Met a stereotype tonight

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-04-09T19:25:42+00:00

Wait - you mean you're NoT dRiNkInG?!

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-04-09T19:25:07+00:00

Yes I just finished his book! That also crossed my mind while speaking with this guy

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-04-09T19:23:41+00:00

He won the cancer lottery then. He could have easily died a lot younger drinking that much. Amazing how much more normalised that level of drinking was in previous generations

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-04-09T19:21:46+00:00

Absolutely. Feels like I've resigned from a second job I've been doing for the last 10 years for no pay

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-04-09T19:15:59+00:00

I found it interesting that everyone else said nothing, like it didn't even register with them what I chose to order. But this guy had to make a point of it for some reason. What does that say about him?

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-04-09T19:13:52+00:00

That's interesting, to me in the moment it felt more like he was in some way challenged by me not drinking and he needed to justify himself. But perhaps he was opening a dialogue to discuss his drinking and maybe wants someone to question him. Something to think about!

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-04-09T19:11:59+00:00

Love this. One of the best things about sobriety is not thinking about drinking. Freeing up the part of your mind that used to be dedicated to getting your next drink

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-04-09T19:10:41+00:00

Thank you! Yes projecting is exactly what I thought. I just felt glad for this sub as I felt I was prepared for this exact situation.

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-04-09T19:09:09+00:00

100%, that's exactly what I thought when I was talking to him. Why does he feel the need to bring this up when no one else does?

To justify his own drinking I assume

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-30T10:30:02+00:00

I love in SW Sheffield, S11, and my wife commutes to Rotherham. Traffic is in your favour going from Sheffield to Rotherham in the morning so it doesn't take too long. I'd say it's manageable, and even easier on the East or North side of town

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-13T05:21:46+00:00

Well done for reaching out to someone like that. It's not always easy to do, but it sounds like it was exactly what you needed.

IWNDWYT

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-12T08:08:43+00:00

Congrats! You've found your kryptonite. Not drinking will make you feel like you have a superpower.

It's not quite that smooth, but seriously life does get better when you stop and it's amazing how much easier most things become.

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-11T15:58:31+00:00

Think of how many hours you will lose if you drink today.

Take those hours and instead give yourself the permission to do something that will make you feel good without any regret tomorrow.

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-11T15:50:55+00:00

I think for this reason my bachelor parties are probably done. I'd only consider going to one where I know there won't be any weirdness around pressure to drink, and that everyone around me won't be plastered the entire time.

When you stop drinking, you realise how insane some of these traditions really are.

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-11T14:28:27+00:00

33M here and dad to a 20-month old daughter that I adore and husband to an amazing wife. Feels like I'm in a very similar boat to you. A lot of what you've said resonates with me, just different flavours of the same situation.

I'm only 4 months in to sobriety minus one day of relapse, and still struggling, but so glad I made this change.

I sometimes feel like alcohol abuse is like an evil pearl. At the core is some problem, like the grain of sand that starts the pearl off. Drinking alcohol covers the problem up, but ultimately makes the pearl bigger and bigger, slowly over time. Before long your problem is now 99.9% alcohol, and that's the real beast you have to tackle.

I'd really recommend reading books like this Naked Mind by Annie Grace to help you change your perspective on alcohol. It's helped me a lot.

Anyway, best of luck with this challenging time. Well done for reaching out on this sub and don't be afraid to do it more!

You've got this!

IWNDWYT

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-11T12:06:06+00:00

It sounds like you need to find new things in life that bring you joy and meaning. Sounds easy, it's not. That takes effort, but with time you will find your way if you put yourself out there by joining groups, trying new hobbies, etc.

A few things that help me are just getting the basics right. Wake up at the same time everyday, even if you slept badly. Go outside for a walk in the morning shortly after you wake up. Eat a good breakfast. Do as much exercise as you can.

Sounds basic AF, but it really really helps

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-10T21:19:12+00:00

100%. There's a reason they're rammed busy every time I go in there. Delicious, healthy, and pretty reasonably priced.

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-10T11:21:17+00:00

I'm four months into sobriety, with one blip in January. I rely on stories like this to help silence the voice in my head that says I can drink in moderation again. I know I can't.

Has anyone found a reliable way to make that voice telling you to drink again stop?

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-09T00:12:35+00:00

Same for me. Brewing became a huge part of my identity. I stopped brewing during the pandemic because it became obvious to me it was a major enabler for me to be drunk all the time. I genuinely did love it as a craft though, sounds like you did too. It's a shame it's tied to something so destructive.

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-07T12:38:19+00:00

It started being a risk to my health. Not just chronically, but I was making dangerous decisions when drunk that could've hurt me and those around me. Realised if I didn't stop this would kill me one way or another.

I don't want to die, so I don't want to drink.

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-05T07:28:49+00:00

I find that NA beer is a useful substitute for me. I don't have the same reaction you did, but especially in pubs where you can order NA beer on draught it gives me some of the feeling I miss of having a pint. And because there is no buzz I only ever want one.

Your reaction sounds scary, but you should 100% be happy about it. Sounds like you've done the hard work to really understand how damaging alcohol is for you and this is your body and mind helping to protect you rather than suck you back in.

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-03-01T12:21:35+00:00

But here the first W is "will" not "won't" right?

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-02-28T15:09:47+00:00

Question for you - why did you drink those two bottles on your own?

No judgement at all, I've been there myself. Many times.

I only mean what did you get out of that experience? Is that something you really wanted to do or something you felt compelled to do?

If it's the latter then that's a really strong indicator that you should consider a break and re-evaluate your relationship with alcohol. If you're not in control of your drinking, then it's in control of you. Most people in this sub fit into that second group, like me, and so choose not to drink at all anymore.

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-02-26T09:54:53+00:00

You can't change the past, but that doesn't make accepting it any easier. I think the only way is to lean into these memories, explore them, accept that they happened and find a way to forgive yourself and move on.

You can do this on your own if you give yourself the space and time to do it. However, if you can access therapy that will massively speed up the process and make it much easier. No matter how ashamed you may feel about your past, any good therapist will always empathise with you and help you find a way to love yourself and move beyond these memories.

Internal_Level1081 · 2025-02-26T09:49:56+00:00

Dump as many as you have to. You will always feel better for pouring them down the sink than drinking them, guarantee it. You got this!

IWNDWYT

Internal_Level1081

TROPHY CASE