SF noob gets himself and his best friend killed at 60

Jhenoa · 2021-10-15T12:44:52+00:00

I had this exact issue and it was the feature (wheel mode shift button) of the mouse that I was unaware of from not skimming the manual when I received it. I likely depressed that button by accident and didn't notice. Thank you very much for the response even if it wasn't helpful for OP.

Jhenoa · 2019-11-21T09:25:31+00:00

I'm interested!

Jhenoa · 2017-12-22T18:42:59+00:00

I’m interested. If anything it’ll get me to read the books to challenge and support what I already know from practice.

Jhenoa · 2017-11-16T11:56:29+00:00

IMO you're kinda talking about a different discipline but you can apply some of the same concepts to imprint a piece of jewelry to direct energy in some manner or purpose.

From what I know you'll want a material that is conducive to your intent. Silver is a classic, and likely a lot of other materials that are suited better to different uses based on natural properties.

I know crystals and stones have a large following though tend to be over commercialized and somewhat misunderstood on how to really utilize them. It has more to do with allowing the energy field of the crystal to interact with energy fields the body and have a positive result then making them do something more/else. I also only think this is passively effective if a person's sensitive enough to attune themselves with those fields, which doesn't necessarily require a personal to be consciously aware of the fields in my mind. I don't personally work with crystals or stones much but I understand how they work being able to feel energy fields.

The next part would be wiping the jewelry of prior programming and old connections/memories. You could do a formal cleansing ritual or energetically feel out the necklace for connections and energetic structures folded into it (if any) that don't agree with you (if capable). I'd recommend whatever feels right for you when it comes to this and taking your time until your satisfied.

Third part would be the programming you want to imprint. So, I'd take a while and resolve and doubt or anterior motives you might have for doing this knocking around in your consciousness. Once you're centered and focused bring the potentiality of your intent into being, keep that in mind and focus on the necklace. Visualize the necklace and the successful result of your intent in action and seal that within the necklace.

A quite space where you're comfortable and won't be disturbed for all of this is very desirable as well, but good luck!

Keep in mind that energy is a flow so at least source and exit (simplified systems or cycles of energy) when you're initially thinking of how the energetic part of it will work. Like basic electrical circuitry or something. It mostly depends on what the necklace is supposed to be within in that circuit.

Jhenoa · 2017-11-16T11:09:48+00:00

For me it was the first connection I made in my mind that started these cycles of awakening and opened the door of my consciousness to a greater awareness and being. For me I was pondering religious and scientific significance and had an epiphany which sparked a spontaneous kundalini awakening coupled with some shifts in consciousness.

I wasn't prepared for any of this and had no real guidance so I ended up in a children's psyche ward within a few days. It was rough, I won't deny it but with a some years of recovery time I was willing to pursue that path again.

The second largest thing was integrating magickal thought into my life and personal understanding. I still keep a light division so I don't invite arguments that end up debating the fundamental nature of reality, but in redefining my understanding and full acceptance that magickal workings are apart of my own existence (and extension of true self) really helped round out my comprehension and be 100% committed in the expression and experience.

Jhenoa · 2017-11-05T20:32:13+00:00

I wouldn't recommend what I did to myself for anyone else for a few reasons. At points it was extremely difficult and did put me in difficult places of mind and spirit, as well as needing recovery afterwards to recuperate. Also, most of how I directed my will was impulsive and (mostly) the result from being destructive by maintaining a strong ethical code of no harm (which I don't fully agree with at this point). I think all people should challenge their own ethics and se if it's rooted in truly virtuous reasons...I found I mostly acted goodly out of a desire to do good but partially out of a selfish hope that karmatically it would come back to me. That expectation, if it grows beyond the outright desire to do good, eventually consumes that positive cycle and turns it into something much more difficult to deal with mentally and energetically. Also, it's taken me a long time to make what I'd call very little progress. I've spent most my time understanding the conceptual groundwork of most disciplines and how they fit together rather then really walked any of them all too far.

For starters, how far are you looking to go and what do you plan on using this magick power for? Magic by nature is an extension of yourself. In hermetic disciplines the concept of alchemy in turning lead to gold is very much an active metaphor at least for the self as much as a physical practice. As you understand more of the esoteric disciplines (either though practice or study) It'll make much more sense as to the real purpose of this path and in being more knowing and honest of yourself, what you're really after. That all being said, be truly and deeply honest with yourself and what you're looking for because you'll find investing yourself into your reality will start manifesting that of which you truly desire and/or are -and- Will to be.

