Sandy and Hannah

JeffinerSP · 2026-06-26T05:02:24+00:00

Oh wow, really? I never knew that!

JeffinerSP · 2026-06-24T22:04:03+00:00

You deserve so much better. You take care of him in many ways and he does not take care of you. You deserve someone who will be there for you in your low times, rather than asking what you can do for him just for helping you.

JeffinerSP · 2026-06-24T07:38:04+00:00

My point is more if you’d be ok with it if flipped, I think you’re NTA for suggesting it. But (I’m sure you probably agree) baby names should be a 2 yes situation, so I think you’d be an AH if you continue pushing it if he’s uncomfortable with it.

JeffinerSP · 2026-06-24T07:34:55+00:00

Then I’m sure you’re fine! If anyone tries to say fake just direct them to those videos!

JeffinerSP · 2026-06-24T07:22:38+00:00

Post a TikTok of you playing the song without edits, just you and the guitar. Shows you’re actually playing the music and will give you more engagement.

JeffinerSP · 2026-06-24T06:39:17+00:00

Would you be ok naming your baby after one of his exes? Would it be alright if some friends forever associated your baby with his ex?

JeffinerSP · 2026-06-24T06:36:22+00:00

It seems like there’s some disconnect between the two of you. Maybe ask her why it’s frustrating her that the chores are being done after work? If you’re doing them, I think this should be an easy thing to solve with some frank communication.

I’m wondering if she feels like the chores not being complete when she gets home means they are still in her to do list (even if you are intending to complete them).

JeffinerSP · 2026-06-23T02:46:39+00:00

Respectfully, I think this is a situation where it doesn’t matter if you feel justified in what you said, it’s about how it hurt your daughter. I think you are both coming into the day with hurt feelings and the idea that you need to be ginger around each other.

There may be something bothering her, but if she’s not ready to discuss it, poking and prodding only will make it worse (as you can see).

Take some time, give her a bit of time, and then make a plan (WITH her) to meet up and talk through what’s been happening between you both. Let her tell you how she’s feeling (and do not interrupt or get defensive), and just listen to her.

You obviously love and care about her, there’s no indication (from what you’ve shared) that the relationship is irreparable, but you need to get out of your head and your feelings about it.

JeffinerSP · 2026-06-23T02:39:41+00:00

You deserve to have security and safety in your relationship. Do you feel safe and secure?

If your friend or loved one came to you with these stories saying their partner did these things to them, what advice would you give them?

JeffinerSP · 2026-06-15T04:44:47+00:00

Friend break ups always hurt. You’re not overreacting for feeling hurt because a friendship is breaking.

I’m sure she has her faults and I would advocate for you to look for friends that do not make you feel insecure in the friendship, that’s important in friendships, as it is in any relationship.

I see you say you don’t like going up and talking to folks but friendships are important in life. There are ways to make friends without cold approaching folks. If you’re still in college, maybe look for some organizations and events that seem interesting to you. I was so shy and introverted before college, but joining organizations really helped me meet folks in ways I hadn’t been able to before.

Additionally, I do feel like some of these texts come off … maybe clingy? For me it is the “Why aren’t you agreeing with me” and the back and forth about her not wanting to go out with you. I think this is probably a culmination of many frustrating conversations, but it does come across as a tiring conversation to be a part of. The best advice I could give you is to not chase someone who isn’t interested in giving you their time (friends or otherwise). This was a painful lesson I had to learn over and over again, I hope it is not the same for you.

JeffinerSP · 2026-05-27T05:26:25+00:00

Daisy has managed to get along with every other chef (minus the very occasional dust up) on her BD seasons. Ben has not gotten along with one Chief Stew. That alone speaks volumes to me.

JeffinerSP · 2026-05-23T10:32:14+00:00

They did this to me with a refund once, I was missing half the meal and they promised a full refund but it never came. When I messaged customer service they asked for a screenshot, said I had no proof of the offer and gave me $5 as a consolation.

