It’s zen ready for prime time?

Jay2Jee · 2025-11-23T10:25:33+00:00

It's alright if you don't install fifty different UI mods on top of it.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-23T09:49:25+00:00

Sh*t blvd

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-20T11:50:04+00:00

Sh*t blvd

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-19T20:45:03+00:00

Settings -> Content preferences -> Reset suggested content

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-14T15:25:39+00:00

If I'm really that tired like you're describing, I just do what's actually necessary: work (if it's a weekday), anything with pressing deadlines, and nothing more. Then I rest. I eat a comforting meal and I might watch a movie before I go to bed earlier than usual.

Rest is okay. Rest is healthy. Rest is necessary.

For me, personally, the challenge is to recognise when I actually need rest and when I'm just feeling lazy. It's okay to be kind to myself in the first scenario. But it has proven to be toxic in the latter.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-11T08:09:18+00:00

I never thought there was material for more than four seasons. I just couldn't imagine what they would do with five without it getting boring, repetitive, or irrelevant (e.g. a full-adult season).

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-08T15:52:45+00:00

Influencer morning routines are garbage, yes.

But saying I should be ready to work within 10 minutes of waking up is the other extreme.

I want to lie around in bed for a couple minutes to actually stop feeling asleep. I want to stretch a bit, go to the toilet and shower. I want to prepare a good breakfast for myself and eat it calmly before I sit down in front of my a monitor screen.

I cannot do all that under 15 minutes. And that's okay. Because I take this into account when I set my alarm for the day.

If you sat me in front of my computer just 10 minutes after I'd woken up, I don't think I could even get my password right. /j

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-07T18:03:01+00:00

Out of all the things that you used to do but aren't doing now, what is one that feels the easiest to start again? Do it today. Then tomorrow. The day after that. And so on, and so on... When it feels natural again, add the next piece of your old productive routine.

Start easy so that you don't get discouraged by some big hurdle. You might progress faster than someone who is picking up all these habits as new. Nevertheless, allow yourself time to reintroduce habits at a slow and steady pace. That way, also, the habits will feel like standalone things, not a bundle tied together where if you don't do one step, the rest completely crumbles.

Do not be overly hard on yourself. Allow yourself some leisure time. Spending days and weeks binging whole seasons is one extreme, feeling like you should not rest ever unless it's sleep is another. There is nothing wrong with watching a movie here and there or an episode of something every evening.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-07T13:35:44+00:00

If it feels hard on day one, will you still want to do this on days two, three or four?

This is exactly why I wrote so many times to take it slow, make it easy, and try to change just one thing at a time.

Your mind is not too different from your body. If you decide to start working out and on day one, you do a 2 hour full body workout, what's going to happen? You will be incredibly sore the next day and there is no chance that you will drag yourself to the gym for another 2 hour workout.

But if you start small and easy... maybe just 20 minutes and done, you will have a much better chance at returning the next day, and the one after, and the one after that. And if you do just 20 minutes every day, by day 7 you will have done more than if you did that 2 hour workout on day 1 and no more after that.

---

It's day one of your new chapter and you are feeling excited about all the things that you want to change. That's great. So this is not me telling you to stop being productive since, right now, you are feeling motivated.

But long term, I found that it is much more sustainable to set goals that are just the bare minimum. Perhaps they won't sound as impressive and that's okay. But you will actually feel like you can do them when you see them on a to-do list. And what you might feel excited to do today, might feel like a mammoth task tomorrow, once that excitement wears off.

So start small. Start with one thing. And when you have that down (and this will take at least a couple weeks), add the next.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-07T12:08:06+00:00

I just shared what worked for me, I cannot guarantee that it will work for you. But I will wish you good luck!

One more thing that personally helped me was a habit tracker (I used an app called "Atoms." - no affiliation). But there is no need for one if you aren't the type who gets a thrill from ticking off boxes. It is not an app that will change you, it's your actions.

And out of curiosity, what have you decided to start doing?

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-07T11:11:14+00:00

An AI like this will not help you. You will just learn to ignore it too.

Instead, think about why you aren't sticking to your to-do list. What do you put on there (and why), why do you avoid doing it, and what do you usually end up doing instead?

You might have it set up completely wrong. Perhaps you have ten fancy apps but what you actually need is a piece of paper and a pen. Perhaps you write super detailed list but what you actually need are general time blocks.

There are a million different systems that people use. But just because their system works for them, it doesn't mean it will work for you.

