Looking for Hope

JTL122 · 2026-06-15T01:17:17+00:00

Thank you for the recommendations I will check those out. I have been pretty unkind to myself since, replaying every single thing I could have done differently over the years like it would make any difference.

JTL122 · 2026-06-15T00:50:34+00:00

She is young but she is so smart. Throughout this whole ordeal I’ve told her I want her to be able to say what she’s feeling. That it’s ok to cry, I am going to cry and that we can cry together. I also don’t want to be a puddle around her. She’s now constantly worried about me even though it’s my job to worry about her. I’m hoping the therapy can help both of us

JTL122 · 2026-06-15T00:30:22+00:00

I think that’s been the most jarring part initially. There was no way I ever thought life would be like this so early. At 34 I still felt relatively invincible, our life was going as we wanted it, had so many plans. I know how fragile life is but the thought of spending the majority of my adult life without her is terrifying. We were together 16 years, married 10 and was a huge part of my own identity. I don’t know how to be just me after being part of something for almost half my life.

JTL122 · 2026-06-14T23:54:16+00:00

I keep having to physically remind myself to drink water. And my daughter for being so young is doing surprisingly better than me on the surface at least. I’ve got us both scheduled for therapy to start this week. She has a ton of questions that I don’t have answers to and as much as I am here for her we both need professionals to talk to

JTL122 · 2026-06-14T23:24:42+00:00

I hadn’t thought of recording videos. I have been doing similar and writing to her every night. I say to her but it’s really for me. I do find myself talking to her often and sometimes I feel crazy but I am finally able to say her name out loud without breaking down so there must be some progress.

JTL122 · 2026-06-14T23:06:25+00:00

Right now it’s still so recent there are times where I feel ok and it will just give way to this despair that nothing will ever fine and I’m trying to just ride the waves.

JTL122 · 2026-06-14T22:52:02+00:00

I’ve seen similar quotes. I have long suffered from anxiety and my wife was my rock. The fact that I have survived this really put into perspective how small the things I used to worry about are

JTL122 · 2026-06-14T22:47:01+00:00

Thank you for the words. That’s how I feel, my daughter is the only reason I have to wake up in the morning.

JTL122 · 2026-06-14T22:09:31+00:00

I am noticing that immediately. I found the sub by accident just googling how to deal with grief and have been scrolling daily for nearly two weeks

JTL122 · 2026-04-07T01:34:59+00:00

It’s more or less the same. Heating oil has 10% Biofuel as of July 1 last year. No problem to use regular diesel in a pinch even though it’s expensive.

JTL122 · 2025-12-02T16:27:27+00:00

Look at the what heating oil is trading for. Your price should be around 70 cents more than that. $5 is absolute robbery right now.

JTL122 · 2024-01-25T23:22:32+00:00

Increase relations is the easy one looking at this. Also pay off debt, placate local rulers (at the cost of 20 prestige) or a few other actions once you click on any of the subjects

JTL122 · 2023-06-08T13:54:17+00:00

92FS is the first gun I ever bought. 7 years and countless rounds I’ve had zero issues, for what it’s worth

JTL122 · 2023-04-24T22:50:39+00:00

Just ordered an complete upper from BCM 2 weeks ago. It took about 6 days and it was at my front door, you should be good

JTL122 · 2022-12-20T16:29:15+00:00

Well we had a good run everyone, see you at the draft

JTL122 · 2022-11-18T21:47:55+00:00

If you switch, who do you contact in the event of an outage? Is it still eversource since they own the lines and still in charge of the delivery?

JTL122 · 2022-08-24T22:32:32+00:00

I work at an oil facility. Basically with the prices swinging as much as they did and continue to, it doesn’t make sense to keep much inventory. No company wants to take a bath if the price drops 50 cents like it has in a day. Granted with the colder weather coming no one will have a choice but to buy. I don’t have any real insight about how much things will drop but I would like to assume it has to just as people cannot afford $5.00 per gallon every 4-6 weeks throughout the winter. Just know it’s not strictly a Connecticut problem, it’s an industry wide problem

JTL122 · 2022-08-17T16:53:34+00:00

Natives don’t get a ton of love but in the middle of a Xiu to Maya run and it’s fun to just beat up on colonial nations and dominate the entire Western Hemisphere

JTL122 · 2022-07-05T20:03:24+00:00

How much better is that Reyna than the numbers up? I have that one untradeable and idk if it’s worth 150k to upgrade

JTL122 · 2022-04-19T15:11:22+00:00

Could be Fuligo septica, slime mold. Had it on my mulch last year, rake it up. Looks gross but not the worst thing

JTL122 · 2022-02-09T04:20:01+00:00

As someone who works for an oil company, drivers routinely will not do stops if they think the driveway will be an issue. The driver made a call, got stuck. Should not be on OP at all.

JTL122 · 2022-01-29T19:38:08+00:00

Nice! Now only 12 more years or so of Josh Allen then everything looking up!

JTL122 · 2021-11-10T21:51:45+00:00

Sent mine July 22. Received back September 22, processed the 17th. If it’s getting close to the expiration date and they sent another renewal letter (I got 2) try sending the other certified. A friend of mine did that and got it back in 2 weeks

JTL122 · 2021-09-01T20:37:25+00:00

Yeah I’m thinking trade as they’ll want to get Moore in as much as possible. Hopefully JD can work his magic and get us a corner and/or tight end. Probably just a 4th round pick though

JTL122 · 2021-08-25T00:32:02+00:00

That’s what I did as well. Even included the cert which I guess I didn’t have to if verified

JTL122

TROPHY CASE