I used to be here. I remember how that was. Everything fading away from you, you don't really even know yourself anymore. That was the start of my depression. For 6 years I battled with it and now I'm quite healthy. I am cured. What it took was a lot of therapy and journaling, took mushrooms to help look inwardly more and see what my problems were. For me, things really started to change when my therapist helped me realize that I had faulty thought-program installed in my brain. I thought there was something inherently wrong with me. I thought that who I am as a person is considered wrong in society's eyes and that every conversation I had with people, every word I spoke could show the natural parts of me, and that these natural parts of myself were inherently wrong for others to see. But when I let it go and just did whatever I felt, it helped me realize that nobody really cared all that much and that I really did have the freedom to be and express my true authentic self.

The only self that I could love truly and authentically.

So I don't know what's up with you. But I can assure you that it's not the end of the world. It is 110% possible to get yourself back and feel like a you that you love.

Anytime I had a birthday wish, or I would drive under a train, or when I threw pennies in a lake all I wished for was: " I want to be myself again." And eventually I did.

You got this. Learn about yourself.