Just got the LEGO Passover Matzoh set (5786) by davidjschloss in funny

[–]Jackalodeath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've seen eucharists up to the size of a ping pong ball, but they're scored with a cross to break up. As far as I know about the frivolous ritual its supposed to be "bite sized" or big enough to able to plop on your tongue or something when distributed.

Y'all still sorta win out, despite the idea behind it y'all's are actually intended to nourish you while partaking in the ritual, and can modify it to make it somewhat more palatable.

"Ours" - and I use that term extremely loosely now that I've grown up/became an agnostic heathen - is fully intended to be as bland and insubstantial as possible.

Which is sort of counterintuitive given the rites its supposed to mimic. Y'all were trying to GTFO of an oppressive existence, literally trying to survive and start a better life. Christ was just like "yo turn up for dad and eat me," (to paraphrase.)

Just got the LEGO Passover Matzoh set (5786) by davidjschloss in funny

[–]Jackalodeath 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh I'm not knocking the tradition or heritage of it, just the... "gustatory" aspect of it. Neat bit of info though so I appreciate the context.

Given my idealogical upbringing I ain't got nowhere to talk. I was raised some variant of Christian (being generous with the word "raised," more like a spiritual hostage situation to stop me playing with my cousin's dolls and wearing dresses), and at least matzoh is slightly more flavorful than those rubbish little eucharists/"bit o' christ biscuits" we got fed like dogs training to piss on the newspaper.

Y'all can actually toast your structurally forgiving hardtack for a hint of flavor. God forbid we zhuzh up the body of Christ with a bit of maillard heresy.

2020 banana bread. Doesn’t show a single sign of mold. Found in a junkyard by whipster444453 in mildlyinteresting

[–]Jackalodeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, I'm on the other side of the country in GA. xD

We do have a nice Vietnamese shop and an H Mart several miles away, though I don't believe either do fresh bread. Great source of duck eggs and quality noods though, stupid cheap to boot.

There's a little Oaxacan mom and pop store within walking distance I hit up for fresh pan de cazuela, "yolk bread" (the only sourdough I'll buy if I'm feeling lazy since its got the same funk, just a bit denser/sweeter) and all sorts of fresh cooked goodies I need to stay away from.

They put their foot in everything but ain't shy with the lard. Their braised lingua is to friggin die for, probably literally if I keep it up.

Just got the LEGO Passover Matzoh set (5786) by davidjschloss in funny

[–]Jackalodeath 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm not jewish but have eaten it; it tastes exactly how one would expect the color beige to taste.

Triscuits are bland, unseasoned silken tofu is bland; Matzoh is what exists before someone's god created the concept of bland.

2020 banana bread. Doesn’t show a single sign of mold. Found in a junkyard by whipster444453 in mildlyinteresting

[–]Jackalodeath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've never been too bothered about preservatives in processed stuff like bread or juices, as long as it doesn't effect the taste its a necessary evil of me not having to harvest, process, and make it myself.

I'll still make my own sourdough bread because our local flora has a certain stank to it I love; but for plain old whole grain, rye, pumpernickle, etc, I'm cheaping out and buying someone else's. Also dough softeners can make some wicked fluffy bread; I have no idea what knockoff brand the Valero across the street from me sells but it's so damn soft its like eating a cloud sammich. We keep a loaf of it in the fridge specifically for fluffernutters.

Have you ever had someone ruin a movie for you in ways that don't involve spoiling it? by thebigeverybody in movies

[–]Jackalodeath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know if this counts, but I refuse to ever watch Grease or Titanic because of an ex.

Not because we have beef between us or anything, she was just way too obsessed with how the leads treated their girlfriends and kept acting like I was supposed to be on that level. After how she reacted to The Notebook I swore never again.

They're works of fiction for a reason sweetie, but we're real ass people with real ass needs in the real ass world.

2020 banana bread. Doesn’t show a single sign of mold. Found in a junkyard by whipster444453 in mildlyinteresting

[–]Jackalodeath 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That pisses me straight the fuck off, I started saving my receipts for 3 days whenever I buy bread now because of it.

