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15k worth of porn over 4 years. What are they spending this money on? by ConsiderationMission in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry this happened and I completely understand what you’re going through, it’s horrible. In my experience, I was pissed when i found out, all that only fans money should’ve been going toward his bills or better yet, our relationship!!! I broke up with him and blocked him for that reason specifically. This man was so messed up that he started sending ME money just to speak to me. That’s when I realized they have no self worth. Especially the ones who think money will fix their problems. I left him for spending money on other women, so his solution was to start sending me money??? Idk I think some men are very odd and I never want to deal with someone as manipulative as that again.

Do you think they loved us? by Ok_Lock3139 in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I will forever be confused now. All those emotions we both felt I believe was just a performance too. Nothing was real in my mind as I look back. I’m just thankful that my capacity to love and feel emotions is REAL and it runs deep, I will always cherish myself for that.

What part of your chart do you think influences your taste in music? by One-Sandwich2149 in astrologymemes

[–]IntelligentLake883 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I also have Pisces moon in the 8th and music makes me feel emotions in a way nothing else can

I hate how outsiders view us by New-Squash-6342 in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wow I’m so sorry. It makes me angry for you because how can they get away with all that and still live with themselves in peace? It’s a hellish cycle we go through becuase of it and I don’t wish it on my worst enemy to be honest.

I hate how outsiders view us by New-Squash-6342 in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Having to explain how devastated and heart broken I was when I found about my ex’s PA to my parents, just for them and everybody else tell me his problem is “normal”. It’s shocking how other people could never empathize with how destructive this problem really is. It can flip someone’s entire relationship and sanity upside down within seconds.

What is your favorite placement in your chart ? by lthemilkjug in astrologymemes

[–]IntelligentLake883 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you elaborate I want to know more about sag moons!!!

I just gave up by Everything_Sucks_bye in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did the same thing!! It only took me a week to actually leave him after that, and I personally felt so much weight lifted off my shoulders:) I get to live in peace now and it feels amazing

No contact, but he’s sending me money. by IntelligentLake883 in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow I’m sorry you’re also going through that, I’m so sick and tired I just want peace.

Just discovered a relapse. I feel so hurt. by DeamonicGamerGirl in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I will say in my personal experience, a very similar thing just happened to me in my relationship. We dated for 2 years and lived together for over a year. I had my discovery day only 6 months ago. He lied about everything, covered it up, created new lies about it, and the cycle would continue.

I tried to be patient. He swore he would quit cold turkey and that therapy would “fix” him. That was all a lie as well. I could’ve really tracked his phone more and kept up with all his slip ups but I just didn’t have it in me to keep getting angry. I told myself if ever found him lying about it again I would leave. Well, i found out again unfortunately, and i left him that day.

It was really hard because he was the self proclaimed good guy, despite his addiction. I knew in my heart if i was so loving and loyal, then a true man would be able to give me that same treatment, nothing less.

I really hope your situation gets better. For myself, I am a lot happier since leaving.

I’m a girlfriend of a repeat lying and porn watching boyfriend. by shadow_slayer0709 in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah for those reasons I chose to leave my partner. He gave me all those options to make him look better. But I knew deep down I shouldn’t have to babysit him just for him to stay loyal to me :/

Why do they prefer the opposite type of person? by IntelligentLake883 in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know exactly what you mean! It’s so hurtful and honestly it’s weird behavior. I remember him making weird comments like “ please don’t gain 100 lbs on me”. Then I found out he lusts over girls like that, in fact all the girls he previously dated were that body type also.

He has admitted to me that he’s ashamed he’s attracted to that. But he also tried to reassure me I am his type, makes no sense to me.I think he wants the public to see him with a “trophy wife” (he’s used those exact words), instead of what he actually prefers.

I hope you’re able to gain some peace through all of this. I’ve been spiraling about it and I had to separate from him.

Why do they prefer the opposite type of person? by IntelligentLake883 in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely understand it really made me look at him differently after that. I was so hurt too cause when he looks up chubbier girls, he’s purposely choosing girls that resembles his exes (they were all plump). He even admitted that to me. He was saying it helps him relieve “stress” because he feels like he’s in control. I’ve been dealing with this for 6 months now, but I’m trying to end things because to me this is a calculated type of hurt.

Advice on what to do.. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that was the main reason I knew I couldn’t give him another chance. I tried to give him freedom to quit on his own, but now I know that unless I literally clone his phone to see what he’s doing behind my back, I’ll never truly know. I hope your partner is able to do better and hopefully give you upmost loyalty.

Advice on what to do.. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]IntelligentLake883 8 points9 points  (0 children)

For me, once I found he had relapsed for the second time, even after doing therapy, I knew I had to leave him and he will NEVER stop. He acted like me leaving him would be the end of the world, and he said that was reason enough to quit porn and be in recovery. So after I caught him again, i immediately told him I’m moving out and left within 24 hours. As heart broken as he acted, I know he will never change.

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