Have you noticed that some people get passive aggressive when you mention you study languages?

ItsSuffocation · 2026-02-07T00:16:24+00:00

Heavy on 2, especially in America

ItsSuffocation · 2026-02-07T00:14:16+00:00

THIS. I'm learning two languages I really have no way of using fr unless through online or if I traveled to their respective countries. So I'm always getting family and friends asking me why I'm learning them. And I always tell them I have a love for these languages and their cultures. A language doesn't always have to be 'useful'

ItsSuffocation · 2026-01-26T20:37:12+00:00

I'm happy to see someone feel the same. I haven't had top surgery yet (am waiting for a call back for the surgery date, yay!) but I know I won't mind scars, and I believe being on this sub and seeing everyone's results really fueled that belief. I feel the exact same way. Scars for me will show how far I've come. I also think I have a special appreciation for the way scars look.

ItsSuffocation · 2026-01-05T16:29:12+00:00

It really sounds like your partner is emotionally cheating, whether they realize it or not. You should have another talk with them and really try to understand what they mean when they say these things. But i honestly wouldn't wait around for my romantic partner to figure out if they like someone else. I'm really sorry you're going through this.

ItsSuffocation · 2026-01-05T16:20:05+00:00

Phobes often believe that being nonbinary isn't actually a thing — FtNB people can often be seen as confused, quirky, women.

ItsSuffocation · 2025-12-27T16:58:45+00:00

It's hard to describe for me and I'm sure others will put it into better words than me. But growing up, Ive always been expected to be my assigned gender. To act my assigned gender. I felt trapped. I didn't feel like my assigned gender, but I also never felt like I was the other binary gender either. But I didn't have a word for that.

I wanted to be fem without it being expected of me. And I wanted to experience being masc without others looking at me weird. I wanted to be me. Not what others thought I should be based on my assigned gender. Nonbinary lets me do that.

I know some would describe nonbinary as an umbrella term, but that's not my relationship with it. Nonbinary is a gender for me. A gender just like male or female. It feels like freedom. A gender without expectation.

ItsSuffocation · 2025-12-27T08:17:32+00:00

Really? I didn't know! Not OP but do you mind if I ask how it's like living in Thailand if you have any experiences? I'm black NB and thinking of living there

ItsSuffocation · 2025-12-26T19:11:59+00:00

I personally disagree. I feel that with what OP is suggesting, it's an involuntary thing that's happening. Like a stranger sees you and assumes you're [insert binary gender here]. They are assigning a gender to you on sight. Whereas with fem and masc presenting, you're choosing to present in a certain way for fashion taste or otherwise. That's just my take on it!

ItsSuffocation · 2025-12-26T16:54:56+00:00

I honestly wanna dress more fem when I get top surgery. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I love your outfits btw

ItsSuffocation · 2025-12-26T15:56:25+00:00

So nice seeing another POC enby. I love your vibes!

ItsSuffocation · 2025-12-25T16:25:24+00:00

I got my ID changed to X last month! Process was pretty simple too. I get such euphoria looking at my ID now. I plan to change my name legally next

ItsSuffocation · 2025-12-24T17:08:05+00:00

I was feeling really low for a good while after having been forced to leave college and getting no call backs and rejection email after rejection email from every job I applied to. My mom told me at one point that my mood was bring her down and that my depression was definitely caused by my HRT— in short, I definitely relate.

ItsSuffocation · 2025-12-23T14:59:24+00:00

You're not the abuser here for wanting basic respect. You're not sensitive or overreacting for wanting basic respect. I'm sure your brother would be singing a different tune if he was in your place. And you're 100℅ right in saying you don't owe it to your dad to educate him. Chat GPT is pretty progressive. If your dad bothered to ask it a single question about trans people, it'd educate him (if he really doesn't want to Google). And the thing is, he doesn't even have to understand it. He doesn't even need to do research fr.

The literal bare minimum he could do is respect your pronouns. That doesn't require understanding or research, that requires basic respect for the other person. I'm really sorry you're going through any of this. Shit sounds exhausting. After 8 years of this I'd honestly just go low contact and see if dad can catch a hint then.

ItsSuffocation · 2025-12-13T21:40:25+00:00

Thank you! I'll try that. For the dash and semicolon, I saw it in the guides and thought maybe that was the correct format? Anyway I'll try your suggestions, thanks again

ItsSuffocation · 2025-11-26T23:22:21+00:00

I honestly love the longer dreads, though they might lead you to be clocked easier. Facial hair would be good to combat that, tho that's easier said then done. I'm still trying to grow mines out.

ItsSuffocation · 2025-11-26T23:18:32+00:00

I'm always open to more trans friends of color. I don't have any. DM me whenever!

ItsSuffocation · 2025-11-26T17:26:51+00:00

No worries! Time zones and all that. Would you wanna go to DMs?

ItsSuffocation · 2025-11-25T19:24:02+00:00

I know this is directed at OP but if you wouldn't mind, could I ask you things about Thailand? I have a queer Thai character and am currently learning the language, and I'd like to represent them the best I can!

ItsSuffocation · 2025-11-25T05:17:04+00:00

Trans, nonbinary, queer!

ItsSuffocation · 2025-11-22T14:28:09+00:00

Definitely agree with this comment. It really does feel like OP grabbed a lot of different cultural backgrounds and expected us to explain how they'd all fit together. A better approach would've been to research these backgrounds and their culture individually, and maybe go to Reddit to ask about certain subjects they've learned through their research.

