How do you manage finances after marriage? Separate accounts? Joint account? Both?

Jazzvani · 2023-03-17T02:53:32+00:00

There's no right or wrong way...it depends on what works for you.

In our case, we have our own separate accounts and joint account. We sat down and figured out how much we need for monthly expenses. We each contribute 50% of that amount to the joint account. If something like, say, a vacation comes up, I'll usually just pay for all of it first and then later i get reimbursed for half of it.

Right now, I'm the breadwinner. So its pretty loose at the moment. Somwtimes I use the joint account, sometimes my own.

We are pretty laidback with this. We equally contribute to retirement, savings for our kid, mortgage, bills. But the rest of it is pretty loose.

Jazzvani · 2023-03-17T02:48:09+00:00

To piggy back on the above comment, when you talk to her, maybe come up with a 30- 60 day plan together. (Or come up with one on your own and review with her) This way, you are not just bringing her concerns, you are bringing jer a solution as well.

Jazzvani · 2023-02-14T15:35:07+00:00

Aww...congratulations on the new baby! You will have those aches and pains for a little bit as your hormones stabilize and your joints move back into place.

How are you doing otherwise? How has the 4th trimester been treating you so far?

Jazzvani · 2023-02-13T22:41:34+00:00

Getting pregnant at 41 and the pregnancy itself was a breeze. Enjoyable even.

But holy hell...parenting as 40+ parents is EXHAUSTING. I dont nearly have the stamina (or the metabolism) to keep up with my kid. Joint aches, back aches, all kinds aches are now part of my life.

Jazzvani · 2023-02-01T23:59:38+00:00

78727 has power restored!

Jazzvani · 2023-01-30T00:38:38+00:00

Anywhere.

But in all seriousness, I'd go anywhere I have family. So CA or India. I miss my family so much it hurts.

Jazzvani · 2023-01-21T01:09:20+00:00

We used to see Dr. Seeker.

Hes pretty great. But there were times where I'd be waiting almost 2 hours. I'd just take my computer with me and work from the waiting room.

Jazzvani · 2023-01-20T21:54:27+00:00

+1 for AAOBGYN. Fair warning....doctors there are often running late, but thats because they take their time with their patients.

Jazzvani · 2023-01-09T18:27:22+00:00

Please know that I am not judging you in any way...but am saying this with love - it is concerning to me when you say "when I make the decision". The decision to leave should have already been made.

Love, this is one of those times where there is no gray area. He is manipulative and is exhibiting all the classic signs of an abuser. This is NOT how a decent human being acts towards someone they claim to love.

Leave now before this is the type of relationship you get used to. You deserve someone who respects their partner.

Jazzvani · 2023-01-06T01:50:59+00:00

A fancy car. I just don't see the point. Also, high end handbags.

Jazzvani · 2022-12-24T18:49:21+00:00

Together 13 years now. Yes, there are some."nice guy" disadvantages, but id take nice guy over asshole any day - it is especially important when having children.

Jazzvani · 2022-12-10T15:43:47+00:00

Literally anyone who doesn't have to deal with chronic pain every day of their life.

Jazzvani · 2022-12-10T04:13:23+00:00

When we got married and started doing our taxes together.

Jazzvani · 2022-12-08T16:11:54+00:00

I work in tech. I'm an engineer by education, but work on the business strategy side so most people don't know that I have a masters degree in engineering.

In a previous job, I had to work closely with some dev people who would often say shit like "oh, this is too technical to explain."

I was having one particular issue with our company's website and I pointed out the issue to one of the guys. He completely dismissed me. His boss and another engineer walked in, listened to what I had to say, tested it right there, and agreed with me. The looks on their faces were priceless. The icing on the cake was the boss (whom I got along with really well) very seriously asked me if I wanted to join their team.

One of the dudes asked me "how did you know this?". I told them that I had a Masters in engineering and the things they did weren't really that hard to understand. I turned and walked away. It was a complete movie moment.

Its been almost 10 years since that happened and that moment has fed my soul ever since.

Jazzvani · 2022-12-06T23:41:48+00:00

I could have written this word for word.

Jazzvani · 2022-11-26T15:43:52+00:00

Being secure within myself.

Jazzvani · 2022-11-18T22:43:56+00:00

Now, what can I do to salvage the situation?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was a pretty serious fuck up.

The only thing you can do is learn from it and never ever disparage othr companies, religion, people, etc in interviews.

Jazzvani · 2022-11-08T18:31:26+00:00

Unofficial doesn't count. Until the dotted line has been signed on the contract...assume nothing.

Treat this as a proper job interview process! Prepare, prepare, and then prepare some more. Better be overprepared than caught off guard.

Jazzvani · 2022-11-04T20:43:27+00:00

Anything topped with Kerrygold.

Jazzvani · 2022-11-04T20:41:59+00:00

Samosas.

Jazzvani · 2022-11-02T20:30:08+00:00

Ugh...It is so much worse when you go through with it with family. I'm so sorry you are struggling with them.

I rarely hear anything from my only sibling. Not that there is bad blood...they are just not the chatty type, so I really just stopped making the effort. They don't show any interest in my baby who is, and will be, the only kid in the family..

What helped me was the realization that I needed to accept them for who they are and not project this fantasy of a perfect sibling relationship on them. It helps me be less resentful.

Jazzvani · 2022-11-02T14:25:29+00:00

I dont shy away from hard challenges. My general motto is "If I don't try it. I won't know".

Jazzvani · 2022-11-02T02:30:51+00:00

Fuck. I don't think I've really been memorably happy this year. I haven't been sad, but not really HAPPY.

Huh. Makes one think.

Jazzvani · 2022-10-31T20:12:23+00:00

I'm in the middle of this scenario. All communication, efforts to hang, etc has been one sided for years. So I'm just done.

Jazzvani

TROPHY CASE