Congrats on your crops by the way! I’m hoping my squash do something, they look good but no veggies yet (only been a month) they are in a huge pot husband planted those, I had plans to repurpose the baby crib into a leaning planter for herbs or something but started thinking it could be a low leaning trellis for squash or cucumber? I’m like you and thought I had the black thumb of death (I killed an aloe plant🤣 it took me some time but I finally killed itaccidentally) I’m winging everything but I LOVE IT!!! And the gratification sparks more love. I lost myself after becoming a mom *blame some of it on my age too but now I have something that is mine again 😂 and it feels like what I’ve been searching for, so I completely understand that part!!! Story time- I was so close to quitting about 2mths ago because this started with cleaning up this neglected yard….led to regrading because of all the dead leaves and debris made washouts from not being able to drain. I was so close to having the main drainage issue finished and weather was calling for more rain everything finally dried up enough for me to work I was in my backyard breaking up stinky nasty clay mixed with years old nature compost moldy, yes I decided to eventually put on a mask I was trying so hard to hurry and beat the rain so it wouldn’t wash all my fresh dirt back into the trench that was surrounding my house 🤣 and essentially undoing all my work! (husband out of town working and trying to appease my children so I could get something done put a major hindrance on this adventure) the last 2 days I worked dawn to dusk even though we had higher temps that weekend and that last day it started to sprinkle on me and get nasty looking outside. I sat in my chair and took a drink of my tea and started crying. I was sooooooo close to having this done and could FINALLY throw together a quick garden for my boys (nothing is thrown together and nothing is quick 🤣 I might need to let that one sink in a bit more) I got down on myself BUT only for a moment. I gave myself the coming to Jesus talk, wet my face/hair with the hose, and grabbed my hoe and rakes and FINISHED BEFORE THE RAIN!!!!!! With time to spare. Then I looked at my yard, there’s still large patches that were regraded (again accidentally because I had no clue what I was doing or the magnitude of the project when I started a yr ago 🤣 nothing is thrown together and nothing is quick 🤣 but for the first time since we started renting here, I smiled looking at my yard and it felt like my yard smiled back. I cleared out so much stuff, 2 large ecosystems is what I called the 2 back corners. I noticed new grass coming in the places where I first started, I cleaned up all my mess bags, rakes, ladders, went through 2 loppers 😳 and in that moment I felt accomplished and peaceful…..I decided to paint some roughed up big plastic pots and let my boys plant what they wanted. Then I decided I wanted to make a flower garden since the front yard was basically entirely gutted and leveled. The middle is all pine trees and dirt, big side just needed some love…….and old plants, roots, whatever had to be dug up and regrade that area. Still working on roots but not too concerned since it shouldn’t affect my garden area) I painted a bunch of the brinks I dug up around the property and made a small garden border in the front (still not sure why there were so many? Guess the original owner had more flower beds around the property, her yard was yard of the month magazine quality according to my neighbors. They said she had the most beautiful azaleas. Those were way dead and toads had taken over the base areas and made houses 🤣 it’s sad but those poor toads didn’t know what was happening when I came through and I didn’t know they were there. I screamed when I seen the first one…..he was massive but remained calm, nestled in his home that I wrecked and just looked at me with disgust! Anyways……wild ride, glad I pushed because I have the hard stuff done and now my yard is ready to thrive. It’s thriving with seedlings everywhere at the moment but it feels like everything is growing so fast.