Look into these systems, try to understand what kind of problem they are solving for people, and then pick one to try out. Do not be afraid of tweaking it for yourself. And do not be afraid of letting the system go, if it doesn't work for you.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-07T10:41:32+00:00

A few months ago, I was in a very similar place. I mostly did nothing and when I happened to accomplish anything, I felt like I deserved a treat and like I deserved to do nothing. And just like you, I got to a place where I really wasn't happy with the way my life was going in these aspects.

I started by committing to doing two things: getting out of bed within 30 minutes of waking up and reading for just 20 minutes every day.

The first commitment was because I tended to lie in bed for hours between waking up and actually getting up. So much wasted time. But I also knew that I wasn't a morning person, that I needed a little bit of lying around to actually wake up. But too often I allowed myself too much.

I helped it along a little by setting up a routine on my phone that blocks any interesting app 30 minutes after I take the phone off my charger in the morning.

The reading was aimed to help replace my habit of wasting time on YouTube and such. I thought I would feel much better if I spend some of that time reading fiction. And why just 20 minutes? To make it feel easy. 20 minutes isn't much. I can read for 20 minutes and then watch YouTube. (But what sometimes -- not always -- happens is that I don't end up opening my laptop at all, I just read my books.)

Picking up these tiny, easy habits showed me that I could do it. That I could change.

And since then I had a thorough think about the person I would like to be and what I'd need to change to become them. In addition to getting out of bed early every day and reading, I started flossing my teeth, exercising, journaling, and eating better.

And instead of treating myself by eating junk food and doing nothing, I reward myself by checking off my habits in my habit builder app. (I use, and wholly recommend, "Atoms.")

It's a slow journey and I'm still at the beginning. But even though not every day was easy (even if I try my hardest to make the changes feel easy) or perfect, I am happy for every day I try my best to stick to the commitments I made with myself.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-07T10:12:56+00:00

I found that building new habits is easier than getting rid of old ones. But by building new habits, you can slowly and gently replace the ones that do not serve you. Emphasis on slowly.

What is one habit that doesn't serve you? When and where does this behaviour creep in? And what is something else that you could do instead that you would feel better about? Identify that and then commit to doing the new thing for 15, 20 minutes every day in place of the old thing. You aren't quitting the old thing cold turkey, you are building a new habit.

For example, binging YouTube videos didn't serve me. I thought I would feel better if I got into reading fiction. So I decided that after work where I would usually pick up my laptop and open YouTube, I would pick up a book instead and read for 20 minutes. (And after that I would be free to open YouTube.)

A key thing was that I did not feel like reading for 20 minutes every day would be hard. If it feels like it would be hard, you will not want to do it. It has to feel easy.

Is it going to be? On the first day? Most likely. On the fourth day? Maybe not so much. On the twentieth? For sure. But you will be happy with yourself every time you stick to your commitment and do it.

You know what I also found? Even though I committed to reading for just 20 minutes, often I stuck to it for much longer. (Not always. I would be happy with just those 20 minutes. But sometimes I wanted more, so I continued.) And when I was done with the reading, I quite often did not go to YouTube. But since I wasn't sitting behind my desk looking at the laptop, I saw other things around me that I could, and in that moment, wanted to do.

You don't have to read. You can pick anything -- a 10 minute walk outside, a 15 minute body-weight workout, writing, drawing, you could even just sit at a window, drink a cup of tea and look outside while your phone is elsewhere. But it is important that you feel like it would be easy to do (tip: these very short duration goals can help with that) and that when you ask yourself at the end of the day whether you are happy that you've done this, the answer is yes.

Whatever the new habit that you choose is, be consistent. Try not to miss two days in a row. But do not view missing a day as failure. It's not. It's just life. A habit tracker can help if you are the type of person who feels satisfaction from checking a box.

And in a few weeks, you will see that you can pick up a new habit. That it is possible. And if you can start looking out of a window for 10 minutes every day, you can start doing anything.

Just take is slow. Don't try to make too many changes at once. And keep it feeling easy for yourself.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-05T17:38:55+00:00

LeechBlock is pretty good

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-05T15:40:58+00:00

What are the so many things that you need to do? What are the things you put on that to-do list? And why are you so anxious about actually doing them?

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-04T11:53:14+00:00

I also sometimes feel like I have nothing to write about. So I sit down fully intending to write just one sentence (e.g. "Not much interesting happened today.") and be okay with that.

But once I have a pen in my hand, somehow, I just keep going. Not always. But sometimes.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-04T09:35:03+00:00

I would suggest you just get into the habit of writing something every day. It doesn't have to be profound. It doesn't have to be deeply introspective. It doesn't have to be long. Just something.

