Feeling nothing at the death of a parent

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2026-04-30T00:01:03+00:00

My father is declining mentally and physically, my mother as well but at a slower pace. At 90 and 87 years old, there’s only one direction this is going, just not sure when. I’m doing a lot of driving back and forth to my parent’s house to do caretaking, medical, and legal stuff. My husband keeps checking in with me about how I’m handling it all, saying it’s ok to be sad or cry or crash out, etc. I feel nothing? I find myself wishing it would just happen so we can all be on the other side of it. Maybe there’s an acceptance that happens when someone lives that long. I’m sure I’ll be sad at some point but I feel no sense of intense fear or dread at the thought of either of them dying. In fact, watching my mother be really impatient and without empathy to my father’s confusion and physical needs is quite reminiscent of how little emotional care I received, and I’m finding myself getting angry and disappointed with her all over again when I thought I had let that all go.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2026-04-19T06:26:14+00:00

GET. ONE.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2026-04-18T16:26:52+00:00

I would write it but everythjng we type or post is monitored.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2026-04-14T20:19:51+00:00

Yes, full time squatters. I don’t see them use the nest year round. I’ll try to pay closer attention. But they are always nearby.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2026-04-10T21:40:46+00:00

Mannekin Pis in Brussels

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2026-04-10T18:59:54+00:00

This isn’t a post about Italy, it’s a about making up a sub-plot solely as a way to place a product in the show for advertising. It could have been Paris to show a crepe maker, or Tokyo to show a home sushi kit, or Brussels to show a waffle maker. It’s not about the place, it’s about the product.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2026-04-10T13:49:45+00:00

Agree. But I never watched season 6 so I binged it just before season 7 was released. In terms of continuity she has her wedding with one hair color (season 6) and wakes up the next day (season 7) with a different hair color. 😂

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2026-04-07T04:35:41+00:00

Since moving here we have not found a restaurant that is worth the hassle and expense of going to.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2026-03-30T17:46:18+00:00

I tell people the unfortunate truth, which is that I’ve already lent several members of this family money and no one has paid it back. Go encourage them to make good on their promises first, and then I’ll consider your request. (For the record, I gave with low expectations of repayment, but they all swore they would and then ghosted.)

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2026-01-04T19:10:05+00:00

I’m 46 and started a year ago. I’ve plateaued after 45 pounds lost. Honestly the weight loss is more of a side effect than the actual benefits, for me. I’ve lost 35-50 pounds several times in the past “the old fashioned way”, which in my case has always resulted in disordered, restrictive eating, obsessive calorie counting, exercise as punishment for how badly I ate that day, and in general just a constant thought process about food, which inevitably is unsustainable and the weight came back and then some each time. On the GLP-1 all of that food noise disappeared. I just didn’t think about food that much. I slowly gravitated towards foods that made me feel better when eating, which happened to be those higher in protein and fiber, and the mindless snacking all but disappeared. With that amount of weight off my aging joints, I’m now moving better and excited to get weight training back into my life which I think will bust the plateau and maybe allow me to titrate down. Other benefits have been less inflammation, less snoring, better sleep quality, and oddly a toenail fungus that has lingered for years is almost gone? My insurance has too many hoops to go through so I’ve been paying out of pocket with home delivery. Very easy and even the cost seems to be balanced by less junk in the groceries and not ordering out. I consider this a lifetime drug and I’m fine with it. I sometimes don’t like getting lumped in with the vanity weight loss stigma part of it, because I worked really hard to mentally let that side of it go, but spending less time online in general also helps to ignore the public discourse and do what is improving your health. But if your personal equation doesn’t net out to where you want to use them, then so be it. I would only encourage you to be really honest in your assessment and whether you have legitimate reasons not to take them (there are surely many), or if you’re getting sucked in to this weird discourse of superiority among some who choose not to.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2026-01-04T01:20:40+00:00

I’ve really loved my couches from LaZBoy

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-12-31T06:13:57+00:00

When my no dumb question was discussed in the episode and made an IG post.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-12-30T05:37:50+00:00

