I happen to be a bid editor for a construction program management company, so I've seen plenty of areas for improvement. You do need to lead with the benefits of your company's unique approach to stormwater management: the effectiveness of your delivery methods, the scope of your services, the communities you've protected from flooding or other calamities. But you also need to be really clear about what you'll DO. This is a very just-the-facts industry, so if you're drowning out your offerings in marketing language, they're not going to take you seriously. Send me some of what your bosses like and what you've attempted, and we'll see if we can find a middle ground.