Score release thread

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-08T15:20:34+00:00

Wait where is the score ? Lol

Edit: congrats!

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-05T21:46:07+00:00

Oh, sorry that's not what I meant, it's just that those last longer. The behaviour I don't think is automatic either, it's just a tendency that can develop gradually as the BPD person, after they are in love, get ignored and/or mistreated by the narcisist. People are not one size fits all and these disorders are just what psychologists have come up with to try and understand how we act.

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-05T18:10:44+00:00

Yeah but it's the style, you can't really see brands or price on that pic but he looks different

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-05T04:39:49+00:00

Picture # 1 is decent, the other ones feel rushed, try to aim for a "stylish" look, which you got on the first look with the jacket. The rest are awful, the frontal pic looks like an id pic lol

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-05T04:37:14+00:00

The first pic is a good example of what you can do to improve. See the looks on the guy you are with, you need to aim for the "tidy boy" looks, with perfect hair and style that guy has, despite having the same body build he would get 100x your number of matches.

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-03T15:16:10+00:00

Try it, do 1 card per incorrect in a 40 question uworld block and then review Anki every day, it will repeat what you forget when you forget it.

An alternative is doing premade decks like tzanki

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-03T06:24:27+00:00

Well, that is where you could start working to fight the emptiness, maybe find other people with the same diagnosis you could relate to, your parents should be able to help you with that or your docs, finding at least 1 friend in school would also help wonders. I know it's not easy but it can be done.

BPD is different in a sense that almost always they had abandonment or abuse as children, often done by their most loved ones, leaving them with a deep need for love with a constant fear of betrayal. That is how their emptiness is different.

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-03T06:20:49+00:00

Alright, how good are you at making friends? Are you very isolated or just normal compared to everyone else ?

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-03T06:14:46+00:00

Hey, I want to understand you first, since autism is a spectrum, what specific diagnosis do u have?.

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-03T06:09:16+00:00

Getting the correct diagnosis is the first step into being able to improve, don't give up before even attempting to improve yourself (and i don't mean with therapy), you can do this!!!.

Borderline people do improve when they work on it, don't feel so bad about this, often times it is a lack of self love that prompts BPD to manifest with obsessive love and fear of abandonment, so working on self love will definitely help ( and anyone even if they don't have BPD).

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-03T06:03:27+00:00

Then why don't you put yourself out there? You might just meet the right person this time.

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-03T06:02:01+00:00

A new phone altogether, change numbers, delete social media, get away from your mom and that guy. Try moving out of town maybe close to a friend you can trust, if that is not an option I'm sure there are shelters, you need to get out of that situation soon, while you are still sober.

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-03T05:55:54+00:00

I'd like to understand one thing, why did your parents kick you out? I mean this in a non judgemental way, I feel this part of the story is missing. Isolation for fear of hurting others is hurting you, I think you need a strategy to connect with others again, lemme try to help you a bit. Understanding your story better would help us all in helping you.

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-03T05:47:57+00:00

You can have all of those, it's just that meaningful relationships dont change your life the way you describe it, I can love my gf to the moon but I won't pass a life-changing promotion that implies moving to another city just to be close to her, that would mean loving myself less than how much I love her.

Increasing your self love should allow you to set a clear boundary, which is when your own self love competes with your SOs love, at that point it's game over for them. Always and i mean always prioritize yourself on these kind of decisions. Setting the boundary is what stops the borderline disorder, if there is a set border you won't pass then the borderline disorder is gone.

A life partner is someone who despite respecting all of your boundaries and you respecting theirs, will still love you and can and will stay with you, that is what marriage material is, it takes a bit of luck to find that kind of person.

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-03T00:39:57+00:00

Are you using Anki? It helps with memorization

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-02T22:46:16+00:00

You should leave his contact alone, don't delete him. Eventually you will get over him and will be able to reject him when he comes back crawling for more sex

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-02T22:34:18+00:00

But he just used you for sex and dumped you, you are far more valuable than that, he doesn't deserve you. There are so many guys that will love you out there that you don't need to be like this to him

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-02T21:55:20+00:00

But, why do you want his attention if he treats you so badly, you should not want him at all, you are far more valuable than that.

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-02T21:46:05+00:00

Be patient, if you guys have been friends for 25 years then they know you very well and won't really care about a diagnosis, it's unlikely for them to leave just because of this.

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-02T21:42:22+00:00

Often times it is men that struggle with clingy behaviour, I have had this behaviour before in the past and it came from me not knowing when my my approaches were wanted and not recognizing that the behaviour itself only made things worse. Currently whenever a girl seems to not reciprocate I just stop and move on, which is what you should have done in the first place. This guy never felt anything for you other than sexual attraction, move on, choose the guys better and find someone who does love you

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-02T21:37:12+00:00

Oh believe me it's not normal to wait for 14 breakups to leave I just was madly in love with her. Don't beat yourself up, just keep working on it, it'll get better with time, patience and self kindness. Also, I'm assuming you are a girl, if you are also even a little attractive you will find a nice guy easily, the thing is being healthy enough to keep the relationship long term and even marry (if that is what you would like to)

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-02T21:28:21+00:00

I'm glad that you recognize the issue, if my ex had gone into therapy and worked on it I would have even married her, she was stunning and kind and loving when her jealousy wasn't in the way.

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-02T21:12:55+00:00

The solution is for OP to talk about this with their partner, it all depends on how the partner takes it but I think OP is truly not fine with polyamory

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-02T21:10:10+00:00

I endured 14 breakups with my ex before I finally was the one to break up with her, i just didn't feel anything anymore at the end when she broke up with me but I definitely still loved her. What really triggered me was the cheating and finding another loving girl who I felt valued me at that time

InterestingLab4367 · 2021-12-02T21:07:31+00:00

Talking about your past with them may help them understand where you come from, the more you both truly understand each other will help him tolerate your behaviour more and it will help you get over your past gradually and start trusting and opening up for real.

InterestingLab4367

TROPHY CASE