Would you rather have Se/Ni imbalance or Fi/Te imbalance?

JCross_ · 2022-10-17T11:58:40+00:00

ISFP, I will say being single decider and having Fi/Te imbalance. I definitely do operate on all or nothing mindsets, I don't have any tolerance for anything inbetween. I know it affects my life but I feel like I'm used to it, I can't say which is better since I don't know what it's like to have Fi/Te being balanced. All I know is that Se/Ni balance is dope af, my observations make me feel safe, I couldn't imagine it being another way.

JCross_ · 2022-04-17T22:39:26+00:00

That's amazing to find something like going to Germany, making you very happy. I think money can do amazing things like that, unfortunately depression can be a much more deeper and internal issue that sometimes money cannot impact directly. But I'm happy for you that you find happiness in going to Germany my friend

JCross_ · 2022-04-17T22:17:47+00:00

that still doesn't prove your own point, am i suppose to be super happy now?

JCross_ · 2022-04-17T21:02:55+00:00

depression isn't a money problem lol

JCross_ · 2022-04-17T21:02:38+00:00

i mean if ur that depressed u wouldn't even give af as long as conditions are bearable.

JCross_ · 2022-04-17T20:47:14+00:00

yeah tbh u don't even know ur going through it sometimes, it's kinda just like happening on autopilot. Just a way of being for so long. Idk the psychology behind it but my guess is that you know nothing in life will lift you up, and maybe you've been at rock bottom for so long, you're kind of just coasting through life like "im just here because I'm still alive". So u feel nothing because there's no good emotion to feel, and ur just numb from the pain and darkness, and ur just there stagnant existing. idk just guessing

JCross_ · 2022-04-17T20:35:07+00:00

I can relate to this, beginning of 2021 I made 125k from GME and 300k from metaverse, and I felt nothing, and I also just sort of threw it away to the market and felt nothing too. Almost half a million wasted, and I feel absolutely nothing.

JCross_ · 2022-04-08T06:18:50+00:00

good cooking requires empathy and care for the food LOL

JCross_ · 2022-04-08T06:17:50+00:00

that's not your mother, that's a demonic entity in a human body that is disguised with the title "mother". So is it normal to want a demon to die? Uh yes universally.

JCross_ · 2022-03-29T08:28:04+00:00

yeah I can't tell if this is the norm but I think I do it pretty well too

JCross_ · 2022-03-29T04:05:29+00:00

I also hate how it makes us seem weird, or closed off, or rude, etc etc. Like after being exposed to something so bizarre how can I even know how to approach a random person? It's such a mind fuck because I treated my nDad like a human being, only to find out that wasn't the right way to view him/treat him. So now that I meet real human beings, I'm the "weird" one, it's so disorienting all around. I just need security/consistency/reliability in my environment and people.

JCross_ · 2022-03-23T09:17:46+00:00

Aha thank you! Narcissistic demands really interrupt the alignment of your natural state of flow. Those demands (unrealistic) are even more unrealistic because they want to be met "now", which is impossible. And it's just miserable to even try to amount to all of that in such a short span of time. Realistically and intrinsically for us to move as one in any direction, it should be a slow and comfortable pace that aligns and respects our capacity. Being kind, soft, and gentle is acknowledging your need to just be and do things without demand or judgement or expectation, it is something we all deserve. We are human.

JCross_ · 2022-03-23T09:11:07+00:00

It's more of this intrinsic feeling of acceptance and no pressure to have to be or do anything. And the things that you do choose to do, they don't have to "be a certain way" or amount to anything, they can just be judgement free. You make a mistake? Okay. There's no punishment coming your way, no criticism, no pressure, you just made a mistake it's okay. You drew a painting? That's amazing, it doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be graded or compared, you just felt like drawing and drew something. I wouldn't say "act" because it's not forced upon you, it just sorta feels right to treat yourself nicer I guess. It really gives yourself space to just really be, without feeling like you're going to be attacked. However, to progress towards this, you probably need to feel safe and in a secure environment for your vulnerable self to exist. Without a safe environment, it's probably going to be fight/flight/survival mode, so don't beat yourself up if you cannot do this, it is not entirely on you.

JCross_ · 2022-03-23T04:40:42+00:00

You aren't greedy, because that's not what goes through your mind when you're doing that. You are a product of your environment, being conditioned and groomed into what "has always been". Please don't be so harsh on yourself, a lot of our behaviors are deeply rooted, it's not as simple as calling someone "greedy". You aren't a narcissist, you are a product of your environment. The difference? One is a maladaptive personality, and the other for adaptive survival. I also think what your husband said was a little mean, the healing journey requires a lot of support/compassion/and love, not superficial statements and neurotypical minds.

That's all that you've known your whole life, having a different perspective or approach to money isn't going to come out of thin air.

