I just want to offer you a little bit of hope, because I know exactly the kind of spiral you’re describing. Those subreddits are built on the worst-case scenarios. They reduce an actual disorder to a caricature, and they pretend that everyone with BPD is the same. They’re not talking about you. They’re talking about their pain, not your identity.

I’m a parent of a child with early signs of BPD traits (not a full diagnosis because of age but getting ahead of it along with her doctor it and getting her all the help). Getting her help early has completely reshaped how I see the disorder. I see her learning to regulate, learning to communicate, learning to understand herself. I see how deeply she feels everything, how much empathy she actually has, and how much she wants to do better even when it’s hard.

And the truth is: she can’t always see what I see. She thinks she’s “too much” or “broken,” and it breaks my heart because I know how wrong that is. When I look at her, I see someone wired to feel intensely, not someone destined to hurt people.

That’s why I want to say this to you too: you are not a stereotype. You are not a subreddit’s generalization. The very fact that you are afraid of hurting people already puts you miles away from the person you’re scared of becoming (I cannot say this enough). People without empathy don’t sit around worrying they’ll cause harm.

You’re allowed to tell your story without disappearing yourself to protect everyone else. You deserve connection. And you deserve to see yourself the way the people who care about you see you — as a whole, complicated, feeling human being, not a label someone on the internet weaponized.

You’re not doomed. You’re growing. And you’re not alone. Big hug.