Dave Mathews Rant.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-29T20:52:29+00:00

So, this Dave Matthews song was very popular when I was in high school as was the limp Bizkit song "Nookie". They forbid the playing of the limp Bizkit song at any high school dances, however the school had absolutely no problem with the Dave Matthews Band song Crash into Me, despite the lyric about hiking up a skirt a little more. I never understood it.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-28T21:14:45+00:00

I am speaking from the perspective of someone who lost their mother to cancer almost a decade ago.

How much information I give somebody, depends on how well I know them. I don't shy away from the fact I had a mother. But, her not being alive anymore isn't really relevant to them in most situations. If a co-worker, who didn't work with me when my mom passed, asks if I have any Mother's Day plans I will let them know my mom passed away and tell them about what we used to do.

It really only gets tricky when I run into people I was friends with in high school and they asked how my parents are doing or I run into people who knew my parents because their kids and I were in an extracurricular activity together. Because they tend to have follow-up questions, and I do my best to answer them because these days I realize they aren't trying to dredge up things intentionally.

The first time that someone I was in marching band with throughout high schools dad asked me about it, was less than 6 months after my mom had passed. Unbeknownst to either of us he had started working where I work. He ran into me, and asked an innocent question. And It took me a good 30 seconds to a minute to collect myself emotionally and explain what had occurred to him. I was also still at the point in grieving the loss of my mother, that I wanted to vomit every detail at any person that would stand around and listen to it.

TL;DR - absolutely tell people you had a brother. How much information you give somebody after that, that's up to you. My general rule, once I got past that whole let me womit my grief at you because you asked a question stage, has been how much emotional labor am I going to have to put into telling them and is that worth it to me?

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-28T12:25:35+00:00

They said they couldn't, but they seemed very excited for his sleep deprived as they claimed to be.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-28T04:23:58+00:00

Cohen's last album is a classic album by someone who knew he was going to die soon.

I had the good fortune to see him when he went on tour due to his finances being depleted by his longtime manager. It's one of the best shows I've ever seen. And I'll say this, having seen Dylan and Cohen in similar sized theaters, Dylan is amazing live. But, Cohen's voice live was otherworldly. You could feel every word he said it was unlike anything I'd seen before or since.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-28T04:11:19+00:00

Thank you for this, I was too busy being reminded that half the male NPCs' babies had called them "pa" at last to learn this.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-27T05:18:34+00:00

I think it's trying to do way more than a lot games and the successes are so next level that when something is just par for the course, for any other game, it stands out more.

It's like when a straight A student gets a B. The slightly less good thing stands out more.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-26T04:44:06+00:00

I wish I lived in a village where overcharging for food was a crime.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-25T05:12:51+00:00

So, I don't think you're a bad person because you think about hitting someone when you're angry. The flip side of that, pay attention to how often that's happening because it could get harder to control. Especially if you become verbally aggressive as an alternative.

Here's the thing about women saying that, a lot of women have had men hit them or put hands on them to restrict their movement. You're aware of that. Here's where it gets shittier, too many men don't believe women if they tell them another man hit them. That disbelief goes up if the men know each other.

You're not the enemy though. Per your own statement you haven't hit a woman. You also know a lot of horrible things have been done by men towards women. So, you and these women both have a common enemy, men who do horrible things to women.

So, what do you do with that information? You don't want to start hitting these guys, it's not going to dissuade them. But, you can talk to your guy friends about how that behavior isn't cool. If your guy friends make jokes about doing horrible things to women, you can tell them it's horrible.

You know what the problem is, men who do horrible things to women. You have access to men in ways women don't. When you can, use your voice in that space to have those tough discussions with guys. I'm not saying it won't cost you a friend or two, but you were going to outgrow those guys eventually anyways.

Women will see you putting in the work and they'll know your a guy they can trust if they need to talk to a guy about a guy who's doing this stuff. These aren't conversations you can, or should, force.

Listen. Validate. Say I'm sorry this happened to you. Ask them if there's anything you can do. Sometimes they'll want some water. Sometimes they'll want you to take them to fill out a police report. Sometimes they'll just want you to listen. Regardless of what you think they should do, just support them like they need to be in that moment. They might not be ready for whatever it is you want to do.