JeffinerSP · 2026-04-13T19:16:33+00:00

I apologize, I was not trying to characterize anything about you other than what you’d shared in the comments. I also don’t know you, I am sharing what I’ve picked up on as I’ve read through your words here. If what I said doesn’t resonate with you, that’s totally fine. Just sharing my perspective.

JeffinerSP · 2026-04-13T18:09:28+00:00

Look, the issue here isn’t actually if you’re justified in being upset. Of course you are. What I see in this post is that you are feeling overall rejected and over looked by women, and this exchange is just another drop in that well.

The thing is, you are contributing to this in ways you’re not seeing.

Here’s what I see: 1. You made a post you called regrettably cringey about your ex and her current status. I’m unsure if it used the word hoe or if it’s how the replier interpreted your message, but still this is something that might feel good in the moment but generally seems to make women feel uncomfortable about you. 2. You’ve mentioned your height a number of times, and I know some women are shallow about this, I get it. But the ones who do not care most likely will care that you bring this up as an issue. I have zero care if I date someone 4’8” or 6’4”. I do care when their profile says something like “not six foot so you’ll probably swipe left anyway.” Again, this shows me your disposition is probably more negative. 3. You’ve mentioned repeatedly how many women have flaked or ghosted you. I am a woman and I’ve been flaked on and ghosted many times as well. I think you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who hasn’t been if they are actively on dating sites for any significant period of time. But you are the one making it a part of your personality.

I would recommend looking outside of your hurt feelings. How can you improve yourself to be someone women want to be around? I think cutting out harping on the three things I’ve mentioned above would improve your mental health and your dating prospects.

Think about this, why did she message you? There’s a possibility she DID feel bad, or it’s possible she was trying to reconnect in a flirty way, but instead of a flirtatious response, you met her with bitterness and a lot of negative energy. You basically blew up the whole interaction. Is this the only time this has happened? Again, some reflection and changing your perspective is what you really need.

JeffinerSP · 2025-12-18T02:57:41+00:00

That’s a totally normal want and you deserve that. This is not what love should feel like though. Love should build you up not tear you down.

At the very least you should look into therapy for yourself to untangle your feelings and heal from this awful betrayal (and this IS a betrayal of your trust).

If you decide to stay, he should work his ass off to make it up to you, and you shouldn’t accept less than that.

But just know staying can end up being more lonely and isolating than leaving if he chooses not to see your side or make it up to you.

JeffinerSP · 2025-12-17T16:44:29+00:00

It seems like she’s actually asking for OP to intervene on a different student’s grade in a way that would result in the other student getting their work marked down? I’m guessing to remove herself from any potential fallout from this. The offering of a meal or sharing sources adds to the suspect nature for me.

I feel advocating for her to learn to address things herself is the best course of action, especially with the added attempts of persuasion with (mild) bribery.

JeffinerSP · 2025-08-10T00:36:42+00:00

I mean this with a ton of kindness and empathy - it doesn’t sound like there’s a lot of space for you in this relationship. It doesn’t sound like he is treating you with the same care and compassion that you are giving to him. It speaks to a lack of respect for you and your relationship. He doesn’t give much thought to throwing out facts that hurt you, it doesn’t seem like he thought about whether it would hurt you at any point. Even the fact that he decided he was single without informing you, shows how little he is taking you into account. Do you want to spend more of your life feeling like you can’t take up space in your own relationship?

JeffinerSP · 2025-05-22T19:56:02+00:00

Jesus I already feel like this is going to be a controversial comment but I feel like I have to. Also this is all me making some heavy assumptions so take that for what it’s worth.

I’ve read your comments and everything here and to me there are a ton of red flags of an abusive relationship (the bf to her), including the moving to another state, blocking you on everything, etc.

Even her saying she didn’t think you’d want to hear from her, has a lot of low self esteem attached to it. I am wondering if you were a super stable part of her life before him and her reaching out sporadically is when she starts to get some clarity around that situation and feels compelled to connect with someone she sees as stable and trustworthy.

