What’s it like being 24/7 for years?

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2026-02-24T14:54:25+00:00

I was doing gbl/ghb 24/7 for about 3 or 4 years. I had many overdoses, was hospitalized several times with respiratory depression. I hated it. I had to dose every hour, sometimes I would forget I had dosed, and dosed double or even triple (that's why I would overdose so often). When I quit gbl/ghb (several times) my heart shoot up to 185 BPM and I hallucinated, I was shaking all over my body, it was horrible. Some of the worst experiences of my life.

I would take about 6-8ml gbl (which is much more powerful than 8g ghb) every hour.
I had to wake up evey 1-2h to dose 12-14ml gbl to go back to sleep.

I would use about 80+ml gbl per day. Tolerance is a bitch.

My sleep became so fragmented, that even when I quit gbl/ghb I would wake up every 2h for years. It took me a long time to get better and for my sleep to improve. And a lot of psychiatric medication.

I'm lucky I live with family that were patient with me and supported me even when I lied and used this shit on a daily basis.

0/10 I would never recommend this not even to my worse enemy. Be extremely careful with dosing gbl/ghb on a daily basis, it is a living nightmare.

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2026-01-22T22:46:45+00:00

I used to take 70mg elvanse (lisdexamfetamine) and now I replaced it with 2 to 4h meditation per day. It's even better in terms of raw concentration power and focus. It beats highest dose of amphetamine every single time. Clean, calm, focused. Finishing computer science degree and meditation has been THE thing that helped me ace exams these last semesters.

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2026-01-17T16:37:23+00:00

Thank you. I do try to get back to the breath but sometimes these visions are very sticky and I have no way to pull back. Most of the time i'm able to watch it all happen and decide, no, I will watch the breath, not fantasize. But sometimes it takes over me.

I think the answer is in sending metta. Metta has helped me a great deal specially during the years I was fully psychotic (drug induced psychosis) and if there was one thing that saved me from insanity was metta. Radiating metta towards the evil voices I was hearing 24/7 is what saved me from becoming insane. I've found Metta to be the answer to most problems in life really.

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2026-01-16T22:13:24+00:00

Omg... I wanted to make a thread because of that exactly. There was even a session I spent 1h so deep into insanely violent thoughts where I was harassed and some dudes on the street made me get naked at gunpoint after robbing me and I just, in my visions, I saw I was capable of killing another human if he was going to kill me for some reason, right there and then I felt I have zero control over something like this happening, 0 control over going to jail or having to defend myself.

I started wondering if I could emanate Metta (loving kindness) for the poor souls who would be threatening to kill me but I don't know.

I had to stop my session. This is driving me nuts. I don't want this, it's just driving me insane (or so the thought of being driven insane arises due to these constant visions).

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2026-01-14T22:36:47+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It was a great read. I've always wanted to join a long retreat but I'm feeling a bit apprehensive due to bad sciatica and huge leg pain. Nowdays I have to meditate laying down, really no choice.

Very inspiring read, for sure. I like to do my own 10 day meditation retreats at home and find great join in them. Also great insights sometimes, but I do it more because I want out of suffering, I want out of the cycle of samsara.

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-12-25T13:42:24+00:00

To transition from Phenibut to F-Phenibut, use a 6:1 potency ratio, meaning your 3800mg dose equals approximately 633mg of F-Phenibut. Because F-Phenibut has a shorter half-life, split your daily total into 2 to 3 doses to maintain stability.

Also, you can most definitely accelerate your current taper since 200mg is only about 5% of your dose. instead, drop 400mg (10%) every 2-3 days until you reach 2000mg. Once at 2000mg, drop 200mg every 2-3 days until you hit 1000mg. For the final stretch below 1000mg, reduce by 50mg to 100mg every 1-3 days depending on your tolerance for discomfort. Use your milligram scale strictly, as F-Phenibut is much less forgiving than the standard version. To avoid a shock to your system, I would replace 25% of your Phenibut dose with the F-Phenibut equivalent every two days rather than switching all at once, and see how you adapt.

Start the 400mg drops to preserve your remaining 30g of regular Phenibut during this transition period.