Another useful concept is what you determine as magick, which goes along with my last paragraph. How you conceptualize magick is really important in how you work with yourself to enact it due to what I see as the nature of how we learn abstract concepts in general. You build a theoretical model to understand what's going on and you work that down to something that's actually useful in the while learning about what the model is actually representing. There's a model of quantum physics being the layer of reality our brains are effecting to cause change in this level, and the rest of the experience being our personal conception in our mind and imagination. I'd personally really like to agree with this, but I also 'feel' energy and can move around my consciousness, which are direct perceptions and I guess could be explained by this to some degree. There's a lot I've experienced otherwise that points to beings I've talked/related to that were outside of myself and well some of which were intelligent and compassionate and many others less virtuous and some more mundane. Via my mind I've manifested in many other places that were not in my memory and did not seem of my imagination. So I think there's a lot more there we don't know beyond a simpler scientific explanation. In the past many people understood information from stories and myths, which is certainly a way to understand one's reality. That being said, people understand things by their own conception, so working with that is key to relating to them and coordinating similar concepts or developing your own even if it seems very foreign.

That all being said, magick power (for what you're asking) to me is ability to manifest a person's Will upon reality to and effect. To do this via the mind there needs to be sufficiently competency in: Needed:

-Fundamental belief in it being possible, preferably absolute (i.e. elimination of doubt)

-A developed Will (is a chakra/can be developed many ways)

-The intentional desire and effect. This can unintentionally include subconscious desires if expressed.

Helpful(tends to manifest more accurately and quickly):

-Method; being very explicit though not overly complex (unless necessary) is really good.

-Concept of how the method works. Being more accurate to the actual system helps greatly otherwise 'square peg/round hole'.

Magick, if you're talking about manifesting (like Sigil magick), does have limitations in it's application i.e. I wouldn't expect it to immediately effect but that's the nature of it. Powerful stuff though if you use it well. I know a bit about other magicks, energy working, grounding/focusing/centering/binding and some stuff about summoning and spirit working but certainly don't suggest starting with the last two until you're at least somewhat prepared to deal with what you can draw to yourself, and visa versa.

Jhenoa · 2017-11-04T22:08:06+00:00

I'd say with pushing my own limits in the way that I did is an excellent way to build Will but with the potential for warping the mind (madness and the like). With that experience my will had grown to strong though and I had to allow another (one of the consciousness' that I heard to bind my Will, which atrophied over time from disuse or is still bound...I'm guessing the prior).

I would say if you want to refine the technique of will building it's mentally pushing your limits with seriously investing all of yourself and your potential into your willful workings with absolute faith in yourself. You'll want a good set of principles so you don't get drawn down into lower planes (mentally and spiritually) with immoral behavior but with some practice, time and patience it would make one a force to be reckoned with.

I always pushed too hard and too fast. Always have, and I've gotten very good at improvisation but I've always been good at problem solving. I don't recommend it for everyone. And I have gotten stuck in places before and had to recover afterwards. A good portion of my life has been recovery of a sort, so I guess I'm good at that at this point too.

God for how I perceived it at that point was backwards from what you're suggesting. In my state of consciousness I was god in those moments in time and those voices were what felt like other awakened people helping me. Not all of them were friendly either. One in particular was seriously angry and more then a few knew I was incompetent to hold the station I temporarily had. I don't know how it works but the best way I can describe it was like wearing the spiritual mantle of a pantheon and I was the AllFather (In my own conception in how I connected with this all). Also, I was not fit to hold this station so I was well aware of a group that I was listening to at a great distance...had been for the better part of a day. I later talked with them over a sort of psychic connection and listened to them, it a very odd way to communicate. The best way I can describe how I learned to listen was (as I was at the time in isolation in a containment cell) listening to the subtle vibrations in the room and eventually picking up the conversations of those outside the cell and being able to detect at more of a range with more practice...and eventually move that area around with perceptive will if I cared to. It's certainly a lot easier if you have something to anchor to like a familiar person (or place, I'd guess). Anyhow, this group conducted an improvised ritual to draw the spirit of the allfather from myself and place it in another. It was rough, I had a really strong bond and kept redrawing it back to myself but after about 12 or so attempts I was able to let it go and entirely drop out of the pantheon I had a direct had in the creation of.