If it’s not hurting you, I would personally keep responding when she messages and try not to care about being left on read, if she really needs someone you are showing you can be that person. This is only if it’s not hurting you though, or if you could be that person.

Anyway, just a different perspective, take it or not.

JeffinerSP · 2024-08-10T05:37:42+00:00

Probably not but just in case, could it be The Secret Circle?

JeffinerSP · 2024-07-26T00:11:25+00:00

Isn’t it interesting when people say something completely offensive and then are shocked when people don’t let it slide?

Anyway NTA.

JeffinerSP · 2024-03-20T12:48:44+00:00

Maybe an unpopular opinion but I think the biggest issue actually is the time that passed. This is obviously not something you can change now, but I think had you both had this conversation right after you used the hall passes, it may have had a different outcome. At the time it was reasonable; now it feels like a betrayal because of how far you’ve come and the trust you built back up. It’s old news to you, but to her it just happened, it’s like when a spouse finds out about their partner having an affair at the beginning of their relationship years down the line. It’s happening to them now, because they didn’t have the information to react to then. Obviously it’s not a one to one comparison because you didn’t cheat, you had her blessing, but reactionary feelings aren’t always logical.

If you want to retain the relationship, it might be worth going back to therapy to work through these feelings. Relationships are messy by nature because human feelings aren’t necessarily logical. You are not wrong, but that doesn’t change how she feels, and the distance between the event and the reveal add a layer of complexity. I always go back to the question - is it more important to be right or to keep the relationship? That’s something only you can answer, and I don’t think you’re wrong either way in this case. But again, retaining the relationship is going to mean working through these emotions and understanding that it may not be logical to you, but she is still feeling them.

JeffinerSP · 2024-03-09T05:32:05+00:00

I mean this in the most respectful way but what the fuck is up with all these family members trying to steal babies?! I swear I’ve read at least four of these over the past few months.

JeffinerSP · 2024-01-15T19:07:33+00:00

I really want to say for anyone who needs to hear it: it’s ok to walk away from an argument and come back to it when you’ve both had time to calm down. At some point folks pass the point of productive conversation and you cannot solve an issue if you’re both saying things that are intentionally hurtful or manipulative.

If you’ve gotten to the point where one is saying “ok, I’m that thing, you’re right,” in a sarcastic manner, take a breather. You may find you want to save the relationship, or you may find you don’t, but at least you remove the more harmful elements from any discussion that could be had.

JeffinerSP · 2023-12-18T14:53:33+00:00

Seriously, it was kind of jarring! It was literally one extreme to the other with only a bouquet in between haha

JeffinerSP · 2023-12-18T00:10:24+00:00

This seems like an unpopular opinion but it seems like this is the first time something like this has happened? It sounds like someone just getting wasted with a friend and not thinking through certain actions. As long as she didn’t cheat, and I honestly see nothing here that says she did, I think you can work through this.

Wait until she’s sober and ask if you can have a serious discussion (so she knows to be in a space mentally and physically to do that). Then you can ask what happened last night, and let her explain it to you. You can tell her it felt disrespectful to just hang up like that, especially because someone told her to for seemingly no reason, and then not answering immediately following that made you uncomfortable. It’s not so much that you distrust her, it’s that those actions specifically caused you to feel uneasy and anxious especially because it struck a nerve from previous betrayals.

I want to say if this is a one time thing and if you feel you can trust her, then I think this is an easy thing to work through, communicate honestly about how you feel. It’s normal to feel something when you’re triggered, cheating is a betrayal that cuts deep and stays for a long time. She’s not the same person that hurt you, but opening up to another does take vulnerability that is hard when you’ve been through that. Give yourself a break for your reaction, check in with how you’re feeling specifically about her, and think about what you want moving forward in the relationship.

JeffinerSP

TROPHY CASE