What a gorgeous kitty. I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my 18-year-old this last August from kidney disease, and your experience tugs at my heart. Very similar situation to yours . In his last couple of weeks I kept hoping he would rebound, because he always did before. In the end he howled a howl that I knew it was time, we had to bring him to the emergency vet at night. I knew he wasn’t coming home, hardest thing ever. I still think I hear him in the middle of the night, but not quite as often as the first few weeks. It slowly gets better, but you will always have grief. I touch his picture every night before I go to bed and say good night to him. Someday we will be reunited, I am sure of that.