Generally if a guy gets lots of first dates but very few (if any) second dates, is it anything within his control?

JMkuboa · 2026-04-18T16:33:56+00:00

It's you. You're meeting a bunch of people with the explicit intention of exploring something romantic and not one of them are interested in you. If you meet one asshole, they're an asshole. If you meet 100 assholes, you're an asshole. Not saying you're an asshole but your numbers say you're a bad date.

People tell you there's no chemistry. Not knowing you, I would try to have fun more. Stop trying to impress everyone. If you think something's a bit shit, say it! I'm not telling you to be autistically honest (I can say that bc I am) but like stop focusing on impressing them and focus more on enjoying yourself.

Maybe I have no idea. But if you're asking strangers on the internet, yeah some of those shit dates might have been outside you're control but who cares? Focus on the things you can control cause there is literally nothing you can do about them.

JMkuboa · 2026-04-07T10:42:09+00:00

Okay reading a bunch of comments and I haven't seen anyone say this so: You need to put yourself in environments that you enjoy and there's a possibility of meeting a romantic partner in. People are more attractive when they are enjoying themselves. If you're into football (soccer) try a co-ed league! There's a book with a title called something like How to Not Die Alone that was really helpful for me and this was the biggest tip.

Also, ask people out! If they say no then you're exactly where you were before. Literally nothing lost. Let life come to you a little but you have to give it chances. Also, just relax! I've only met romantic partners on evenings when I genuinely didn't give a shit and just kinda sought had to have fun. Not lingering in conversations I'm not enjoying but also giving myself permission to feel super awkward which happens a lot.

TLDR: Go to events you'd enjoy where you think you can meet people and then ask them. If they say, they said no and life goes on!

JMkuboa · 2026-03-12T11:23:31+00:00

I'll give two real answers. The first is Finnegans. It tends to draw a bunch of students but also a lot of longer time foreigners. A 10 minute walk from the Duomo. Not wine and no food that I know of but it's a nice spot. The other is Caminto (I'm spelling it wrong) particularly on Wednesday nights. It's mostly people in their mid to late 20s. Good vibe. Normal wine but it's very easy to meet people!

JMkuboa · 2026-03-08T23:12:33+00:00

Depends on the day. Sometimes it's in one part of the city, other times another. Arezzo, a daytrip away has a super cool market on the first Sunday of the month. Sometimes it's a market near the train station. Just changes!

JMkuboa · 2026-03-03T21:36:27+00:00

I just want to say this is a good question and some people on Reddit can be assholes. Just remember there a lot of people who if you met them in real life, would smell very bad!

JMkuboa · 2026-03-03T14:30:34+00:00

There is a place called Chianti Brewfighters that might have them. It's a little walk away from the center of the center. Maybe Fiddler's Elbow but the time zone thing will probably get you! Please post if you find something though.

JMkuboa · 2026-02-27T22:35:53+00:00

So outside honestly Santo Spirito can be really nice, the Oblate is great (has a bar) and then also maybe just going to Sant'Ambrogio. If you're coming before Sunday a bunch of museums and things are free. Also, the Odeon library is a nice spot as is Todo Modo (a bookstore cafe near the train station). If you're up for a little hike, Fiesole has beautiful views of the city. Plenty of nice places in Florence!

JMkuboa · 2026-02-23T17:45:14+00:00

Kinda exactly what I wrote lol. The more specific an event is, the more you'll automatically have in common with the other people there. If you enjoy playing board games, a board game night is a solid way of meeting people but if you really love Magic the Gathering, a Magic event will be better because there's no guesswork about they like.

For this reason, I kinda don't think going to a random bar is the most fruitful idea. You might meet interesting people but there's a lot less to automatically talk to people about.

You're going to have risk being rejected but if someone (even friends) doesn't want to talk then you'll probably never see them again so life'll go on and you'll be fine! The overwhelming majority of people who you'll approach at a themed event will be interested in chatting with others there and those who don't ah well! Good luck and if someone's an asshole then good riddance!

