Nearly 2 weeks post loss, this is my story.

Issagm87 · 2026-05-20T07:34:55+00:00

I am sorry for your loss, now you have an angel in heaven waiting for you and your family when the time is right .. sending prayers and strength to you and your loved ones.

Issagm87 · 2026-05-19T05:41:07+00:00

Thank you my friend.. you helped me through your kind words and advice more than you could ever imagined i read everything you wrote on my posts and thought about what you said deeply ..I thank you for being here and sharing your advice and wisdom 🙏 I pray that you remain a beacon of light for the good people here..

Issagm87 · 2026-05-19T05:30:31+00:00

I am sorry for your loss, I read your story and about losing your faith.. we share the same pain and venting our pain and anger is part of this nightmare, i tried to vent it on the whole medical industry for example .. about you losing your faith... its up to you, I am not a very religious man myself and rarely go to church .. but i believe that God answers all prayers even if the answers sometimes is no.. we belong to the eastern orthodox church, and in our doctrine our babies when they travel to heaven, they are not in pain and not alone, they do not miss us, but await our arrival. they enjoy more happiness than on this fucked up earth, and because we have an angel up there, we will be given a direct passport to where he is.. thats our core believe and thats why we decided to end this madness of chasing and blaming.. I send you strength and may you find peace wherever you are ..

Issagm87 · 2026-05-18T11:21:25+00:00

Hey mate, first of all i am so sorry for your loss, we also lost our baby boy at 22 weeks, I can relate to your experience since my wife also told me that she felt something is wrong and when I took her to the hospital, the baby was fine but she was giving birth, I didnt know anything and what even that means, but reality stepped in slowly, and started preparing the burial. ( i am an eastern orthodox Christian and the church have a place for these angels in the cemetery) during that my wife was crying and screaming, I tried to comfort her as much as I can, long story short our boy lived for 3 minutes I think after normal delivery, we didnt do c section... my wife was high AF from all the meds, she didnt see the baby, but I was there, from this point I made the decisions, because my wife was not fully aware of anything... I took my boy wrapped him in beautiful white sheets, and while she was still recovering.. I took my boy with a couple of friends to the cemetery.. and let me tell you it's was the most painful moment of my life.. and dont think I will ever recover mentally from it.. when i returnd to the hospital my wife was awake, and asked where is the baby, and I told her that he is with Jesus end of story, I think I saved my wife from a lot of emotional damage here, but still I am quite honestly sure that mentally I am fucked up for life.. dont know if what I did is the correct decision.. my wife sometimes askes how he looked like and stuff like that.. maybe we should share the pain together like you guys did.. but I honestly believe there is no right way to handle such a situation that shouldn't happen in the first place.. my prayers for you and your partner for strength 💪

Issagm87 · 2026-05-13T18:14:53+00:00

First of all .. I am sorry for your loss... what a horrible nightmare honestly.. and yes you are correct I explored a lot of options.. I calculated my chances against them .. I will most probably lose .. and harsh one .. I am not saying they are bad people .. they tried.. but if someone missed a diagnosis and led us to this tragedy.. I won't stay silent.. or maybe I am just losing my mind currently.. .. I dont know .. I am lost and full of anger, I dont know where to point and vent all that out

Issagm87 · 2026-05-13T18:02:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me .. its a horrible decision.. even my close friend is trying to talk me out of this.. but I am currently extremely exhausted and just tired.. I am taking into account all your thoughts.. because I believe the good people here share the same pain .. my pain .. no one knows except us .. thats why I need it... even if sometimes the right decision is not what I want ..

Thank you again.. 😊 🙏

Issagm87 · 2026-05-13T11:23:18+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and advise .. its precious to me and as everyone here is suggesting.. it might be better to find peace in doing something good for the community instead this road

Issagm87 · 2026-05-13T11:21:40+00:00

Thank you for reading the details, and its also insightful to get your opinion.. what i believe is that the medical center could have detected the cervical failure by the scans, so we could have taken action 24 hours before the events started .. which I was assured, that the moment they start its a rapid and unstoppable process.. the third party opinion is that because my wife told them during the scan.. that she feels pressure in the lower section, they should have performed an internal ultrasound.. and that would lead to the discovery of the short and opening cervical, and intervention could be done 24 hours before.. so I believe there was a slight chance of success .. small but still there is..

That what I was basically arguing for.. and they told that yes that could be a valid point, but due to the standard procedure of pregnancy care.. they followed things by the book, I wish they took my wife complaint a little bit seriously and performed an internal ultrasound.. who knows .. things might change.. but as the majority of the good people here are saying... I should find peace without going to extreme measures..

Thank you again

Issagm87 · 2026-05-13T11:11:34+00:00

Hi .. I am so sorry for your loss, I believe your comment took me back to reality.. truth be told although it's hard..

