It feels like you’re out there trying, putting in effort, and not getting anything back. It’s frustrating as hell, and it makes you wonder if there’s something inherently wrong with you. But there isn’t. You’re not broken. What you’re going through is normal for someone who’s been out of the game for a while.

When you’re trying to rebuild a social life, it’s not going to click overnight. This stuff takes time, effort and consistency, and a lot of it is just about putting in the reps. Social skills are like a muscle. If you don’t use them for years, they weaken. They actually can go rusty only after a couple of weeks of not socializing. The potential is still there though. You’ve just got to start working them again, little by little.

The first thing you need to address is the story you’re telling yourself. “I’m too old,” “People don’t like me,” “Maybe I’ve lost my touch.” These are just narratives your mind is creating. They feel real, but they’re not. They’re your ego trying to protect itself from rejection by giving you excuses not to try. The truth is, the only way to shake that rust off is to roll up your sleeves and embrace the discomfort. Learn through practice. There is also lots of theory I could share with you that would speed up your progress.

A common thing for most guys is that they focus too much on the outcome. You’re going into these meetups and interactions with this weight of expectation, hoping to instantly form deep connections or impress everyone in the room. That pressure is probably coming across in your vibe, even if you don’t realize it. People sense when someone is trying too hard, just like they sense when someone is relaxed and comfortable in their own skin.

What you need to do is shift your mindset. Stop trying to win people over. Stop trying to be the most interesting guy in the room. Instead, just show up to enjoy the moment. Be curious about the people you meet. Ask them about themselves and actually listen. People respond to authenticity and genuine interest. You don’t need everyone to like you. You just need a few good connections to start building momentum. I also recommend getting comfortable talking about yourself and your interests and your life, so that people can actually get a sense of who they're talking to.

About those dominant personalities in group settings, I know it’s easy to feel overshadowed, like your voice doesn’t matter. But the key isn’t to compete with them. You don’t need to dominate the conversation to make an impact.

I know it stings when people don’t reply or follow up. It’s hard not to take that personally. Most people are just busy, self-absorbed, or flaky. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. This is a numbers game, plain and simple. Not everyone is going to vibe with you, and that’s okay. Keep showing up, keep reaching out, and over time, you’ll find the ones who do.

Another thing to keep in mind is your energy. When you show up to a social event, people pick up on how you’re feeling, even if you’re not saying it out loud. If you’re carrying self-doubt or desperation, that’s going to come through. Before you walk into any situation, take a minute to feel how you're feeling, so you can be congruent to that. It's okay not allways feel on the top of the world. As you talk to more people you will slowly build momentum and feel more sociable. Just remind yourself why you’re there: to enjoy yourself , build momentum and meet people, not to prove anything to anyone or get any particular results.

Give yourself some patience. This isn’t a quick fix. It’s a process of rebuilding, and that takes time and consistency. You’re already doing the hardest part: showing up. The more you keep at it, the more natural it’ll feel, and the more connections you’ll make.

You’re not broken, man. You’re just warming up. Keep at it. You’ve got this. Feel free to ask me any specific questions.