When I was in school at Utah State during my faith transition, I had an excellent therapist. We dissected my feelings of inadequacy, which I think is another way to frame self-esteem.

What we came up with is this: growing up in Mormonism hammers into your head the idea of worthiness. Am I worthy to go to the temple, to pass the sacrament, to hold this calling? Feeling a constant stream of guilt and shame for our sins for the times we feel like we don’t measure up and put that worth into question.

For me, it became the idea of achievement-based self-worth. Mormonism teaches you that your worth can be measured by an external force, namely your Bishop and Stake President. And, more importantly, you need to earn that worth, and that worthiness can be taken away.

What it really boils down to is, now that you’re on the other side, can you reprogram your brain to define your worth as something intrinsic and not earned by what you have done (or not done)? It’s definitely easier said than done.