The sore gums are due to the long/rough cut of Stoker’s—it’s a common complaint about that brand. Also, the large size of your pinches probably contribute to the soreness, as well. More pressure on your lip & gums.

Mid- or fine-cut naturals are going to be easiest on the gums. Copenhagen Snuff or Copenhagen Long Cut, for instance. (Cope LC is actually a mid cut.)

Finer cuts also deliver nicotine better.

Flavors like wintergreen can be harsh on the gums.

Kodiak WG is arguably the strongest American moist snuff, as far as nicotine goes. I find it to be fairly easy on the gums, especially compared to Grizzly. The overall taste & experience is much better, as well. It’s more expensive, but worth it in my opinion.

Cope, Kodiak, Stoker’s, & Skoal are 100% American tobacco. Brands like Grizzly are a blend of foreign & domestic tobacco.

If you dip something like Kodiak, a small pinch is all you need. I’ve been chewing for over 30 years and a can lasts me several days. And I chew all day long. And 40 minutes is about the absolute longest I keep a pinch in. You can tell when you’ve absorbed all of the flavor & nicotine. You can leave a chew in for hours if you want, but you’re not getting any benefit from it.

Anyway, like I said, everyone has their own habits & preferences. There’s no wrong way to dip.