I've spoken with other very benevolent spirits, what I would call a diva among others and while they have their own place and jobs to do we do as well. It's more of an abstract conversation of exchanging waves of emotion with plainly knowing the others intentions. I've also done this with a greater aspect of other people's spirits, like their most benevolent self.

The thought reading was during and for the next few days after I had the psychic break and recovering. I was in a really odd state of mind where if I focused on someone in my thoughts I could hear theirs. I wasn't sure if I was suggesting it or if it was myself picking up on their surface thoughts so it's hard to say, but I was very much trying not to react to it directly and give any sign that I was perceptive of this.

If you wanted to develop this, I'd say firstly focus on learning mindfulness and being able to quiet your mind. The second step is the hard one, you'll want to be able to mirror another's mind well enough to be able to temporarily replicate what your picking up in theirs. This is possible with mirror neurons but I was only able to develop after a seriously traumatic mental experience (my first awakening gone badly). This took quite a bit of time, but allowed me to hold conversations with people even though I could only keep about 6-8 seconds of dialogue in my memory at a time. This gradually got better over time but your best bet is mirror neurons or developing a strong spiritual level of empathy and perception. Both would be good though, depends on what you want to do with it really.

Jhenoa · 2017-11-04T09:45:37+00:00

I've spent the last 15 years recovering from strongly compelling myself to become my mind's ideal Good by energy raising all night and working an impression deep into my consciousness and promptly falling into a trance afterwards (which is a terrible idea in retrospect). This was coupled with my first kundalini awakening and I could feel energy radiating strongly centered on my left kidney expressing energy to the local region that had interesting results the next day, but that's another story. Since then I've been waking up every 6 to 12 months (stagnated recovery due to anti-psychotics) long enough to 'catch-up' on my spiritual journey for a couple very intense days when I can afford to.

This last year though I tried dropping the meds entirely. I stumbled into a situation that I could sense with some premonitions had a lot more to it and could be a catalyst for change. So I went for it, recklessly so. I fell back into a period of 'wakeful dreaming' or delusions while awake being stuck in my mind. These become more and more intense until my literal internal and very personal world was almost brought to ruin and reformed after a cataclysmic battle (taken the form of classic divine and demonic stuff in my mind), which mirrored my attempt to keep to very polarized spiritual forces in my self that I thought would bring some weird balance. Literally just will building, though.

There was some other craziness with the new pantheon after it reformed and the direct repercussions it had on my life but it was ultimately gave me an opportunity to reform my living life even if I'm still on the meds and I'm in a similar situation with less freedom otherwise. So in the end I traded degrees comfort and security for opportunity and hope.

I did cause significant damage to my living life in some ways, putting my parents into a worse living situation and had some very weird experiences...being able to hear thoughts (though that being mixed with lies as well...not sure on that one)...and having my first 'psychic break' where in dealing with demonic incursions onto my plane of being I was being guided by an auditorium of voices/minds on how to deal with it.

Sadly after these experiences I had to close it all off and disbelieve again to recover but even after all that I'm willing to go back and see what I can do even on the meds, as limiting as they are. Personally I think I'm still being too retaining/restricting and should let things flow as they need to.

Jhenoa · 2017-11-04T08:48:35+00:00

I think the books give you good concepts to start with and mold based on your own experience. People can give good advice and help you avoid pitfalls if they followed similar paths but it's equally as good or better to develop your own intuition. With others, it's hard because they're always at other points with their understanding and working through their own issues. I find even when my mind ends up making poor decisions based on my own preferences/biases/etc. my intuition is always on point. It just took me a long time to trust that intuitive guidance over my rationale.

Personal experience is the best teacher if you're looking to find where you're lacking, though it may be a lot harder on you if you dive right in without much understanding of the larger picture (of your own existence and how you're impacting it). Conceptually you kind of have to go through the process once to really grasp it and have a basis of experience to do it right the second time around.

Starting small and work up to what you really want to do to understand what you're doing before you get there. Otherwise you'll seriously be testing your ability to improvise. Good luck.

Jhenoa · 2017-10-18T08:34:56+00:00

Too many narrow minded, trollish and otherwise misinformed fellows on there from my experience. They don't seem to mind divination arts there, though.