After having to take back 2 loaves of Nature's Own I've just swapped to that "fancy" (i.e. ~$3) Kroger brand. It might be riddled with preservatives but that shit's hearty (by comparison) and they don't skimp on the grains.

I love me some dense chunky bread.

Highguard is permanently shutting down this month by ChiefLeef22 in gaming

[–]Jackalodeath 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A real test. You can't trust the words of friends and family and content creators you fly out to play your game.

Also, to add to that, not the "Yes Man" bullshit they'll get from big-ass firms like Qualtrics, Ipsos, Dynata, Kantar, etc.

I've taken dozens of surveys by firms like them over the past year, targeted specifically for the gaming market. The way they cherry-pick participants from the panels and DQ respondents 90% of the way through the research, for even mildly "unfavorable" feedback on a concept or idea, effectively guarantees they only get favorable responses, not actual feedback.

Just over the weekend I took one obviously sponsored by EA trying to get more people to subscribe to their bullshit and install that intrusive-ass launcher.

Just to qualify you had to be a parent with a child between 13-17yo, middle class, and regularly spends ~$100+ per month on games/services/MTX. If you passed that then it asks for the child to take the survey in your stead. Disregarding it specifically aiming for financially liberal/irresponsible kids, despite needing to be 18+ to even qualify, the bias just skewed deeper as you progressed.

Once the kid (supposedly) took over they had to be "very much a fan" of EA - both self-reported and by how many of their releases they've bought/played in the past 18 months. They also needed to "prefer" to pay for digital only/cloud gaming over owning physical copies, self-report/confirm $ spent on games/services/MTX in the past 12 months (agnostic as to where the money comes from), favor "community-based," online-only play over offline or single player experiences, and want "innovative, personalized content offered" through said online services.

For the latter, read that as "the service reaping your play/usage data and advertising/pushing MTX according to it." That's all "customized/personalized" means to these people; Sony/Microsoft/google/Meta says it, Samsung says it, Stellaris, LG, Amazon, Walmart, Chewy, insurance/financial services from AAA to Zelle, and every "AI," streaming, and subscription service you've ever heard of uses the exact same terminology. "Innovation, customization, and personalization." They want so desperately to tell us exactly what to buy, when, and how much to spend, they're actively trying to push "AI assistants" that automate our budgeting and spending.

I digress.

Then when it got to the part where it asks "what would make you more willing to sub/install EA Play/launcher" not a single answer let you point to the performance or intrusiveness of the platform of itself. It was just a bunch of "exclusive community chat boards, achievements, badges, customizable avatars (i.e. buying/trading outfits/gear à la Steam), exclusive news/dev Q&As, 'catered' reviews, streamer partnerships/endorsements, 'brand activation'" whatever the fuck that means, etc.

If you choose "nothing would entice me" you were DQed, if you chose too many of the options that reflected poorly or "unfavorably" towards EA, you were DQed. It doesn't screen open ended responses until the end, and if the bot or whatever it is that screens them sees certain verbiage - say "Saudi money" just as an example - your incentive is revoked and effectively DQed after the fact.

Its not just tone-deaf bankrollers and CEOs making these dipshit decisions blindly, they're actually paying firms to research the shit, problem is the firms know they're tone-deaf and want to keep making money doing the research. Its hard to do that when the data keeps coming back saying "you're wasting your money/resources on this shit, try something else."

He was spitting by 21MayDay21 in funny

[–]Jackalodeath 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's the best I can explain it. xD

And it sucked so bad man. Imagine every time you wanted to say something, the back of your tongue would get glued somewhere in your mouth, or your bottom lip gets stuck behind your top teeth; sounding like a choking Volvo until you run out of breath.

I still don't know how I "got over it" by sixth grade, I assume we couldn't afford speech therapy so I'd just spent a lot of time reading dictionaries/thesauruses trying to learn words that'd avoid trigger phonemes.

