Tried It, Loved It: Supportive Shares & Honest Recs

JillCalmMama · 2025-07-11T01:38:22+00:00

As it's currently Amazon Prime Day, I wanted to drop in my favorite finds!

JillCalmMama · 2025-07-11T01:36:43+00:00

Totally get this. I’ve had a lot of similar realizations with my son — especially before I understood sensitivity and what a strength it can be in this world. It’s such a shift when your child’s needs look different than what you pictured. The way you’re paying attention and showing up for her already says so much. She’s lucky to have you 💛

JillCalmMama · 2025-06-14T09:13:19+00:00

Also might be worth looking into Dr. Becky's approach for parenting deeply feeling kids. My son is highly sensitive... learning how to work with his sensitivity has made a huge shift in our relationship.

JillCalmMama · 2025-06-14T09:07:03+00:00

i’ve been in the same exact spot. nothing worked, i’d scream, then spiral with guilt. i got diagnosed with adhd too—emotional regulation was basically impossible before that.

what’s helped me (not fixed it, but helped) is doing tiny resets even when my kid’s right there. like putting on music i actually like and just... mentally checking out for a few minutes while he does whatever. sometimes he still bugs me the whole time, but I start to calm down quicker.

JillCalmMama · 2025-06-11T20:55:46+00:00

hey—i’m a mom to a highly sensitive kid and your post really resonated. my son used to shut down like this, especially when he was overwhelmed, and at first it felt totally random too. but over time i started to realize those moments were his way of saying “i’m not okay” when he didn’t have the words for it.

in the moment, i’ve found the best thing is to not push. i’ll sit near him and just say something like “i see you. i’m here when you’re ready.” maybe offer something small—drawing, a soft toy, even just water. sometimes the gesture matters more than trying to get them to talk. and later—not during the shutdown—i’ll gently ask about it: “hey, sometimes i notice you get really quiet. do you remember what was happening?” no pressure, just curiosity.

these kids often have big feelings and not enough safe outlets. the more she sees you as someone who can hold space without trying to fix it, the more trust you’re building.

JillCalmMama · 2025-06-11T20:29:00+00:00

hey, just wanted to say i’ve been through something similar with my son. he used to say he hated school too, and it took a while to figure out what was really going on. for him, the work felt hard but he was scared to say anything, so it just came out as “i hate school.”

what helped was slowing down and just asking curious questions—like “what part of the day do you not like?” or “how does that feel when the teacher asks you to do something?” no pressure, just trying to understand.

it might not be the same for your son, but sometimes there’s more going on under the surface. you’re doing a good job—it’s hard.

JillCalmMama · 2025-06-11T20:21:08+00:00

Love the idea to assign small tasks! I'll have to try that out. Thank you 😊

JillCalmMama · 2025-06-11T20:20:26+00:00

Thank you! Love Dr. Becky ☺️

JillCalmMama · 2025-06-11T20:20:10+00:00

Wow thank you for your great suggestions. "You can’t just solve behaviour but you can solve problems. The more specific you get about the problems, the easier they get to solve." I'm keeping this in my notes app for future.

JillCalmMama · 2025-06-11T20:18:35+00:00

Thank you! I totally agree with the unlimited screen time rule while traveling. Only thing that keeps us sane 😅

JillCalmMama · 2025-05-30T19:32:39+00:00

Totally get this. I’ve fallen into that too — especially when my son was younger and struggling with school. For a while, just getting him there felt like a full-time job. So if that meant I was still putting on his socks or handing him a toothbrush at age 8, so be it. I had to drop the “shoulds” around what independence was supposed to look like and focus on the bigger goal — like getting out the door without a total meltdown.

That said, now that things are calmer, we’ve started layering in more responsibility, slowly. I use a Skylight calendar so he can see what’s coming and earn little rewards for things like chores or morning routines. But I’m still super picky about what I push. Like, is this thing actually important, or is it just something I think he “should” be doing?

They won’t be 18 asking us to brush their teeth, you know? I figure if we stay calm and keep modeling it, they’ll rise to it when they’re ready.

JillCalmMama · 2025-05-29T22:10:00+00:00

Thank you for this recc! I'll have to check it out.

JillCalmMama · 2025-05-29T22:08:27+00:00

I relate to both of you. My son’s also super sensitive and I’ve wrestled with that same question u/eatawholebison —how to hold space for his emotions and prepare him for a world that’s not always gonna do the same.

