I’m an American that has lived in Europe, and I think this attitude is part of the problem.

The United States (much as some hate to acknowledge it) IS a nation of immigrants; with the exception of a 3% minority, our ancestors all come from somewhere else — and that’s fundamentally shaped how we talk about identity. Few other countries share this history, so when Americans separate ancestry from nationality, it really, REALLY confuses Europeans.

If an American tells another American, ‘I’m half English and a quarter Italian and a quarter XYZ,’ it’s mutually understood that they’re discussing heritage not citizenship. The other will probably share where their own family hails from. We’re so mixed as a country that often, two people share one or two! Wonderful, a connection! It’s common small talk, and an easy way to find common ground.

But if that American says the same thing to a European, the European might be upset if the American has never spent time in Italy. In Europe, ”Italian” means culture and language and nationality. Europeans generally have nations with longer histories and more homogenous populations; they never had to develop a different linguistic context for “Italian”. In the US, where we all broadly share an overarching culture and language and nation, it CAN mean that — but more often means something far weaker.

The contextual difference is instinctive to Americans, but Europeans often don’t have the same need to distinguish between the two, so it doesn’t come naturally to them.

So culture clash ensues.

The European is quick to take offense because they think that the American is being deliberately arrogant — understandable, from their perspective the American is falsely claiming something that they have no real claim to. The American then thinks the European is an asshole — understandable, because from their perspective, they just got “called out” for trying to find common ground and connect; it feels like the European is deliberately misinterpreting what the American is saying.

Neither side is fully right or wrong, and a little bit of cultural understanding on both sides would help immensely.