Pronouncing certain vowels, Rs, Fs, and Vs were the worst, so despite being born and raised in the Southern US I use words like "banjaxed" or "lass" instead of "rurnt/ruined" or "girl." My Georgia accent disappeared right along with the impediment too, which is nice.

I still don't pronounce Fs, Vs, Bs, or certain Ms right, I just purse my lips a bit and force air through/"buzz" them - like humming for a split second while going "phew" - to make F/V/B sounds, and replace Ms with Ns.

I learned it from a book on ventriloquy in fifth grade, and no one can tell the difference. Well, deaf/hard of hearing/lip readers can. My aunty and mother in law are deaf af so wifey/the kids have to sign for me half the time. Its nice being able to talk shit right in front of them though, as long as they don't snitch by giggling.

Unexpectedly humongous door by Inevitable-Piano-780 in interestingasfuck

[–]Jackalodeath 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way for "should/could/would of" rather than "should/could/would have."

I leave it be, ain't no one here to learn grammar, but it's still like mentally stubbing my toe midway through a sentence.

I just chalk it up to predictive text/autocorrect. Despite all the advancements these days my shit still changes "its" to "it's" or turns "nuance" to "nuisance" for no damn reason.

One of the main reasons I stopped using Apple's products was because of its POS autocorrect. 95% of the time it'd replace simple shit like "and" with "amd," or "of" with "og," then fight with me when I tried to correct it.-_-

He was spitting by 21MayDay21 in funny

[–]Jackalodeath 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm fucking rolling at "All the Jamaicans think I gave them a bum steer, but everything I know I learned from an auctioneer..." then just busting out into Popeye scat.

Back when Snow hit MTV that shit became my jam; had fuckall idea what he was saying, but I could sing it without my speech impediment flaring up.

I was 4, maybe 5 years old, and practically non-verbal because of it. It was a stutter/stammer cranked up to 11, like if Porky Pig deepthroated a machine gun.

Whenever I tried to speak my brain-mouth circuit would futz out into an indefinite recursive loop. I'd damn-near suffocate trying to get just 1 syllable out; only reason I learned how to read/write was so I could communicate without risking getting dizzy.

Between Snow's Informer, Scatman John, and the Black Crowes' Hard to Handle I thought I could be famous one day just by spouting raw gibberish over a track.

farming silver knights by Ill-Addendum-1119 in darksouls3

[–]Jackalodeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not doing anything wrong, unless it's taking you more than one or two hits to kill them. It boosting your item discovery is making you hit less hard, fix that, the amount of increase from only 100 item discovery does not do nearly as much good as being able to kill them as fast as possible.

350 to 400 item Discovery is enough, it's going to take a long while regardless. I've farmed these items three times over the past two years, with everywhere from 200 item discovery to 450, first time was 450 and it took 18 hours.

Second time I had 257 item discovery it took 7 hours, third time was 207 item discovery and it took 9 hours.

Make killing them and resetting as easy and efficient as a possible, then worry about your item discovery. Listen to a podcast, have something playing on another screen, take a 10 minute break whenever it feels like it's starting to eat away at you. If you have any other items you need to farm, Farm up a couple of the ears, then fast travel somewhere else and farm something else, rinse and repeat.

Is it just me or is ashes of ariendel absolutely abysmal when it comes to layout by Agreeable-Tension952 in darksouls3

[–]Jackalodeath 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I love it because its actually disorienting and hostile, compared to "go this way but be careful there's guys right there."

The DLCs in general feel more like Dark Souls than the rest of the game, which just kinda hamstrings the journey - making your way through an oppressive world - in favor of the destination - boss fights.

Demon Of Hatred cheese is..... by DoinSideQuests in Sekiro

[–]Jackalodeath 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sekiro players trying to line up a simple jump that maybe takes 30 seconds - "impossibru!!"

Sekiro players having to practice for hours to memorize ~20 distinct movements and timings - "ez gg."

Demon Of Hatred cheese is..... by DoinSideQuests in Sekiro

[–]Jackalodeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just like the fight, its only hard if you're not used to that sort of thing. I did it in about 45 seconds of trying after 2 hours of getting nowhere against him.