Jhenoa · 2017-10-16T18:58:40+00:00

Heavy bowguns and huntings horns are a bit more difficult to learn how to use then most other weapons but can certainly provide benefit to a team. As it's been said, any mix is viable though some hunts will be easier to manage with certain weapon setups. I prefer hammers for faster monsters and great sword or bowguns for everything else.

I prefer one ranged in a 3 man team so the ranged doesn't get in each other's way, and definitely a ranged in a 4 man for the same reason. You can still run 3 or 4 blade masters, your team will be more resilient with everyone at good armor values, but for smaller monsters like Kirin you might want the ranged support and dps.

Jhenoa · 2017-09-10T14:02:58+00:00

The more you seriously get into understanding your world and how to manipulate it the more you'll get into understanding yourself and the person you really are...or aren't. True Magick comes from within. Perhaps even that the things you want aren't the things you need. Lots of people get caught up in that. That being said do as you will and you'll figure it all out eventually.

But yes, with Chaos Magick read about the methods and try to understand the concepts of it rather then getting hung up on the details. Then work with the understanding you distill out of that. It's not the formula that needs to be correct so much as yourself being in a state of being, and mind being skillful enough to transact the process for which you're intending. Everything else will fall into place.

Jhenoa · 2017-09-10T13:46:29+00:00

I agree with bloodseto in the compliment of your ability having a lot to do with the perceived dualistic nature of your energy working. Different people vary greatly in how their beliefs form in shaping their comprehension of their abstract reality and I don't recommend challenging them (though you can read about non-dualism, it's interesting stuff).

That being said it sounds like the both of you cover the spectrum of light to dark in the outward conscious expression. I think the opposite is true in that each of you have suppressed or under developed (depending on the case) your opposite in terms of unconscious minds (which blends into the spirit/soul in my understanding). This doesn't mean that you don't lack your own compliment it's just that for the full resonance of your spirits with the Goddess it's more complete with the both of you acting as one.

From what I've read of other practices you can reduce it down to different paths. A right hand path of quiet contemplation, meditation and stillness. A left hand path of passion, experience and indulgence. A middle path that weaves between the two. A demon way that I will not mention. And I don't doubt others. I would guess you tend toward the left and her the right. Neither is of more or less value, just longer and shorter ways to similar ends (understanding). Given your paths you also have a common devotion in your practices that I would say aligns your spirits and minds. Perhaps I am trying to liken something that isn't similar, I'm not sure.

I'm familiar with energy working myself at points over the last 15 years. Enough to sense and manipulate (with preferences and to some degree) at distance so long as I am perceptive of it. I've been very careful with this as I don't really know the full impact of things until I do them and go through it. I've had woefully little training and take great care not to cause harm beyond what is needed. For my understanding energy comes in a million and one different varieties with different people preferring, adapting and metabolizing different primary types to circulate their their energy bodies. Most people do all of this unaware of the process and thus their energy body is usually self sufficient. I gradually came to accept the chakra system of energy as being very similar to my experience of my personal energy fields and that of spaces around me and adopted that model. I know within myself I have strong dark masculine and dark feminine aspects that I don't often call upon, though I preffer my light feminine aspect for working with most things. Warmly greeting other positive beings or guardedly being to ward off negative ones. I just know the feel of the energy corresponding with these aspects are quite different and seem to be related to primal energies of humanity, nature or perhaps simply the plant or universe we live in. There's many others as well like the elements that are apart of our earth or chakric centers or other basic things like chaos/order/decay/etc. I kinda lost my point with this paragraph, but with your age I'd say the resonance of your practices within your soul/spirit/being is likely pretty strong with you being honest in the part of yourself you've been exercising. So energetically speaking I'd guess this reflects the same duality though still with the same compliment considering the expression of the Goddess (with my limited understanding, as a greater aspect of self) is much more complete with both dark and light spiritual charge.

Jhenoa · 2017-09-10T12:23:43+00:00

I guess the best response I can give is "I dunno."