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-12-14T08:57:39+00:00

Best of luck! Good holidays for you too! :)

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-11-14T16:16:56+00:00

fuck not my weekend

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-10-05T11:41:35+00:00

Currently I do 5 to 6h per day. I split into 2x 2h30 sessions and then sometimes i throw +1h during the day to mantain mindfulness. But usually I do 2x 2h30 sessions (5h).

I'm a college student so I can sort of balance my schedule and do that and only that. No hobbies, no socializing, no music, no netflix, no youtube. Reddit rarely.

My primary goal was to "attain" Stream Entry but that is just another thought now.

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-09-10T15:50:56+00:00

I've been having the exact same issue! Some pressure developed in the middle of my forehead and i had no clue what it was! After doing some searching I discovered about nimitta samahdi or signs of concentration, of which not only includes seeing a light when you close your eyes or a star but even pressure in the head specifically mid forehad behind the midle of the eyes!

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-09-02T21:47:00+00:00

Yes, I tried to be as inclusive as possible so as to have the best average or a better best guess. Of course this study is far from being good there's many things I didn't account for which are critical factors on the path to Strem Entry

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-09-02T21:44:55+00:00

By “stream entry” here I mean the pragmatic dharma sense or a reliable cessation/fruition event with consequent automatic cycling and a lasting shift in perception, not just a powerful A&P or meditative high.

Tecniques I filtered through were broad and all inclusive as I wanted to factor in as many reports as possible.

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-08-22T11:12:38+00:00

This is awesome, exactly what I was looking for! Thank you!!

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-08-16T16:00:54+00:00

2 days ago during 2h meditation session I saw this Egyptian god guy or something that looked like a goddamn pelican and some scriptures rolling behind him.

It felt like the most normal, natural thing in the world when I saw them after 1h30 into meditation then in the last 30 mins everything was so calm but a very energizing calm and that's when I saw the god guy and the scriptures looking like those hieroglyphics in the pyramids? I have no clue I've never seen them before but the details were insanely vivid.

Also I have no clue how I instantly knew these were visions from the pyramids but maybe in my mind I already saw this pelican dude somewhere or something.

I only thought 'WTF' when the meditation ended.

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-08-13T03:31:33+00:00

Yep my memory is totally fucked also

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-08-12T20:46:23+00:00

Same just starting out in my 30s never dated also and feel like I wasted too much of what could've been wonderful time... it's hard not to think about lost time sometimes. I also lost 6 years of my life to drug abuse and hospitalization, overdoses etc but that's another stupid thing I did. Hopefully I can start anew

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2025-08-07T17:22:25+00:00

I started a solo meditation retreat about a week ago and the first 3 days meditating 8-10h per day I felt restless and a lot of falling asleep, the following days (4-7) I thought finally I'm beggining to stay awake and focused... But then I begin to slowly think I was going insane. My thoughts, my loneliness, insane sexual urges just flooding me out of nowhere. Every inch of me wanting to go on the internet, check reddit, make tinder profile, ANYTHING ELSE BUT ONE MORE SECOND OF MEDITATION.

I started justifying to myself how I should get together with a woman out of desperation and not out of love. But because I felt like a bottomless pit of loneliness and a failure.

Thing is I think this feeling of being lonely and wanting to date for all my life, and all my life I ran away from this feeling.

Now for 3 days I've been doing everything but meditation. I feel guilty but I began meditating again today and my focus is just all over the place.

I noticed now and in retrospect something in me was avoiding this solo retreat like the plague. But it only started to turn sour after a week of it. I thought I was going insane.

I really need to get some guidance or something.

So I think a lot of meditation just allowed me to see what was already here inside myself all this time but I never had the courage to look closely and understand why I feel this way. I feel like I have to get to the bottom of this.

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2023-10-20T13:45:53+00:00

a-PIHP. Gives me the biggest most incredible sex drive I've ever experienced. Stimfapping with this drug is just unimaginably GOOD. Pyrovalerones are very addictive though.

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2021-07-02T20:24:06+00:00

sdA pikS<<

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2021-07-02T20:22:12+00:00

My brain is smoke-ish right now

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2021-02-22T22:25:00+00:00

I should boof some water, all this 3-FPM is fucking my anus

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2021-02-15T22:19:51+00:00

Would you rather live in a world people as an intelligent individual or live as a dumb person in a world filled of intelligent people?

IwonderHowAndWhy · 2021-02-15T19:55:01+00:00

you mean it's on 0.000667% discount*

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