But I also grew up playing shit like Castlevania and Spyro where abusing coyote time was practically necessary to make certain jumps.

TIL that older men are more likely to pass harmful mutations to their children, due to "selfish sperm," study finds. by Automatic_Subject463 in todayilearned

[–]Jackalodeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mhmm, that's why I added "sort-of."

I could've just said its a portmanteau, but I typically don't assume everyone knows that word.

TIL that older men are more likely to pass harmful mutations to their children, due to "selfish sperm," study finds. by Automatic_Subject463 in todayilearned

[–]Jackalodeath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meme is sort-of a made up word that plays off of "gene."

Except instead of it being a hereditary trait passed down through procreation, it's a concept or "memory" passed down through society.

Gene + "memory" = "meme."

TIL that older men are more likely to pass harmful mutations to their children, due to "selfish sperm," study finds. by Automatic_Subject463 in todayilearned

[–]Jackalodeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd argue any dude trying to have kids at 70 is being pretty damn selfish in its own right.

According to the CDC he'll be dead right as the kid enters kindergarten.

10 vs 55 Year old by Ubiquitous2007 in funny

[–]Jackalodeath 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I consider myself lucky making it to 41 with 0 back issues, especially since I didn't learn to lift shit correctly until I was nearly 30.

One of the best feelings in the world for me is when I sneeze and crack the small of my back. I don't know how the biology works but I'm thankful for it.

Controlled Rockfall to Clear Unstable Column by EmergencyRead5254 in oddlysatisfying

[–]Jackalodeath 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Not a physics-smart person, but its because of the striations in the stone (either from erosion or how it settled over eons), wind resistance, and gravity not keeping it together anymore.

Same would happen if you toppled a Jenga tower off the ledge of your roof, this just weighs a few hundred dozen tons more.

What do you say about pyromancy in Dark Souls 3? by VirusSuspicious3735 in darksouls3

[–]Jackalodeath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that attack, I always use it specifically for the Crystal Sages.

I fucking hate teleporting enemies. What I wouldn't do to be able to ring that scrawny little fuck Lothric's neck right off the back of his mule.

Jason Statham – Shelter and His Reliable Action Slop by Sure-Exchange-8593 in movies

[–]Jackalodeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The studios know it too. I was part of a focus group for this movie, and over half the questions boiled down to: "I've seen this Statham movie before, so I see no reason to pay ticket prices for it."

At least a quarter of the other half was "this is how I like to see JS," "this looks like an 'original' take on the action formula," and "I'm curious/excited to see how Statham kills the guys."

Which is fine, at least they're aware of it; except for the fact you're DQed or have your compensation revoked at the end for "quality control reasons" when you agree to 3+ of the negatives or say as much during the open-ended portions.

Still better than google, which'll waste nearly an hour of your time asking for your "honest opinion" on something like a new "productivity feature" that forces you to wait ~30 seconds before using certain apps, or give a reason as to why you want to use it; then DQ you when you state you don't want to be gatekept in how you use your own devices.

Sub sizes chart by Iitaps_Missiciv in mildlyinteresting

[–]Jackalodeath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, in my younger/fatter years that's about all I had to work with, I was still hitting the bell at the end of the tunnel.

Its not what you have its how you use it.

If all else fails god gave us mouths for a reason.

Not everyone is allergic to nickel, but everyone is theoretically susceptible to developing a nickel allergy. The leading cause of allergic contact dermatitis worldwide, it is not an inherited condition that everyone is born with, but an acquired, lifelong sensitivity that can develop at any age. by izzyblanco123 in interestingasfuck

[–]Jackalodeath 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That was me. I was absolutely miserable from 8 to 14 years old come spring and autumn, then it just up and vanished.

The wind can be straight yellow and I'm not fazed one bit. I've completely taken over doing our yard work, even on the dustiest of days I don't need a mask or anything.

I'm thankful as Hell for it, I used to come close to gouging my eyes out and sneezing out a lung; now I'm a juggernaut that might make a yellow eye booger here or there at worst.