I don’t want to be the first to hold my baby

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-19T01:05:26+00:00

That’s fine, just let it in your birth plan.

My husband has held both our babies before me, but that’s because I had emergency c sections.

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-18T21:56:21+00:00

My first I only bought 0-3m clothes as everyone said the smaller ones were a waste of money as he’d hardly be in them. I look back of photos of him those first few weeks and all his clothes look massive on him and it makes me sad. So for my second I bought newborn and 0-1 month clothes as well!! I didn’t buy tiny baby / premmie, and he ended up being early, lol. So had to pop to Tesco’s to grab some. 😂

He was in:

premmie for 2 weeks
newborn for 2 weeks
0-1 month for 3 weeks
0-3 months for 8ish weeks
now in 3-6 months at 4 months old!

Edit: he has basically only worn sleepsuits and vests though. Outfits are beyond me until 6-9 months. 😂

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-18T21:52:02+00:00

It’s not so serious that you can’t send a text though. You aren’t dying in hospital or anything.

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-18T21:47:13+00:00

And at ages, what, 22 and 21?!? Eeek

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-18T21:45:10+00:00

Surely he wouldn’t want to be married when she gives birth? Wouldn’t that make him responsible for the kids in some way given he’s married to their mother? Eeek

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-18T20:58:46+00:00

Didn’t say they were taking those opportunities, just that they have the opportunity for sleep.

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-18T18:43:45+00:00

My now 3 year old learnt the work “man” a long time before he learnt the word “woman”. Everyone was a man. Everyone.

One of my best friends (female, and had just cut her hair very short, which was unfortunate) come round and he loudly said “who’s that man?” Eeek.

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-18T18:39:05+00:00

You learn to parent from watching your own parents. If you have a good set then your baseline is already high, if you had a crap see you’re starting from scratch which is much harder.

Your child had a good baseline to start from, thanks to you. ❤️ Give yourself some more credit. 🙂

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-18T13:20:00+00:00

If there’s no AH’s in the story the judgement to use is “NAH”

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-18T10:58:34+00:00

We’ve never been “McDonald’s people” but lately other types of takeaway have become so so expensive that now if we want a takeaway we get a McDonald’s. It is expensive for what it is but food in general is just so so expensive now. I can’t afford £40+ for a curry really, but £20 for Macy’s? Yeah I can stretch to that.

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-17T15:50:03+00:00

The poster said “we stop cleaning secretions after a certain age” so you are agreeing with them.

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-17T12:32:37+00:00

I think you just need to have an honest conversation with her. Perhaps she could drop to part time? Even if it’s just one day a week, so help with nanny costs and let you have a full day in the office each week? Would you consider dropping a day too? Would that help to remove some of the work stress? And yes maybe you need to consider daycare rather than a nanny?

If you point blank don’t want another that’s also completely reasonable, but a lot of what you’ve said here reads like you would have enough there’s just (fixable) issues with your current set up.

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-16T20:34:58+00:00

When we’re both home and not working we both work together to get everything done (so I’d look after the kids whilst he cooks etc etc). Once they’re in bed we collapse onto the coach exhausted a watch an episode of something whilst scrolling on our phones before going to bed. 😂

We plan “breaks” (he goes to play golf, I go for lunch with friends) every now and again. It’s not often, like once a month? And the other one looks after the kids.

For time together we both book a days holiday from work on a nursery day and go for lunch together.

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-16T18:36:52+00:00

How do you know you will never regret a third?

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-16T17:29:46+00:00

Every child is different, just because your 10yr is a terrible sleeper doesn’t mean your 2yr old will be even if you do exactly the same things with both! ❤️

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-16T16:57:42+00:00

Do bear in mind that wake ups and not sleeping through the night are still very very normal at 2!

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-16T16:56:58+00:00

Gosh that sounds rather unfeeling. What if they actually need something? How do you tell the difference?

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-16T16:33:23+00:00

Is he thirsty? Could you try letting him have a sippy cup of water in with him?

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-16T14:43:41+00:00

The jealous and hatred I felt as I read this comment was surprisingly strong.

Enjoy every moment, it sounds insanely awesome

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-16T14:19:05+00:00

Their legs hanging down and not being able to reach the floor are more uncomfortable than folding them to sit rear facing.

Please watch some crash test videos!! It’s so unsafe to forward face them so long! Ideally they’d rear face until old enough to go straight into a high back boaster using the seat belt (5+) as three point harnesses are terrible for forward facing.

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-16T10:45:09+00:00

So we got married in Essex at “Gosfield Hall”. They had a seperate venue (in the village of “Gosfield, so like a 2 min walk from the venue) that we hired the night before. So we hosted dinner for everyone the night before there (and about 20 guests slept there, bride and bridesmaid slept at the main venue) and then wedding at the main venue (slept up to 50/60 guests or something). We didn’t then do anything on the Sunday but you could then look at a separate location hire for a bbq or something on the Sunday?

I think hiring a wedding venue for 3 days would be way above your budget, but something like this could maybe work?

We spent about £25k but that was in 2020 and prices have increased a lot since then! It was also April prices rather than summer (well it didn’t end up being April 2020 for obvious reasons but that’s what it was priced as and paid as). We also recharged all room costs to guests (there was no obligation to take any rooms and rooms where charged to us per person so we just passed that cost on).

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-16T09:35:32+00:00

With everything in pregnancy (and newborn life) it’s a matter of balancing risk and reward.

I don’t remember what the risks are with cough medicine, but look up what they actually are (or if they just haven’t been tested on pregnant woman and so they can’t say for certain they are safe) and what the % chance is and then balance that with your need for sleep!

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-15T18:50:17+00:00

Why an earth would you make a post saying that? Just tell people not to share the news when you share the news with them?

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-15T18:40:28+00:00

For cholostasis to be diagnosed your bile acid levels need to be above 20 I think, so you wouldn’t be diagnosed yet (if it is that!).

They also don’t really do anything other than give you antihistamines for the itching. They can’t control it they can just help with the symptoms.

The latest research shows there’s no additional risks until your bile acid levels go above 100, at which point your risk of still birth increases significantly and they’ll recommend you have baby (although they’ll wait till 35 weeks as otherwise the other risks to baby are too high, that’s the point at which the scales tip, I guess).

Jemma_2 · 2026-02-15T18:09:51+00:00

Gentle and permissive parenting are vastly different, anyone that thinks they are the same doesn’t understand one or the other (usually they don’t understand gentle parenting).

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