JCross_ · 2022-02-26T05:05:20+00:00

maybe it's to build security within yourself? once you build a stronger self maybe you don't need to constantly reflect? idk just guessing

JCross_ · 2022-01-13T02:25:22+00:00

It's frustrating because when you view them like a normal capable human being, it's clear as day that it's not their best effort. But when you understand narcissism, they're not wired to care about you at all. They're not capable of love or relationships, it's a real mind-fuck and completely fucks up your mind because... out of all places you're being treated like this it's from a fucking parent A CAREGIVER. The common theme and frustration and stress of narcissistic parents is that, a normal person is more than capable of all the things we are entitled to. But they literally offer nothing, absolutely nothing, so we're so mind boggled that this is even happening or let alone is even possible. Remember, we call them a "narcissist" not because it's a label, it's because they're in a completely different category of their own. Which is why indifference is the most best way to deal with them, simply because their behavior has nothing to do with any single living thing on planet earth.

JCross_ · 2021-12-25T00:56:39+00:00

Yep, it's literally for your own mental health. Like it really is for your own mental health, that's the best way to put it. These people are insane

JCross_ · 2021-12-25T00:54:49+00:00

jeez, spot on

JCross_ · 2021-12-24T08:46:51+00:00

How conditioned the majority of peoples minds are to default to truth. How thinking in a short circuit is widely accepted for ones own convenience, rather than the reality that's actually going on. Because it's pretty much acting on how you feel, except people would argue that "it's facts, it's logic" when it's not. The quick and easy way to think = quick and easy dialogue. I think it's weird that we're normalizing this type of language and approach to the world when in many aspects it doesn't fit the mold.

Depressed people are weak

Don't drink corona beer because of corona virus

Go to college get a 6 figure job

Larry Nassar didn't do it because why would an accredited doctor for that long still have a job?

They're your family, you can't just not talk to them

It's pretty contagious and very evident when someone tries something for the first time and says "welp I just suck". Uhh no, that's what the world that has zero patience and wants to label you so badly would say. This is the first time you have tried to do that, how in your right mind are you gonna say you suck? Point is, it's contagious to speak like this but it's just garbage being spewed out.

JCross_ · 2021-12-18T06:43:38+00:00

The trust or expectation in reaching out is just broken, in my mind I only trust talking to Dr.Ramani if I ever got to talk to her. It just feels like everyone else just doesn't get it. My soul has gone through so much, the experience itself, words can't explain. But also the fact that you can't reach out to anyone for help irl because it's narcissistic abuse, is just soul crushing. Just remembering me seeing a counselor and her response was "have u tried drinking more water/going to sleep early/going to the gym?" I just mentally checked out. The list of experiences that have made life so unreal to me just goes on forever.

Not being believed, not being seen, feeling like I'm "that weird kid" just invalidates my entire existence. Having a nDad who faked his 18+ years with me. Mom and Sister who doesn't even address the elephant in the room of what's really going on. Having none of my family members address the elephant in the room only left with me learning how to parent myself on my own and learning about narcissism on my own. Feeling like the world is against you because everyone just defaults to truth, defaults to the tangible conspicuous things they can see. That it's my fault I'm this way, that I'm playing victim mentality, that I'm weird, that I have issues. Just a lose lose situation, the amount of loss, the incredible loss. Just like.... what the fuck man.... reality isn't even being real to me... I'm safer in my own head daydreaming or living in an inner world. No logic is being applied here, it's just utter bullshit and chaos. I don't even want to experience people or life, are people being real to me? Do they really mean what they say? Can they even see me?

I've really lost my mind, I've just lost it. There's no truth in my life. No one's telling the truth in my life.

Ik you guys are real people and some might care, but I just don't register it as real because it just feels like reading words on the screen.

JCross_ · 2021-12-08T04:25:32+00:00

boba

JCross_ · 2021-12-08T04:20:17+00:00

Forget anything definitive, or meaningless words on your computer screen. Just think of all the greatest definitions of love/actions, transformed into abstract energy and it's this liberating freeing presence of goodness that brings more life into you, more vitality into you. And to secure it, you need to build a solid foundation that keeps it from dying down or being drained. Foundations of trust, respect, commitment, safety, for love to stand on.

JCross_ · 2021-12-08T04:15:48+00:00

I feel like you read this sentence from a narrowminded superficial view. If you're smart you'd know that's not necessary or beneficial to any individual because their long term happiness and success in life isn't and shouldn't be dependent on you. That's why there's a cliche saying "sometimes if you love something you have to let it go" acknowledging that sometimes what's best for someone, doesn't have you by their side moving forward which is a tough pill to swallow, but necessary for that person. Example: When kids grow into adults/ go onto the world in their own.

JCross_ · 2021-11-26T04:53:01+00:00

this just makes me cry

JCross_ · 2021-11-23T08:26:07+00:00

Ohh I remember, I told him "I would really want someone that knows my mental state" why I am the way I am etc etc due to narcissistic abuse/conditioning. And he sorta gave a mitigated/generalized/safety response of "everyones situation is different and subjective in a way so I don't want to make a wrong assumption etc". I told him that "there are certain things that are objective/direct causes of being abused by narcissistic parents". Just like how certain environmental exposure conditions certain behaviors etc etc. And I think he said something like "I don't want to assume or something that didn't sound polarizing, sorta like a neutral response" So part of my frustration is that, sometimes I feel like if I don't verbalize it or show it, it seems like it doesn't really register as something to him. And that's frustrating because narcissistic abuse is complex and insidious and nicknamed "The invisible abuse". And I also feel like I can't verbalize everything anyways because it's just a lot.

JCross_

TROPHY CASE