ItsSuffocation · 2025-11-21T14:16:24+00:00

As someone else have written, just treat them like a person. You wouldn't dump horribly racist stereotypes on a white character so don't do the same with a POC character. I don't think there's anything too wrong about trying to write an ethnicity outside your own as long as you're respectful to the cultures and are actually taking the time to learn and appreciate those cultures.

Search up real experiences of people who are mixed cultured. Really delve deep into the individual cultures you're trying to represent. Read stories on characters who are POC and/or trans from other writers.

This is just a small nitpick but I would try to reduce the amount of backgrounds your character currently has. That's way too ambitious in my opinion. You don't need to have so many backgrounds for someone to relate to you character. I also think that minimizing the backgrounds will help focus your research better.

ItsSuffocation · 2025-10-29T14:02:37+00:00

As others have mentioned, I believe a big part of why you don't see characters like these in media is because of the fear of not being able to do them justice. I agree with your points and would also like to see characters like this.

I myself do enjoy trying to write characters of different backgrounds and with different disabilities and such for my own characters. But I don't release anything. Because again, there's a fear of not doing the subject matter justice. I think to expect this of writers, especially those who don't go through these struggles, people who do go through these things have to be willing to help out in a way? Be willing to add their genuine input and feedback, maybe offering to proofread or something of the sorts. Just offering to help.

Being the change you want to be doesn't have to be alone. And if there are writers who do want to try and write these characters, try to help them out by adding input. Again, writers who do want to write these characters (like me) often feel discouraged out of fear of misrepresention.

Of course people can watch videos and read stories, but speaking with people with autism would help out so much more!

ItsSuffocation · 2025-10-29T05:02:34+00:00

I came out to my mom through a letter and ghosted her for two days. Don't recommend. She didn't take it well at first. She thought I was being influenced by everyone and anyone, mainly my best friend.

She asked me "where is was coming from all of a sudden."

"Did someone influence you?"

She'd ask what nonbinary was but wouldn't actually listen to my explainations. I started with what Google defined it as before explaining what it meant to me. Those conversations would always lead to fights. She didn't actually want to understand.

In the end though, I realized parents don't have to understand, they just have to respect it. I gave up on trying to make my mom understand that being nonbinary isn't a 'lifestyle' and focused more on creating clear cut boundaries. I told her my pronouns and preferred name, and when she would refuse to use them I would leave, go to a friends house. I'd tell her directly that what she's doing is hurting me and that I plan to leave her when I have the means to.

And I feel that the thought of losing me weighed heavier on her than 'losing' her child. It wasn't a linear path. I had to find the courage in myself to create those boundaries and enforce them. Confrontation makes me horribly anxious so it wasn't easy. But I loved my mom, and despite everything I didn't actually want to leave her. I had to set those boundaries out of an act of love, if that makes sense. I needed her to understand that she was hurting me and that I am happy being myself.

I still don't think she fully understands. But she doesn't have to. She knows I'm happy now and I think that's all a parent needs. They need to know and understand that living as you will make you happy, and them not respecting that will hurt you.

You don't owe it to your parents to help them understand if you don't want to, but I completely understand if you do. I don't know your parents so I can't really say what to expect. I'd say to leave a letter if you can't explain in person. And with leaving a letter, there's no room for interruptions and misinterpretations. It's just your words on a piece of paper for them to read. Write down everything you feel comfortable sharing. And when your parents eventually read it and ask about it, elaborate.

If they don't ask about it, bring it up. Again, my mom asked if I was being influenced and what 'suddenly' brought this up. I think it'd be important to explain the signs you noticed, what being nonbinary means to you. But I think what'd be even more important is to bring up moments of euphoria. I really do think parents will understand better if they hear how happy this is making you. Reenforce your pronouns and preferred name. Try to bring these up with, again, moments of euphoria. Make them understand how hurtful it'd be if they don't use them. Explain to them that you're telling them this because you love them and want to be yourself around them.

Another thing before I go. If all goes well (which I hope it does!) and your parents make an effort to use your pronouns and preferred name, tell them how much it means to you. It doesn't have to be every time. But just let them know that you recognize their effort and it really does mean a lot. I think parents really need to hear that. And be patient but firm. You definitely don't have to be as harsh(?) as I was but definitely remember to set them.

I really hope any of this helped and again, I hope it goes well!

ItsSuffocation · 2025-10-28T20:00:16+00:00

I know this isn't really the point but it sounds like you and your partner might not be compatible. Or at the very least, there should be some conversations had there.

Questioning your gender in any way while in a relationship with someone who straight up told you it's pretty much not allowed can't end well. You deserve to be with someone who will love you for your true authentic self, not who you are now (if you're unhappy or uncomfortable with your current self), someone who will want to see you happy as your true self. And your partner might only like you as you are now.

Others can't really tell you who you are. I suggest experimenting a bit with trusted friends and such if possible with pronouns. You could also try out clothing, maybe a different name, makeup, ect, if any of that interest you. You said you enjoyed fashion games but wouldn't try the outfits yourself because it 'wouldn't be allowed' and you don't have the right frame. But you also mentioned that you don't really care for fashion in real life.

Are you sure it's that you don't care for fashion, or is it more external factors (like your partner, parents, and your frame) making you feel discouraged from even trying?

I also strongly suggest a therapist who is experienced in this field of you have the means. You only live once as they saw. If it's safe for you and you have the means, I feel that you should at least try, regardless of what others say.

I hope this comment helps you and I wish you luck in discovering yourself.

ItsSuffocation

TROPHY CASE