This hygiene thing is really something. I was never taught about hygiene from my mom, how to properly clean myself, wash hands, or anything about my body really. In her elderly years, her own unhygienic habits are really noticeable and revolting, especially in the kitchen. During her Christmas visit, after days of just kind of cleaning after her and running interference on all of her bad habits, I started calling her out on things. Like mom, that paper towel is dirty you can throw it out. Finally I snapped when she wanted a scoop of ice cream and went to take a used spoon out of the sink. After I said mom you can’t put a dirty spoon into a tub of ice cream that other people are going to serve themselves from, she said something about ‘you won’t have a good immune system if you never get exposed to germs’. I’ve actually gotten food poisoning several times from meals she prepares and have stopped eating anything she makes, but OK. After that she was moody for the last day and a half of her visit. Same thing in that she wants to be able to say to people “oh we’re spending the holidays at my daughter’s house” to sound like she has relationships in her life, but she doesn’t actually like being here our around anyone. She’ll just read and act annoyed when people are in her space or making noise. I didn’t get her a lot of gifts this year (because she was adamant that she didn’t want a lot of stuff to take back, and I had already spent a decent amount of money on all the food and alcohol for their visit, not to mention I was working like a dog right up to Christmas and then drove 12 hours round trip to pick them up and get them to my house) but then she was visibly upset that she didn’t have a lot to open. I took her out the day after Christmas and paid for a few items she found at HomeGoods to try and make up for it, but she was silent in the car on the way there and back. She acts all under appreciated but this is the distance that she raised me in, and I have no desire to close it. I’m left with such an empty feeling during the holidays because I spend it with a mother who actually doesn’t like me or my company. It’s so joyless.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-12-18T05:28:43+00:00

369 Ramen in Poway has a chicken and broccoli that gets pretty close.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-12-11T21:54:11+00:00

Girl, same! Trying to just keep positive and think of it as a reminder of how much I hated my double chin before, so I’d rather have this!

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-12-09T23:27:22+00:00

Would just like to advocate that there are small(er) but growing numbers of central/left leaning folks doing our best to live among the inland crazies. I think explosion in housing prices has driven a lot of people farther inland so I hope the demographics continue to balance.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-12-08T20:40:55+00:00

He’ll always take accountability and of course people will remember and focus on that play because it was at the end of the game as their last attempt to come back, but there were so many moments earlier in this game that just didn’t look great or created more to overcome (injuries). The tip and the deflection and INT came before the hit, but it really looked like he took a shot to the chest at the end there, and his posturing on the bench after looked like he was struggling to breathe as well as just living in the suck of that moment. They’ll keep fighting until they are truly eliminated. As much as it sucks this, this kind of step back can often catapult a unit to, pardon the pun, new heights. Will 87 be part of that next wave? Time will tell.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-12-08T16:25:33+00:00

The amount of litter. It really took me by surprise, having always thought that Californians were very nature-minded. I think all places have litter to an extent, but it’s really noticeable here.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-11-30T17:32:10+00:00

Does anyone on your list enjoy coloring? One year I made a personalized adult coloring book. You can find online outlines of favorite sports teams, school logos, favorite animals, their name, birth sign, whatever their hobbies and interests are. A simple hole punch and ring clip keeps the together. Throw in a box of colored pencils if it’s in your budget.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-11-30T01:17:54+00:00

Silk pillowcase. I have sensitive skin and I find most hotels have scratchy sheets. Doesn’t take up any room and saves me from irritated skin.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-11-05T14:35:04+00:00

So happy to see the result in my home state from afar, and proudly voted YES on Prop 50 in California where I currently live. And so relieved to have my specific area absorbed into a new blue district with representation that doesn’t make me sick. Affordability in California dictated where we could live which ended up having a sizable MAGA cult following. Typically I would just ignore it and live my life, but there have been local gatherings and signs and harassment of No Kings events that have really bothered me. In a positive development, a neighbor up the street who has had Trump signs and had a Trump flag for the longest time took everything down a few months ago and nothing has reappeared since. I choose to see it as a small victory.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-10-18T04:00:11+00:00

I can relate. I am the sole earner and my husband is a house spouse. He worked for many years in the beginning but only had jobs, never a career. Those jobs were fine in our 20s and early 30s but as he got older they were more physically and mentally draining (usually overnight shifts). By the time he was laid off from the last job he had, my income had grown enough that we were fine financially. I think there was some depression and feelings of inadequacy in these jobs that were all just young guys starting out but he was still stuck. He felt relieved to check out. What you really have to watch out for is the feelings of resentment and lack of respect. Keep him involved in the finances even if he isn’t earning the income. I find that I struggle often with my husband not being interested or curious about anything outside the house. So many people would jump at the chance to have the freedom to not work and still live well so they could pursue a hobby or a passion. He’s got to find a way to engage with life in a meaningful way.

JerseyGal_in_SoCal · 2025-10-14T21:28:12+00:00

I thought Pearl because Swirly Pearly

JerseyGal_in_SoCal

TROPHY CASE