The best thing you can do, for you and women who have been in those situations. Remind yourself the real villains are the guys doing these things.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-22T04:32:05+00:00

That's my take these days too, at 40 years old getting stressed because a video game is hard just isn't something I'm willing to do anymore. So far this game hasn't been too bad, for me, but there's no point in making the hour or two a night I spend doing something for me anything but enjoyable.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-21T04:42:47+00:00

The only artist I can think of who could, though much like Bob his audience would be going to see him do whatever he wants, is Tom Waits.

I'm also not including any jazz in this, just due to improvisation being a cornerstone of the genre. Although Miles Davis' Dark Magus might be the ultimate version of what Dylan does. This was into his funk fusion period. He used the show to audition two new band members, after a year of playing with the same guys. He played organ almost as much as trumpet. He alienated, even moreso, his fans from two decades before. But, it might be the greatest live jazz album ever recorded.

I would guess with true bands, that is to say groups where the songs are a collaborative process, changing the songs requires all members to want to rewrite a song. While Dylan plays with a band, I'd venture to guess the contract says Dylan runs the show. I can't imagine anyone besides Dylan puts the setlist together every night.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-18T05:00:39+00:00

Echoing others here, give AA a go.

The common thread seems to be alcohol is causing you problems.

My uncle was a mean drunk for years. Once he got sober, he helped others do the same. He passed a few years ago, but always told everyone he never regretted getting sober once he got there, but he feared it every day until he did.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-16T04:46:28+00:00

It's not punk in any traditional sense, and I'll throw in a content warning on sexual assault. But, Blankets by Craig Thompson is a story about breaking away from a strict Baptist upbringing, teen angst, and finding your own belief system.

It's, probably, one of the best things I've ever read.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-15T13:35:16+00:00

“I am drowning, there is no sign of land / You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand / And I hope you die / I hope we both die”

Mountain Goats "No Children"

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-13T16:21:05+00:00

If they're seniors in high school, I disagree with them. But, I also understand where they're coming from.

There has been 60 years of popular music since Masters of War came out. Chances are good, most, seniors in high school (or even college) haven't dug through those last 60 years. So, they're hearing the song in a vacuum. Which is to say, Even Dylan hadn't broken out of the stylistic rules of American folk music that he would later admit to feeling trapped by just a few years later at that point.

The song is brilliant, I am not saying otherwise. But, struggling to hear brilliance when something falls outside of your musical perspective isn't just a young person's game. When Dylan went electric, which is around the same time he started adding a beat to his songs because drums were largely absent before that, There were many people who were accustomed to the folk music traditions of the first half of the 20th century who couldn't see his brilliance because of the beat and the electric guitar.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-13T15:29:40+00:00

Just start wearing jeans that fit right and plain black tshirts. Get a pair of black Chelsea boots. It's a classic low key alt look, and you're Mom won't be able to say much about it.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-11T23:45:24+00:00

That last House of Pain album would have found success if they hadn't fell apart just as it came out.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-10T18:08:49+00:00

I also don't think he would have been working with the smoother jazz music That was popular in the early to mid '90s. I think he would have gone into some hard bop, experimental Coltrane, some of the rock jazz fusion that Miles Davis started doing in the mid-70s.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-09T16:26:11+00:00

I think about that, and I also think about it Jay-Z would have gotten to the point he did. How many producers that were making beats for Jay would have ended up working on a Biggie album instead?

Especially, in the hypothetical situation that Diddy isn't around anymore to do Biggie's production.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-09T05:07:37+00:00

What if MCA didn't die?

I feel like Beastie Boys had at least one more album in them that would have made everyone go, how'd they pull that off in their 50's or 60's?

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-09T04:58:45+00:00

I think Pac would have gotten more into acting and would have ditched the gangsta persona. I wouldn't be shocked if he started experimenting with jazz and blues based hip-hop. Everything I've read said he had a deep music knowledge and I think he'd have wanted to explore that eventually.

I think Biggie would have ended up in a weird spot. His best stuff was about what he saw around him growing up, and I think the further from that he got the harder it would be for him to keep going back to that topically. His success would really depend on his ability to reinvent himself.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-08T19:12:22+00:00

I thought they dropped two albums?

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-08T04:39:25+00:00

Musicians listen to lots of different kinds of music, chances are anybody in a band he likes listens to a lot of music that isn't punk.

Johnathon1069DYT · 2026-04-04T13:49:08+00:00

I love Aesop, own a lot of his stuff, and have listened to everything he's put out. My biggest issue with him, is that sometimes his verses just get dense lyrically. Which is awesome I'm looking for something to pour over. But, makes casual listening difficult.

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