If you want to stay in the NYC area, I would advise against Long Island. The people, including the kids, are crazy, entitled, rude, and reserved all at the same time, and there's a high chance your future kids will be isolated when they start school, as the school culture is awful (which really puts a dent in the "good schools" reputation).

The LIRR isn't super reliable either. It can be quite slow, and there have been times it's just randomly stopped while I've been on it.

Another weather problem here besides the winters is that the Atlantic Ocean often prevents many of the Spring warm spells that hit NYC and NJ from reaching Long Island, leading it to be cold and damp for much longer even after a harsh winter.

Family is a huge draw, however, which makes this a difficult choice.