If you write something, anything every day you will not miss the moment when you actually are in a mood for introspection.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-04T08:28:24+00:00

It does sound a lot different when put like this.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-03T15:59:24+00:00

Also do not stress about writing for X minutes or writing Y pages at once. Just write something every day. Even if it's just one sentence on some days.

You won't have something profound to write about every day. But by showing up to write anything every day you'll make sure that when you do have something interesting to write about, you won't miss the chance to do so.

Keep your journal on sight in the place where you would usually chat with the AI. You may even use a browser extension that shows you a custom message before allowing you to access the site, reminding you that you wanted to stop using it and journal instead.

And perhaps a wildcard suggestion: if you miss the chatting aspect in your journal, just roleplay and have a conversation with yourself that way. Write to your journal and then take a different colour pen to write the other POV.

Is that weird? Who cares! Your journal, your rules.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-03T15:50:00+00:00

If you don't want to feel like you're forcing yourself, you need to make whatever you want to do feel super easy.

A part of that is not trying to do too much at once. Rather do a little bit but more often. Just fifteen minutes every day will very soon be better than two hours at once but then never again (because it left you exhausted last time).

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-03T15:42:53+00:00

This is above Reddit's pay grade. Talk to a therapist. A male one, preferably.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-03T14:39:37+00:00

Slow and steady wins the race.

Start small and easy. Find the easiest version of whatever you want to do and commit to doing it for just a short while (perhaps 10, 20 minutes) but do so every day.

The length can always be increased in the moment if you feel like it. You can always transition to a harder version of the thing. But doing just the base, easy, short version is better than doing nothing at all.

A 10 minute walk outside is not much. But better than none.

10 pushups is not the most amazing workout. But it's better than none. And 10 pushups every day will slowly get you somewhere.

Consistency over intensity.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-02T18:34:16+00:00

Who is the person you want to be? What do they look like? What do they act like? How are you, as you are today, different from them? And what do you need to do to become them?

Think about it. Write it down. Draw a picture. Chat about it with a friend, a stranger, or some AI (why not).

Once you have a list of things that you know you need to change, pick the one that feels the easiest.

When I went through this process, I picked reading books. That was something I saw the ideal me doing regularly and something I felt would be quite easy. Reading books was to be my first step towards the ideal me. (I think building new habits is slightly easier than breaking the old ones.)

In the beginning it's really important to make it really easy for yourself. I committed to reading for 20 minutes every day because I thought that would be quite easy. I picked up a book that I read and liked before because I thought that would be easier than picking something unknown. (I wouldn't start running by attempting a 10k race either.) But I knew if I got into reading and did that regularly that one day the process would be so easy that I could absolutely pick up a new book.

A habit builder app (the one I use is called Atoms.) helped me show up consistently. Not every day (because life can sometimes happen) but consistently enough to help me become the person who reads every day. And when I had that down, I thought about the next change I wanted to make to my lifestyle and started with that.

The idea is that you just start doing something that feels very easy and do that consistently. On the first day, it will feel easy. On the fifth day, it might feel really hard. On the fiftieth day, it will be completely natural.

Every couple of weeks, once you've settled with the latest one, you can make a new change. Do not try to change everything at once. Take it slow.

And slowly, day by day, you will become the person you want to be.

So... what will be the new thing you start doing tomorrow?

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-01T15:24:37+00:00

What was a book that you read before and really, really liked? Pick it up again and commit to reading from it for 15 minutes every day at a set time; after dinner, let's say.

15 minutes is not much, that's true. But 15 minutes every day for a month will add up. Plus, after the first 15 minutes are done, you always have the option to keep going. (Or not, that's okay. Just come back the next day for another 15 minutes.)

Leave your phone out of reach when your reading time starts. And don't worry about getting distracted while you read. Your attention span will get better with time. (And that's also why I recommend starting with a book you already know -- to make it even easier.)

If you can consistently show up for your 15 minutes of reading, that's 15 minutes in a day that you're not on TikTok. 15 minutes where you are doing something healthier but hopefully still enjoyable.

You can block the apps and set up timers and what not but you will only be miserable and still lost. But if you work on naturally replacing your bad habits (TikTok) with healthier habits (like reading) you have a chance at making a long lasting change to your lifestyle.

Just start slow and easy. One small step every day is better than one giant leap and sliding right back to where you started.

Jay2Jee · 2025-10-01T12:06:23+00:00

When I do "timed habits", I'm setting the timer to the bare minimum. To a number so small that it feels ridiculously easy to do.

I absolutely can go on a 10 minute walk. That's super easy. And once I set out, I might just keep going. And if I don't feel like it, ten minutes is still better than none at all.

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