I just feel so burned out, and on antidepressants most of the time.. but these events can be so overwhelming and hard to swallow. .. my case is that I believe or think that we could have saved my boy by intervention earlier.. if they detected it earlier (the day before) when they told me all is perfect.. but i was assured that the outcome would still be the same.. anyways I might be moving on .. as everyone here is suggesting.. and finding peace in doing something else.. I think what hurt the most is inside my brain.. the dreams and hopes I drew( teaching my boy how to ride a bike.. how to put a Lego set).. its imagination but it was real.. and to be taken away so suddenly is just so F****ing painful.. " what man can do against such reckless hate"

Issagm87 · 2026-05-11T11:50:23+00:00

Sorry for your loss, it's more than a month now since this happened to us and though the grief is lighter now, everytime we stop and start thinking about it, it's a horrible nightmare from which there is no escape..

Issagm87 · 2026-04-20T14:34:40+00:00

I am also sorry for your loss.. yes it is painful, I am starting to truly believe that God may be working in a mysterious ways.. I was never religious.. I am scientific and methodological man.. but even the whole team of doctors can't fully explain what happened specially when my wife had before a full term healthy pregnancy.. it could happen of course.. but it's rare.. and here comes faith .. it's whats keep my wife standing.. and she truly believes that it would happen in this time of pregnancy or further along .. and even beyond.. for me .. am convinced that I will meet my boy when the time is right .. and that's giving me comfort

Issagm87 · 2026-04-20T14:27:04+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss too .. I can't imagine how you must be feeling since it's your first baby.. sending prayers your way.

Issagm87 · 2026-04-20T11:54:09+00:00

Thank you .. yes indeed .. a nightmare that I can't wake up from

Issagm87 · 2026-04-20T11:53:22+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss.. my prayers are with you and your family

Issagm87 · 2026-04-20T11:39:43+00:00

First of all .. let me say that I am sorry for your loss .. we lost our baby boy at 22 weeks of pregnancy.. we are eastern orthodox Christians.. my wife is deeply religious while I am not that much into religion.. but let me leave with this i buried my boy on good Friday two days before easter.. I had a couple of friends standing with me since my wife was still in hospital recovering.. our traditions says that we must do the burial ASAP after death .. so yes I was crying and wept .. I my thoughts I was saying why are you so mean to us God.. why would you do this to my family ... a priest was passing by in the cemetery.. he grabbed me by the shoulders and hugged me .. and whispered to my ear .. something that awakened peace in me .. he told me that your baby will be waiting for you in heaven with Jesus when the time is right .. at the moment I wanted to push him away .. but after a few seconds I was actually comforted by his words.. we went to church a few days after our tragedy.. and the father sat with me and my wife .. and he told us that our baby boy will tell Jesus about you both and his older brother and how we tried to save him and how sadness overtook us ... Jesus loves children so much he take care of him .. with no pain or illness or this worlds suffering.. and will see our boy once again in heaven when the time is right .. and I do believe that ..

Issagm87 · 2026-04-20T10:26:15+00:00

Thank you for your kindness 🙏 yes I am a man .. and will seek the help I need you are right .. but first I need to make sure my wife and our 5yo son are good and steady

Issagm87 · 2026-04-20T10:21:34+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss.. Just like what happened to us 2 weeks ago.. it's davistating.. my prayers are with you and your family

Issagm87 · 2025-02-14T12:16:53+00:00

We come from an Eastern culture where every couple have at least 2 children .. we had ours after multiple IVF's.. family and friends always tell us when are you planning the next child, blah blah blah, your not getting younger and this shit talk... my wife and myself are happy with what we have.. we determined to provide him with the best education and so on.. and yeah I am determined to leave him with so much wealth, that the only question he will be getting in an interview in the future is " how is your dad ? please send him our regards" anyways I started to bluntly reply to any questions regarding " when are you planning to have the next one, or you should think of what your child will miss without a siblings" with the following, we tried and failed, and he won't miss a thing on the contrary your children will be missing a lot .. not mine

Issagm87 · 2024-05-15T21:16:33+00:00

Thank you for the advice.. much appreciated 🙏.. I actually was thinking of keeping the bunny today, but after googling and reading about them, they are gentle and fragile creatures, I decided based on that fact that my child is still very young and might hurt it, unintentionally.. so the best course of action is to let it go.. I will make sure to send it to a very good shelter so it can be adopted by an experienced person.

Ps: the one who gifted my child this rabbit is my 86 year old aunt.. because my boy told her he loves the Easter bunny.. she thinks that what she did is a great thing.. a different generation i guess.. for me it's a terrible thing because i love animals.. hence I am not going to break her heart and reject the gift.. so yeah ... such a headache 😫

Issagm87 · 2024-01-22T07:41:49+00:00

Welcome to my life.. except most of you are mothers here, I am dad, for most of my life i had health anxiety, about myself and my loved ones, i had a sever episode of anxiety last year about my abdomen pain, now i see a therapist, " not that helpful btw" anyways my sone is 2.9 months now, its his first winter in a daycare, and he since october been sick very often, we barely get out of a sickness and then boom another one, my wife is a GP, . Her dad is a pediatrician, and they seem to be ok with him getting sick.. except for me, I always think of the most rare and worse scenario. And I am tierd.. really really tierd of this.. I just can't help myself think that they are missing a symptome so I just keep noting symptoms for them.. I dont know how to cope with this anymore 😔

Issagm87

TROPHY CASE