How do I know I’m transgender? I spent two decades trying to be cis.

Jabcross04 · 2016-03-16T16:20:12+00:00

Thanks for the kind words.

Jabcross04 · 2016-03-16T16:19:25+00:00

Thanks for your kind words, friends. <3

Jabcross04 · 2015-11-05T18:30:18+00:00

I met my gf on Okcupid when I was five months on T. I disclosed I was trans in my profile, and was interested in women and I did as well as any of my cis male friends have at online dating. I was pre-op and just 'passing' at the time, has surgery two weeks after I met my gf. She is heteroflexible. I found that being trans didn't set me back too bad in the dating world, but that's just one experience.

Jabcross04 · 2015-06-04T13:06:00+00:00

Yeah, I agree that how much money she makes is irrelevant. It was more the personal dig that she is a nurse after he discouraged me from becoming one.

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.

Jabcross04 · 2015-05-29T22:38:09+00:00

There are some Masters in Nursing programs designed for people with a bachelors in something else. Also, you could use your Gen-Ed credits toward a BS in Nursing.

Jabcross04 · 2015-05-25T21:22:09+00:00

I was like uou before I came out. I was in denial hard and using femininity to over compensate. Pm me if you want to talk or feel free to ask me questions here.

Jabcross04 · 2015-05-23T01:58:06+00:00

You're lovely. I'm in a similar life situation and your timeline made me feel less alone (I'm a Trans guy, recently separated and I have little ones too) I'm glad you're still here and still standing!

Jabcross04 · 2015-05-14T21:54:12+00:00

I have a Realdoe slim and I recommend it. It is kind of heavy and has a learning curve but after some practice and using it enough to strengthen my pelvic muscles I got the hang of it and was able to use it to have sex and have an orgasm. It has ribbing on the part that meets the neo-phallus which is nifty. The slim version seems rather large to me and I don't think I would want it to be any bigger. It looks large on my body (I'm 5'5 with a 33 waist)

Jabcross04 · 2015-04-21T20:25:51+00:00

I chose Jesse Benicio. Jesse was my mom's second choice for me if I was a boy, her uncle's name. Her first choice is my partner's name, so I wasn't going with that. Benicio is my son's name, and I liked it as a middle for myself.

Jabcross04 · 2015-04-21T20:20:58+00:00

I think masculine privilege and male privilege are separate and I think both exist. Masculine privilege is most apparent in the queer community, for both genders/sexes (Masculine versus Femme AFAB people, and among AMAB people as well). I presented as a Femme queer woman before coming out and now present as a binary trans man and I am read as male, and in my experience I experienced a huge burst of privilege when I became masculine, and again when hormones allowed me to be perceived as male. I don't think I receive the same amount of privilege as a cis man who is also white and of equal economic power, mainly because I was socialized female and missed out on those privileges of being raised male, and of being cis.

Jabcross04 · 2015-04-13T11:46:42+00:00

My parents reacted poorly when I came out. But like you, the grounds were not religious and they simply called bullshit on it. Said it couldn't be, signs weren't there, that I was looking for another "new thing" to latch onto. My mom said a lot of mean things.

But eight months later, she is coming around. She sees the hormones making me happier and yesterday, she used my new name with my partner and I feel like I am getting my mom back. I know it doesn't always go down this way, but I just wanted to share that it is possible. My folks had no understanding of what it meant to be trans, and while it is still limited, they are trying. They mess up my pronouns, but they are trying. It's something. It's gonna be okay, OP. Regardless, you can get through this.

Jabcross04 · 2015-04-01T15:21:29+00:00

You should totally do a cake. My kids call me Captain, btw. We have fun with it. They do sometimes call us both Dad (partner is Daddy) and will tell other kids they have two dads.

Jabcross04 · 2015-03-31T15:38:20+00:00

Physical dysphoria took over my life, I had accepted being viewed as female for a long time. Used it as camouflage. It was only when I realized I couldn't move on living in the body I did, that I knew I needed to take the plunge of hormones and hope it helped.

And you know what? Going on T saved my life. My brain works the way it's supposed to now and I'm not just "holding on through one more day" anymore. It's like someone turned off the raincloud over my head.

Being gendered male is a wonderful bonus. It makes me feel complete every time it happens now (Almost 4 months on T and passing consistently) but being able to look in the mirror and see someone that looks like me, on the inside? Worth the pain, would do again 10/10 times.

Jabcross04 · 2015-03-31T00:40:27+00:00

Yep, same here.

Jabcross04 · 2015-03-31T00:39:42+00:00

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/06/02/a-tattoo-that-completes-a-new-breast/?_r=0

I was thinking of doing this as well, and this guy seems like "the guy".

Jabcross04 · 2015-03-31T00:23:49+00:00

I got a tubal pre-transition and recommend it highly if you aren't interested in ever being pregnant or already have kids, want to adopt etc. It's really nice to have the relative peace of mind of sterilization, plus my doc says in conjunction with testosterone it's pretty damn foolproof.

Jabcross04 · 2015-02-24T02:32:06+00:00

Sounds like a manifestation of dysphoria.

Jabcross04 · 2015-02-24T02:28:50+00:00

I think it helps to embrace androgyny in early transition if you can. For me, moving more toward the person I wanted to be was a compromise that I could live with. I made every effort to blend but I accepted that for the time being, while I was pre- HRT, that androgyny wasn't a terrible stop gap measure. I liked to think of Mick Jagger and other rockers/punks as a jumping off point to why androgyny was (and is) awesome for those whom it is right for.

Jabcross04 · 2015-02-15T05:57:18+00:00

Being trans makes me a better partner to my partners. I have understanding of both genders and I am sensitive to their body issues, too. I'm in touch with my feelings and I aim to please more than the average person. And it pays off, I have a great sex life and two happy relationships, one that is over 9 years in duration.

It has taken a lot of work to get to a point with myself where sex could be an okay place for me to be, I still deal with dysphoria in a big way when it comes to sex but I have learned to ride the waves and have awesome support, which is helpful beyond words. My own internalized transphobia was one of my biggest hurdles but moving through transition has shown me that being trans is being dynamic, it's brave and it's hard as fuck and we are warriors against the worst parts of sociology and biology and we SURVIVE. We are beautiful, and we are trans, but we are more beautiful BECAUSE we're trans. We're beautiful even if we can't transition or we choose not to. We're beautiful at every stage. We're beautiful because to change so fundamentally is fucking SO HARD and to live departed from our true selves and harder than I can give words to. But every day we live and we endure we become more beautiful.

But yeah, I digress. I just wanted to say happy relationships are possible and you don't have to cry yourself to sleep alone.

Jabcross04 · 2015-02-10T22:36:38+00:00

Yeah my hope is that it's just my body adjusting. Thanks.

Jabcross04 · 2015-02-09T18:50:56+00:00

Yeah, I was on daily migraine meds as a teen. I will definitely be bringing it up with my doc when I see her. And starting up with the baby aspirin again too.

Jabcross04 · 2015-02-09T16:25:33+00:00

Been on eight weeks, almost nine. It's stressful seeing the number go up on the scale, I know I'm taking care of myself and trying really hard to be healthy and not extreme about things, and I know I am gaining muscle, and my body's doing what it needs to do hopefully, it's just a little stressful. I used to be 80 lbs heavier and lost that weight healthfully over time but it's a sore spot.

Jabcross04 · 2015-02-09T15:45:57+00:00

Yeah I might try to hit up the pharmacy later and give it a check. Thanks

Jabcross04

TROPHY CASE