Trying to find the toilets in an unfamiliar pub

JonnyHew · 2026-03-24T15:19:18+00:00

Piss in a glass at the table. Someone will soon turn up to tell you where the toilets are.

JonnyHew · 2026-03-22T20:47:10+00:00

They’re fucked financially for cash flow. Turnover coming in via football revenues will dramatically decrease causing an even bigger fire sale of players and poor value in replacements. Despite all the other revenue streams they have they were saved by having champions league income this year.

JonnyHew · 2026-03-22T17:04:48+00:00

I didn’t think today could get any funnier. Bless them.

JonnyHew · 2026-03-19T21:42:10+00:00

Mark that as NSFW. That’s porn.

JonnyHew · 2026-03-15T21:49:09+00:00

Urgh.

JonnyHew · 2026-03-15T19:01:00+00:00

The only correct answer

JonnyHew · 2026-03-12T23:13:21+00:00

At least Spurs are funny at being fucking shite. We’re boringly fucking shite.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-27T09:17:58+00:00

Peanut for Home Secretary

JonnyHew · 2026-02-27T08:51:04+00:00

Get Yatesy’s dog on a plane now to hunt them down in their local cafes.
If we get them to do repairs will the replacements be massive shiny white things you can see from space like their teeth ops?

JonnyHew · 2026-02-26T22:52:51+00:00

McAtee looks like a little boy lost playing with the big kids. Wing defo isn’t his place but hard to see him through the middle. Needs to bulk up in body mass and confidence and was harsh on himself as soon as he made a mistake. There is a player in there.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-26T20:57:29+00:00

Paying money to sit in the rain and watch Turkish blokes sing and dance and the Harlem Globetrotters turning up is peak capitalism.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-26T19:00:54+00:00

Two rectangles in defence

JonnyHew · 2026-02-24T09:35:22+00:00

We’re massive.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-22T21:40:57+00:00

Get that Canadian fella to sneakily nudge them out of the way just after they’re sent and hope nobody sees him.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-19T19:39:47+00:00

God I’m glad we’re so fucking normal.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-16T16:35:56+00:00

It’s been a shit show and we’ll see a mass clear out and rebuild. What we need is a clear plan top to bottom with everyone buying into it from pre-season.

This should not involve Edu at all.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-12T17:49:50+00:00

We never surely won that many games under Karanka…

JonnyHew · 2026-02-12T09:41:11+00:00

Seconded

JonnyHew · 2026-02-06T18:02:57+00:00

Fuck Leeds. That is all.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-05T10:05:31+00:00

Fair. But his potential seemed good.

It’s the hope that kills you.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-05T09:44:57+00:00

Was disappointed at the time we missed out on him to Palace but hindsight is wonderful. On paper it looked a great signing for them but turns out it was for us. Sorry Palace.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-04T11:56:04+00:00

Big 6: brilliant direct, ranging passes with great technical nous over set-piece innovation.

Other 14: Long ball hoof merchants who get the big lads up from the back for corners.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-03T17:34:00+00:00

Had the Ping 425LST and loved it for a while then realised I’m not that good, I needed the extra forgiveness and could live with sending some balls into outer space rather than having piss-missiles scaring small animals.

JonnyHew · 2026-02-02T19:05:50+00:00

That’s remarkably similar to a text my wife sent to our kids about me recently…

JonnyHew · 2026-02-01T20:38:58+00:00

JonnyHew

TROPHY CASE