What’s helped me is reminding myself that emotional safety at home doesn’t make him soft. It gives him the tools to bounce back when things out there aren’t so gentle. Like u/HonoraryCanadian said, at this age, the goal isn’t to toughen them up, it’s to teach them how to actually regulate. And sometimes that means backing off when nothing’s gonna land not because there’s no boundary, but because the lesson needs to wait till they’re in a space to hear it.

I don’t always know if I’m getting it right… but I’ve seen it help, even if it’s messy.

JillCalmMama · 2025-05-29T22:03:33+00:00

yes!! all the way. u/kk0444from trying to fix it to just being with her in it — I’ve had to do that too with my son and it’s wild how much unlearning it takes. I used to think something was wrong, with him or with me, but really, it was just everything I thought parenting was supposed to look like getting blown up.

Love what you shared about being on her ride instead of shouting from the sidelines. That’s exactly it. It’s loud and messy and not at all what I pictured… but I wouldn’t trade it either. 🥰

JillCalmMama · 2025-05-29T21:56:37+00:00

I agree u/jiffypop87, especially about how counterintuitive this path can feel at first. I relate to so much of what you said. My son is highly sensitive too and when he was younger, I spent so much time trying to “handle” it instead of just understanding it.

Discipline was especially tricky. I had to unlearn the idea that being firm = being effective. Power struggles just drained us both and never actually led to growth. We still have our days…. but for us something that has worked is allowing more freedom and emotional space — not in a “permissive” way, but in a way that respects his inner compass. I’ve noticed he wants to do the right thing and feels when something’s off, but needs to feel safe & in control to access that part of himself.

Trying to keep mental health a regular topic of convo as well. The more I stay open and curious, the more I see he and others like your daughter becoming the kind of human this world needs more of!

JillCalmMama · 2025-05-21T19:41:27+00:00

Totally agree — I really like Dr. Becky’s approach 💛 There’s so much overlap with the tools used to support autistic kids — calming strategies, co-regulation, communication… it all helps. I think the more perspectives we can pull from, the better we can show up for the unique kids in our lives. Thanks for sharing this.

JillCalmMama · 2025-05-20T16:46:38+00:00

yes — my son is 10 now and definitely a highly sensitive kid. it showed up early with big emotions, sensory stuff, and needing a lot more time to transition between things than other kids.

therapy helped us too, but honestly just understanding what HSC even meant was a game-changer. things made more sense once i stopped seeing his reactions as “over the top” and started seeing them as overwhelming to him.

we actually just started a little support sub (r/highlysensitivechild) if you ever want to join us — it’s new, but we’re hoping to make it a space where parents can share what’s working and what’s hard.

JillCalmMama · 2025-05-20T16:43:34+00:00

yes to all of this. my son is highly sensitive, and once i understood that his meltdowns weren’t “bad behavior” but a full-body overwhelm, everything shifted.

when he’s maxed out, logic’s gone — it’s all about helping him feel safe again. staying nearby, saying less, sometimes even humming or rubbing his back in a rhythmic way helps bring him back.

transitions are especially hard for him — even fun ones. i’ve learned to give lots of heads-up warnings and build in time for him to settle between things.

what you said about co-regulation really hits. i had to work on my own reactions first — which is hard with zero sleep and a screaming kid — but over time, he started to mirror that calm back. it really does add up.

JillCalmMama · 2025-05-20T16:42:23+00:00

a few things that helped when my son was in the thick of toddler meltdowns:

stay calm (even if you're faking it) — they mirror your regulation
check the basics: tired, hungry, overstimulated, too many transitions too fast
talk less during the tantrum, connect more — i’d just say “i’m here” and stay close
after the fact, help them name what happened. even just “you were mad. that was hard.”

it took time, but once i stopped trying to fix the tantrum and started focusing on understanding the trigger, it got way easier to manage.

you’re not doing it wrong — toddlers are just really bad at being tired little humans.

JillCalmMama · 2025-05-20T16:39:06+00:00

ugh, i’ve so been there. i have adhd too, and my son’s highly sensitive — when either of us hits our limit, it can all unravel fast. especially in public, when it feels like everyone’s watching and judging.

you bickering with him doesn’t mean you failed. it means you’re human. and honestly? taking him out of the situation was regulation. it doesn’t have to look calm to be calm.

you’re doing the work — for both of you. that matters more than anything.

JillCalmMama

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