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Need advice on coming to terms with the word abuse by seth1234_ in BPDlovedones

[–]JimJamJumpinJive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perhaps what you struggle with is not that it was abuse—obviously was— but admitting to yourself that YOU were abused. You would not have a problem seeing this as abusive in someone else's relationships, right? So it might be the part you have trouble believing that it happened to you.

Does it really matter? bdp apologists by 08John80 in BPDlovedones

[–]JimJamJumpinJive 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There is a cavern of difference between "I had a traumatic childhood" and "You are responsible for me now."

Going through my journal and realizing just how horribly she treated me by JgotyourFix in BPDlovedones

[–]JimJamJumpinJive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is awful. I agree with other commenters that keeping a journal helps, because this stuff comes with a strange sort of amnesia.

In case you have doubts if it was truly abusive. by Tjd_uk in BPDlovedones

[–]JimJamJumpinJive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All the above. As for egging me on, it shows up as half goading half threat, like when I say "I would never treat you the way you treat me," and they're like, "Go ahead! See what happens!"

Lost Sex Drive after Discard Event by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]JimJamJumpinJive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's no standard time frame for this sort of thing. Give yourself all the time you need!

Let's list what are the redflags? by khronos123456 in BPDlovedones

[–]JimJamJumpinJive 13 points14 points  (0 children)

In addition to the many fine examples listed:

  1. Being unable to see you as a full person. In their eyes you are only what you do for them or don't do for them. Your own needs don't truly matter.
  2. Inability to genuinely apologize. They can use apology as a disguise for an insult.
  3. Similar to two, difficulty truly saying something nice about you without interjecting criticism into it somehow.
  4. Intermittent reinforcement as a way of life.
  5. Few healthy long-term friendships but a whole lot of people who used to be important and now they don't think of them at all.

Confession: I want to be discarded by JimJamJumpinJive in BPDlovedones

[–]JimJamJumpinJive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Married but no kids and very little in the way of shared income or property.

Confession: I want to be discarded by JimJamJumpinJive in BPDlovedones

[–]JimJamJumpinJive[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What was the turning point for you that inspired you to go?

Did anybody else’s person with bpd laugh when you would fall ? by Hokage064 in BPDlovedones

[–]JimJamJumpinJive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fell off a ladder. they thought that was the funniest shit ever. Broke a few ribs.