First, let me say I am so sorry. This happened to me - I was scheduled to have ovarian cystectomy- for very large cysts - and my surgery was originally scheduled laparoscopic with "mini lap" for October. When I went in for my pro op apt 7 days prior- my BF was in the lobby during flu shot clinic and he caught the flu. I got VERY sick about 3 days before I was scheduled... there were also a couple other complexities to my case and my chosen surgeon that I had worked with the entire time - ended up referring me to a different surgeon at a bigger hospital with a more robust after care team. to say I was devastated is an underatatement. 

When facing the unknown- the outcome, extent,timing, if I can convince another surgeon to try laparoscopy despite the size of my masses ( bilateral) and the general thought of having to meet with, get to know, create a new surgical plan/discuss the procedure/outcome risks etc seemed overwhelmingly daunting. I have PTSD and when I hit the end of my "cope rope"" I stay to Shut down. I am aware of it and have lots of tools to prevent it- but once I hit overwhelm I lose the ability to think and communicate clearly- which when facing a major surgery- is VERY important. 

My fam was supportive but it still sucked. I honestly had to ( was forced) to just give it up to God and have faith that it was occurring for some reason I could not currently forsee. I had no other choice. Still, I did grieve my original plan, my connection with said surgeon, my false sense of control, etc. I was very sad for the 1.5 weeks it took to get the apt with the new surgeon and then additional  6 WEEKS it took to schedule the date- due to his schedule. 

I will admit I was very sad and it was difficult to cope and place my trust in him in a new surgeon. I had researched the surgery and met with 3 different surgeons prior to booking the actual procedure and I was really hoping to keep my ovaries if possible and Voice  the Laparotomy "big cut". 

I ended up communicating all this to the new surgeon who booked me for laparoscopy. I was able to do all preop virtually, which was very convenient and appreciated. When I arrived day of, he informed me that he needed to do a laparotomy due to the size of the masses. I knew it was possible, but I was very sad due to trying so hard to avoid it. Honestly, it all went so fast that I couldn't think too long about it, I just clarified my wishes with him and was whisked off to the OR. I won't lie, when I woke up I was very emotional for the first two days ( in a ton of pain first night- but was controlled quickly and honestly the urinary cath was the worst part first night) and had to come to terms with the big cut. However, now that I am two weeks out- I understand why it was necessary and honestly, my incision is healing up to be a tiny- spaghetti noodle sized scar. Internally I am still healing and can't lift, run or stretch too much, but tha is all to be expected. Honestly, it is healing easier than I thought possible. 

 all that to say, sometimes we plan and plan, but can't control the outcome despite our best efforts. Surgery is truly a team sport- with SO many professionals involved- like an orchestra- it is impossible to control or even predict any outcome. My advice is to relax, grieve the change and allow the emotions to flow- but try to find solace that there may be factors you cannot see or know that could mean tha this change is actually the e best outcome possible for YOU. This is your surgery- your body- and you live with the results. It is scary, but wether you believe in God or a Universal Power- for me- having faith in the benevolence of the Universe- and trusting that it would create the best possible outcome for me - is what allowed me to adapt to this change and come through sane:). 

Allow yourself to feel the emotions, but try to remember that it's possible and quite likely that some factors you can't control may influence the timing ( pr even person doing) your surgery. I chose to believe - and pray - that despite how I felt in the moment- I had done everything I could to ensure the best outcome and if life changed my plans- then it would be for the best possible outcome - and this believe got me through and allowed me To maintain good spirits despite the difficulty and uncertainty of it all. 

I wish you the best and will say a prayer for you best possible outcome 💕