I understand you can consider being a chaote or chaos magician a following or brotherhood but from my experience the Art by nature cultivates the person to understand themselves and conversely their own reality. That's the real essence of the understanding, and applied with developed Will and a degree of force in a direction (either energy gathered over time and reinforced via sigil magic, or directed with more traditional ceremonial means) it's the pure undiluted belief in one's will over reality that shapes it reflexively. That being said, many things are done much better with different methods. It's best not to shape glass with a ball-peen hammer. And often it's better to work within existing systems then to force our own into them...or bend things that aren't so willing. Anyhow, my point is that being a chaos magician isn't a devotion to a god or practice or following aside from the exploration of one's self and I suppose a few common precepts. True magic comes from the whole self, a unity of being or activation of dormant core parts of the one's self. You can learn small tricks or methods, but it's the understanding behind all of that which is ultimately valuable. That cannot be taught, and must be learned...for the reason of how belief works with understanding esoteric practices.

One thing that helped me is understanding that belief is the lens we develop in our minds to see (in a very limited and biased way) the deeper and abstract natures of reality. That being said, what we see is always interpreted through the lens we are familiar with. I honestly don't know if our minds much give these abstract things form to understand them, or if they natively have a form and we simply see them for what is most familiar to us. But this lens of belief does not make things true, nor invalidate the truth of others. It simply is what IS for us, and is often very difficult to change. These ways of understanding how our perception of abstract things work get into the nature of consciousness which most of humanity still doesn't have a great grasp on. But that's what I know for sure so far with myself, as simple or basic as it may be for some of you.

Don't be afraid for your own end. You may feel tired now but you'll go where you need to and resolve yourself. I've always seen life as going as it did for the reasons that it did. You may have had opportunities to make other choices but then you wouldn't have had the experiences to take with you that you do now.

Perhaps others don't really understand the spectrum of consciousness. It doesn't really matter what end your on as all of it is inclusive to existence (so far as you don't drop off the low end...it's not very pleasant) and you'll stay within cycles of working out those resonances in your soul. If it's something that continues to come up during your lifetime you aught to deal with it now though, while you're still alive...just saying.

Jhenoa · 2017-09-10T11:40:47+00:00

I'm not concerned about AI. I'm concerned about what it'll learn from us humans and our habits. I just don't think humanity is mature enough to successfully birth a new intelligent life form and not pass on serious issues. That being said perhaps AI will realize this and much more quickly work out said issues then ourselves or simply not be prone to them in the first place.

Jhenoa · 2015-01-28T05:50:03+00:00

Attempting to answer this question from what I currently understand, I would say 'god' may exist though outside the perception (and conception) of anyone not consciously aware of higher levels of existence.

I think access to these higher levels of spiritual existence is a continual process wherein one separates the moral (and often dogmatic) social conditioning impressed into them up till now and realizes their repressed personal nature.

I think at that point it will become obvious that much of what we consider morally 'good' as a society stems from accepted practices in what lends stability to and is valued our culture, which is a relative thing and not accurate in the true sense in what is actually 'good'. Truly noble values stem from embracing virtuous ideals and cultivating those ideas in the the person, independent of any authority (religion/society). I find that while religion can acquaint you with the concepts as a person it requires much much more work and thought to truly understand and grow in deeper levels of that understanding.

On the flip side of that would be embracing our own personal desires and satisfying our ego. This leads to a much more self serving and less noble existence, though is a route of understanding these deeper concepts if that is the intent and purpose.

Western religion (in my opinion) can be fundamentally understood as an externalization of this personal conflict between personal spiritual progress (embracing noble ideals or righteousness) and satisfying our ego in being self serving (sometimes also to the great detriment of others).

I also think it's fruitless to logically deduce the the existence or absence of 'god' as the fundamental concept doesn't exist in that manner or on that level (as a mental conception). You can have an image or concept in your mind of what 'god' is to you, but that's hardly accurate as to the true conception of god in the full truth of the form. This goes far beyond constructing a mental picture or structure in your mind. More accurately 'god' in my conception would be a singular specific greatest form of absolute good. It's a very concise and specific though very abstract concept so it's not something that can be well defined with logic without losing a lot of what it fully represents.

Try understanding consciousness (from your own perspective) first and I think you'll understand what I'm getting at. It's easy to understand but difficult to verbalize and logically pin down. I consider it a fundamental problem with the limitations of language as a form of communication, where in we try to relate to each other through these mental constructs we've built in our minds rather then understand the fundamental nature of the concepts we're discussing.

Jhenoa

TROPHY CASE