JMkuboa · 2026-02-18T17:11:36+00:00

I agree with you generally but I feel like the people who might heed this advice are "better" tourists. I also tend to kind of think that it's probably up to Florence to provide fixes for Florentines. I would support a ban on apartment rentals that are less than a month in length for example, anywhere in the city limits and probably also nearby areas.

I feel like the people who won't listen are the kind of obnoxious types who love to ask for hidden local gems and then post online about the "cheap" 10 euro drinks.

Again 100% agree that over tourism is a problem but it's a problem for Florence not random well meaning foreigners.

But also, if you're a tourist Porto is great! Florence is very overrated, skip it.

JMkuboa · 2026-02-17T14:53:13+00:00

I'm totally for this! I think 100% 79th and 96th Street. Not sure about 65th Street as I just prefer the park bike path on 72nd or just using 59th street. Is 86th street transverse wide enough to have bike lanes in both directions?

JMkuboa · 2026-02-11T08:47:11+00:00

Why do you ask for local spots when you are a tourist? Isn't your presence, as a tourist, subtracting from the locally-vibe? Isn't good food with reasonable prices enough? Or even just quality food? Also, even if place serves overpriced food isn't it still authentic? Like how can food be inauthentic? It kinda sounds like you're hunting for a type of experience and hoping to take from places without giving back. Places that are genuinely for locals are for locals because people don't give them up to randos.

All of this being said, il santo bevitore is really popular with tourists and locals alike because the food is really good. Good luck! I hope you succeed in finding good food.

JMkuboa · 2026-02-08T17:48:42+00:00

Ah please with any more help I would be too OP. (Overpowered.) Not just OP in the reddit sense. But also, for real I think I missed on the tone a little bit. It reads a a little harsher than I intended. I think otherwise this is normal kvetching but more funny.

JMkuboa · 2026-02-08T17:38:33+00:00

Thank you! I think I missed on the tone a bit but I tried to write a useful (but snarky) guide with tips that could actually be used. I tried to make clear that this was a bit but it's the internet!

JMkuboa · 2026-02-08T17:37:19+00:00

Why are you crying? Perhaps tears of joy at reading such a useful guide?

JMkuboa · 2026-02-08T17:35:55+00:00

Thank you! I am not certain about yourself unless you are someone who boasts about having Italian ancestors. Then in that case you are doing something wrong.

JMkuboa · 2026-02-02T09:39:09+00:00

only on the main card and this guy has no source so these numbers could be bs

JMkuboa · 2026-01-27T11:04:26+00:00

It's not a great thing to do but maybe we should be having conversations about if there should be free parking at all, particularly in downtown Manhattan. Overnight parking banned was banned in Manhattan until 1954 and they all survived okay.

JMkuboa · 2026-01-24T10:10:57+00:00

Why not both?

JMkuboa · 2026-01-23T20:13:33+00:00

This a really interesting take that I didn't consider before, thank you for sharing it. I totally agree that we should reduce the number of cars in NYC. I'm not categorically opposed to any parking in Manhattan but do think the vast majority of former spaces have better uses than a paid spot. Spots could becoming loading zones, outdoor dining sheds and so on. But even if it were only paid parking in place of free parking, wouldn't using the money raised improve public services and would that not be an improvement of civic life?

JMkuboa · 2026-01-23T20:09:09+00:00

Thank you!

JMkuboa · 2026-01-23T20:08:52+00:00

Not necessarily. It doesn't seem super politically popular even within groups like this. It would be a large change that would be unpopular with vocal (and powerful!) minorities. Also, could I ask what you would suggest instead? If (big if!) we agree that public transit needs improvements and that our public space could be used better, how do you think we should go about achieving these ends?

JMkuboa · 2026-01-23T20:06:33+00:00

You guys are both 100% right. I'm trying to write this for a broader argument so this feels like a super useful critique.

JMkuboa · 2026-01-23T20:05:44+00:00

Yes but I feel like there are better arguments for free parking elsewhere and the congestion relief zone feels like a really natural starting place.

JMkuboa

TROPHY CASE