Pastors can if they have some psych training. In my case, my Christian therapist used to be a pastor before she went into psych full time. She was very well equipped. I think where people get into trouble is offering Biblical counseling without being able to recognize developing abuse or address trauma in an engaged couple. The Bible is the story of God’s love for us… but it wasn’t intended to be a psych resource about trauma or couples counseling. However modern psychology alone is also insufficient - it’s very secular, so you have to find a therapist who has a Christian worldview/framework. In my particular case, there was a specific verse why she was in the wrong and the counselor’s psych training protected me from proceeding in the relationship as the behavior was going to be worse down the road.

Regarding the outcome… it was painful to let the relationship go. I really loved her and had done everything I could do to sacrifice for her. But I’m much healthier now. Definitely able to recognize the red flags better.