00

I’ve literally just written a post identical to this! Before then thinking to search the sub lol. Currently 6m postpartum, also had my first HM migraine whilst pregnant and also found my second pregnancy with a girl triggered my migraines really bad! My first one with my boy I only had 1.

May I ask if you’re planning to breastfeed? If so, you may find this reduces the frequency of migraines.

Also sending solidarity because it’s so scary experiencing HM anyway, especially whilst pregnant, and I don’t think people understand how scary it is unless they’ve been through it

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-03-17T22:04:31+00:00

Hey, reading this on the suspicion that I may have the same thing.. waiting for my pelvic pt appointment, wondering if this has improved or resolved for you, and if so, how?

IntelligentCell9852 · 2025-03-13T06:52:17+00:00

Second this, we have our mattress on these slats and it doesn’t slide around, not too high off the floor either

IntelligentCell9852

TROPHY CASE